


Playlists

by seungkwans



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Chan, Dino - Freeform, Disabled Character, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, I love that guy, Jeonghan, M/M, Music, POV Alternating, Romance, Secret Crush, Seventeen - Freeform, Time Skips, Wheelchairs, Wonwoo - Freeform, Woozi, Yoon Jeonghan is Whipped, asshole jeonghan, hoshi - Freeform, i did you dirty, idk how to tag, jeongcheol - Freeform, minghao - Freeform, mingyu - Freeform, playlists, scoups, seungcheol - Freeform, so im just gonna add all the members lol, sorry wonwoo, wonwoo appears like two times
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:55:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 39,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25304869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seungkwans/pseuds/seungkwans
Summary: Seungcheol was a boy in a wheelchair.His life was crap before Jeonghan walked into it.Jeonghan was the guy who slept around and was in steady- but not so steady relationship.His life sucked before Seungcheol wheeled into it.
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan, Xu Ming Hao | The8/Yoon Jeonghan
Comments: 102
Kudos: 114





	1. Chapter 1

Seungcheol was nervous. Even more nervous than usual. His palms were already sweating and they kept slipping off the wheels of his wheelchair, making it nearly impossible to move, which meant that he couldn't make a quick get-away out of his first job.

The manager had called an employee to push him around, which made Seungcheol feel, small and disabled. 

_Well, he was disabled._

Paralyzed from the waist down all because of a car accident, oh how he hated it. But it didn't stop him from living his life just like any other twenty-four year old. 

Well, to be perfectly honest, Seungcheol knew deep down that his paralyzed legs _were_ stopping him from living his best life. 

Firstly, he was still living with his mom. Heck, he couldn't even make it down the stairs without her help. 

Secondly, he couldn't talk. Well... okay, he could talk but he had an awful stutter which meant that it took him ten seconds to mutter out a simple 'hello.' So most of the time he just kept his mouth shut. 

And lastly, his paralyzed legs had stopped him from getting a job.

Every job except this one. 

An employee in an old record and CD shop. 

Not that he wanted to work in a smelly old shop that was run by a complete stoner, but what choice did he have? 

He held his breath as a guy, apparently named 'Jihoon' flipped the ' _Sorry we're closed'_ sign to the _'Hi! We're open_!' side. He felt like he was going to get sick. He _was_ going to get sick. He could feel the beads of sweat starting to drip down his forehead. 

"Whoa, are you okay?" 

Seungcheol jumped. It was the guy the manager had sent to help him out. 

Seungcheol nodded, terrified. He was bad at talking to new people. 

He was bad at talking in general. 

"Look, you'll be okay. Just... relax, alright? You look like you've just been told the zombie apocalypse is happening or something." he said with a small smile. 

The boy's appearance was cool, his hair blond and he had a nose ring. Seungcheol wondered if he ever had problems with his nose ring when he had a cold. That was the thing that was stopping him from getting one anyway. 

"So... how'd you end up in this, eh?" the boy asked as he patted the chair. 

Seungcheol just shrugged. He was afraid he'd scare the boy away with his stutter.

"What, you don't talk or something?"

Seungcheol nodded and the boy sighed. 

"Well i'm Soonyoung anyway, and from reading your name tag, you must be Seungcheol?" Soonyoung asked. 

Seungcheol nodded again.

Then Soonyoung smiled at him. 

Then the bell of the shop's door tingled and a group of teenagers tumbled into the shop. 

"Welcome to the world of sorting and stacking CD's." Soonyoung grumbled as he folded his arms. 

Seungcheol swallowed and stared fidgeting his hands. He wondered if it was too late to make that get-away now. 

**Jeonghan**

Jeonghan was pissed off when he stepped out of Starbucks. Minghao had called him to cancel their date _again._ This was the third date he'd dropped out of and he was getting tired of his lame excuses. 

He stomped down the street, kicking moodily at puddles on the ground. _Stupid Minghao... stupid date._ He was so steamed. 

He thought about calling Mingyu and asking him if he wanted to share a bottle of soju with him, but then decided against it, because getting wasted wasn't going to make anything better, although it would numb the sting of rejection a bit. 

No, he'd go say hi to Soonyoung at the old record and CD store. That would help. Soonyoung would let him go through the records as long as he wanted to. 

Yeah, he'd definitely go there. 

He sighed as he started to trudge towards the store, his heart heavy in his chest. 

Ever since he had returned to Seoul, after loosing his job in Busan, things had been shitty. 

First of all, he had gotten smashed on the first night back, and he couldn't remember what had happened, plus he woke up with a weird rash in this leg, which creeped him out. The hangover was horrible as well. 

Then there was his boyfriend, Minghao, who was avoiding him ever since he'd come home. 

_What was up with that?_

He sighed as he swung the door of the record shop open, the familiar scent of weed and dusty old vinyls greeting him like old friends. He stepped inside and immediately, Soonyoung waved at him. 

"Well would you look at what the wind blew in!" he laughed as he smirked at him. 

Forgetting all about his bad mood, Jeonghan smiled back at him. 

"What's up Hoshi?" he asked as he winked at him. Soonyoung scowled at him. 

"That's Soonyoung to you, Yoon Jeonghan." he huffed, then he turned away and disappeared to the back. 

Chuckling to himself, Jeonghan headed towards the start of the CD shelves. 

And that's when he saw him. 

He had been in this store so many times that he had lost count, and he had never seen this boy here before. 

He was in a wheelchair. That was the first thing he noticed. The second thing he noticed was the employee lanyard slung over his t-shirt and he frowned.

Yep, he definitely didn't remember any boy in a wheelchair working here. 

The third thing he noticed was that he was putting Mariah Carey's " _The Emancipation of Mimi_ " into the wrong section. That pissed him off. 

_Seriously,_ he couldn't believe that they had hired someone who obviously didn't have a clue about music. 

He was holding a bunch of them in his hand, the box in his lap. 

"Hey!" Jeonghan said loudly. 

He didn't hear him. 

_Or maybe he's ignoring me_ Jeonghan thought. 

"Hey!" he said again, a little louder this time. 

Nothing. He didn't even blink. 

Getting irritated, he marched over to him and tapped on his shoulder. 

"HEY!" he practically yelled this time. 

He definitely didn't anticipate what happened next. 

The boy nearly jumped out of the wheelchair and he let out a scream. Then, to let matters worse, he dropped the CDs and they crashed to the floor, making Jeonghan wince. 

He stared at the _Emancipation of Mimi's_ on the floor. 

"You're putting them in the wrong section." he grumbled as he scooped one of the ground. 

The boy stared at him like he was speaking some foreign language he didn't know.

"Look, it's Mariah Carey, so it belongs in the " _M"_ section, not the _"G"_ section." he sighed, getting impatient. 

He just stared at him blankly at him. 

"Just.. ahh..." he trailed off and stomped over to the 'M' section. 

"See?" he put it into the Mariah Carey section and gestured wildly at it. 

"It's not rocket science." 

Maybe he was imagining it, but Jeonghan swore he saw tears starting to form behind the boy's circular eyeglasses. 

He started to feel guilty. He was making him very uncomfortable. 

"JEONGHAN!" 

He turned around and saw Soonyoung giving him a look. 

He practically stormed towards him. 

"What?" he asked in an exasperated voice.

"I was just trying to-ow!" he yelped as Soonyoung grabbed his ear and started dragging him to the back room. 

Soon enough, the wheelchair boy was out of sight, and he still couldn't tell if he was crying or not. 

**Seungcheol**

Seungcheo had never been so embarrassed in his entire life. To be told by someone that he was doing his job wrong was bad, but being told by a _very good looking man_ that he was doing his job wrong was... well it was kind of bad. 

It was off the scale bad. 

Sometimes Seungcheol really wished the ground would open up and swallow him whole. 

The confrontation with the cute guy had made his anxiety worse. He was crying. 

Jesus, he hated his life so much sometimes. 

He couldn't even bend down and scoop up the CDs. He couldn't reach. Heck, he couldn't even call anybody to help him. 

He sighed as he wheeled nervously over to Jihoon, who was intensely reading a Batman comic. 

He tapped his back and he turned around. 

"What's up newbie?" he asked, not impressed that he had disturbed him. 

He jumped back and pointed to the pile of CDs on the floor. 

Jihoon's eyes softened a little. 

"Oh yeah... geez I forgot about your condition." he sighed as he put down his comic. 

He looked kindly at Seungcheol. 

"Hey, it's alright. It's not your fault that you need a little help sometimes." he said with a shrug, then he walked off. 

Seungcheol was definitely having the worst day of his life. 

**JEONGHAN**

"What is wrong with you?!" Soonyoung hissed at him as he slammed the door of the backroom. 

"I was just trying to help him!" he sighed as he folded his arms and leaned against the counter. 

"You weren't helping! You were being a dick!" he scoffed. 

Jeonghan rolled his eyes. 

"Well, you should've hired someone with a little more experience!" 

"Jesus christ, Jeonghan! The boy is in a fucking wheelchair!" 

Jeonghan froze, remembering the boy now. Now that he thought about it, he had been in a wheelchair... 

"Oh." he said finally, realizing what was going on. 

He felt bad. Of course they had hired a boy in a wheelchair. It was probably the only job he could get around here. 

Soonyoung punched his arm and Jeonghan scowled at him. 

"Alright! Alright! I get it! I'm sorry!" he huffed. 

He punches his arm again. 

"Don't apologize to me! Apologize to him!" 

Jeonghan sighed and peeked out of the back room window. The wheelchair boy was flicking through the Mariah Carey section. 

"Look, I'm sure he's forgotten about it-"

"Don't you start!" Soonyoung grabbed him by the ear again, opened the door, and shoved him outside. 

"Apologize or else I'm kicking you out of the shop!" he threatened. 

Jeonghan cursed and stared making his way over towards the wheelchair boy. 

This was so stupid. Why should he apologize to him? He was only trying to help the boy out. 

As he approached him, he noticed the smell of mint that lingered around him. He walked right up to boy and coughed loudly, alerting him about his presence a little more subtly this time. 

He looked up at him, his big brown eyes nearly burning holes into him, they were that shocking. For some reason they made Jeonghan feel nervous. 

"I'm sorry for scaring you." he grumbled as he tried to hold his gaze. His eyes flickerd down to the "Seungcheol" name tag pinned to his shirt. 

He didn't say anything, so he continued. 

"I realize that I was being a dick and that I didn't consider the fact that you're... I don't know disabled or something." he said awkwardly. 

The boy, Seungcheol, raised an eyebrow at him. 

He felt his face flush. Jeonghan wished he'd stop staring at him. 

"Here... I'll help you." he said finally, cautiously taking the box off of his lap. Seungcheol didn't object and instead, sat back in his wheelchair and raised an eyebrow at him, looking slightly amused. His eyes were shining playfully at him. 

"Ehhhh... okay." he mumbled, running a hand through his hair. 

"Right, so....ah! It's more Mariah." he said, a smile spreading across his face. 

"Butterfly, eh?" You've listened to this work of art, right?" he said, eyeing Seungcheol with curiosity. 

Seungcheol shrugged silently, not implying that he had or had not listened to the album. 

Jeonghan wondered if this boy ever talked. 

"It's a good album." he said finally, placing a couple of the albums on to the shelf. 

"You've got your hits like ' _My All'_ and obviously ' _Honey'_ but people forget about _'The Roof' and_ ' _Fourth of July'..."_ he trailed off, noticing Seungcheol watching him closely again. It was like he was hanging on to his every word. He was one of those people who actually listened to people when they spoke. 

He was so used to Mingyu and his attention span of a five year old, that he'd forgotten what it was like for someone to actually listen to what he's saying. 

He coughed awkwardly. 

"Yeah... so you should listen to it." he said after a while, ignoring his gaze. 

Seungcheol nodded and took out a pen and scrawled ' _The Roof'_ down on his hand. 

Jeonghan smiled. 

"Cool." he said. 

**Seungcheol**

As much as he didn't want to admit it, Seungcheol kind of liked Jeonghan. He was actually kind of cool, what, with his rose tattoo and his perfect black hair that fell in all the right places on his head. 

He felt much more relaxed in his company now that he'd spent nearly the whole afternoon with him. He seemed more relaxed too. Jeonghan stopped looking at him like he was disabled (even though he was, but he seemed to be getting over the fact.)

Jeonghan had even wheeled him around for a while, showing him artist he'd never herd off. Apparently, Jeonghan wasn't the biggest fan of pop music. 

Soonyoung had taken out a CD player and they were currently listening to the famous Mariah Carey that Jeonghan coulnd't stop blabbing on about. 

"It's great isn't it?" Jeonghan said over the sweet melodies. 

Seungcheol closed his eyes in bliss. He definitely enjoyed these songs. 

Noticing his facial expressions, Jeonghan laughed and folded his arms. He was leaning against the counter, much to Soonyoung's annoyance, but Seungcheol thought he looked cool. 

"You don't talk much, do you?" he asked as he looked at Seungcheol. 

"Jeonghan!" Soonyoung yelled. He hit him over the head with one of Jihoon's comics. 

Jeonghan rubbed his head and looked grouchily over at Soonyoung. 

"Seriously! What is your problem?" he huffed at Soonyoung. 

Deciding that he didn't want Soonyoung to explain, Seungcheol tugged on Jeonghan's hand gently. 

He turned back around to face Seungcheol, his eyes confused, but somewhat soft and caring. 

He felt himself blush. He scrawled a quick note on his hand and held it in front of Jeonghan. 

CAN'T TALK. BAD STUTTER IT TAKES ME A MILLION YEARS TO SAY HI. 

"Oh." Jeonghan said, sending him a sad look.

He swatted it away and shrugged. He was used to people's reactions to his disabilities by now. 

There was an awkward silence, which consisted of Seungcheol staring down at his shoes and Jeonghan running his hand through his hair. As creepy as it sounded, Seungcheol loved when he did that, and he'd only know Jeonghan for a couple of hours. 

Finally, Soonyoung broke the silence. 

"Hey... I think I've got an idea!" he said excitedly, making Seungcheol jump. 

Soonyoung started typing and clicking frantically on a little laptop he was working on and then suddenly he plonked it on Seungcheol's lap. 

Seungcheol stared at it, confused. 

"Type something into it!" Soonyoung said eagerly. 

Seungcheol blinked and stared at the black screen through his thin round glasses. Then, slowly, he typed in the first thing that popped into his mind. 

"MARIAH CAREY IS GOOD." 

The computer had spoken for him. 

Jeonghan beamed at him, probably glad Seungcheol had technically said that he liked Mariah. 

"See I told you that you'd like her! She's an R&B legend!" he said as he stared dreamily at the CD player.

Seungcheol, thrilled that he could talk, began to type quickly. 

"I LOVE THE ROOF."

Jeonghan smiled at him again and then there was a lot of awkward eye contact. 

Wanting to keep the conversation going, he typed in a question that was annoying him all day. 

"DO YOU ALWAYS TELL PEOPLE THAT THEY DO THEIR JOB WRONG OR IS IT JUST BOYS IN WHEELCHAIRS?" he typed, a smirk on his face. 

Jeonghan laughed and smiled at him, making him feel warm and fuzzy inside. 

"I didn't mean to sound like a douche when I told you that you were doing your job wrong." he said with a shrug, and Soonyoung whacked him with his hand. 

"Jeonghan is naturally a douche, so don't take anything he says personally." he said. 

This made Jeonghan laugh and then Seungcheol was laughing too. 

Maybe it wasn't going to be so bad working in the record shop after all. 


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short-ish chapter, but i hope u enjoy!!

**Chapter Song: Rain on Me by Ashanti**

**Track 4 on 'Cool R &B songs I think You'd Like' **

**Made by Jeonghan**

**Seungcheol**

The week flew by for Seungcheol, which was weird because usually it always dragged, mostly due to the fact that he used to spend his time doing nothing. 

But this week had been different, especially with Jeonghan popping in and out of the store. He'd introduced Seungcheol into a new whole word of music.

But it was Saturday, and the store didn't open on weekends, so that meant that he still had to go to his speech doctor.

He sighed as he wheeled towards Doctor Yang's office. It was a nice place, with pastel blue walls and big rectangular windows. The slated roof was kind of nice too. 

He wheeled into the office building and rang the doorbell. 

It was going to be a long hour and a half. 

**Jeonghan**

Saturdays were the worst. The record shop was closed, which meant that he coulnd't see Seungcheol, which was shitty because he made a a CD for him with all of his favorite songs burned on to it. 

He had called Mingyu to see if he wanted to hang out, but it turned out he was off with some friends, and Jeonghan didn't want to get a pity invite. He didn't even bother calling Minghao either because he already knew the answer. 

So here he was, walking down the street like a sore looser, thinking about a boy in a wheelchair and how his friends had a much better life than his. 

Honestly, what was wrong with him though? He was Yoon Jeonghan for God's sake! The king of partying and drinking. It was final. He was definitely heading over to Mingyu's place and seeing if he could get that pity invite. 

But just as he was about to turn around, a boy in a wheelchair wheeled out of a building, straight in front of him. 

**Seungcheol**

He nearly ran him over with his wheelchair. Jeonghan had to jump to the left to avoid getting squashed, but the minute he saw Seungcheol, his face lit up. 

"Seungcheol!" he said as he stared at him, his eyes shining. 

Seungcheol blushed. He hadn't even dressed up nicely today. Come to think of it, he never dressed up at all, and Jeonghan always caught him in his old tracksuits and over-sized t-shirts. 

"HI JEONGHAN." said the computer. 

Jeonghan winked at him. 

"God, I love the sound of your computer voice." he teased.

"DON'T EVEN START JEONGHAN."

He laughed and shook his head, his hair still managing to flop back into it's perfect state.

"So what are you doing out here anyway?" Jeonghan asked curiously. 

"SPEECH DOCTOR." he typed, nodding towards the blue building. 

"Speech doctor?"

Seungcheol felt himself cringe. Jeonghan noticed his uncomfortable-ness though, and quickly said "Hey! It's alright. Nothing to be ashamed of." But this only made Seungcheol feel more ashamed and embarrassed. 

He looked down at his watch.

1:46! He was usually home by now! His mom was going to flip. 

"I'M SORRY JEONGHAN, BUT I HAVE TO GO HOME NOW. MY MOM... SHE GETS NERVOUS WHEN I DON'T COME HOME ON TIME. YOU KNOW, BECAUSE OF MY CONDITION." he typed, the embarrassment nearly too much to handle. 

But then, instead of saying okay, he surprised him and said

"Let me walk you home."

He was too shocked to even type a reply, so instead he just nodded and then he started to wheel slowly down the road, Jeonghan walking beside him. 

As they walked on, without warning, Jeonghan slipped his hands on to the wheelchair's handles and started to wheel him. Seungcheol didn't say anything. 

He didn't mind having a cute guy with hella good hair pushing him down the street at all. 

**Jeonghan**

He had let him wheel him down the street, and along the way they made small talk, mostly about music that they both liked. Jeonghan was delighted to hear that Seungcheol had gotten into Mariah.

He didn't want the journey to end, but unfortunately they got to Seungcheol's house in ten minutes and Jeonghan knew he'd have to go. 

"So this is your house?" he asked as he eyed the two-story house. 

"YEAH. IT'S NOT MUCH THOUGH AND I LIVE WITH MY MOM BECAUSE OF MY CONDITION."

He looked embarrassed but Jeonghan didn't see why he should be. 

"It's okay to need help sometimes." he said quietly as he wheeled him to the porch. 

Seungcheol didn't reply and soon enough they were outside his front door. 

"THANKS FOR WALKING ME HOME." 

"Don't mention it." 

He rang the doorbell and Jeonghan stood awkwardly in the porch, waiting to see if he got in. Then remembering the CD, he quickly shoved his hand in to his pocket and pulled out his work of art.

"I uhm... made a playlist for you." he mumbled as he handed Seungcheol the CD. 

He took it and examined it, a smile on his face. 

"You might not like it... but it's just a couple of my favorite songs and... uhm..." he was stumbling over his words. It was really embarrassing. 

"I'M SURE THEY'RE GREAT." Seungcheol typed and gave him a small smile that made him feel warm. 

Jeonghan heard the footsteps of Seungcheol's mom as she opened the door. He really didn't want to say goodbye. 

_It was now or never._

"Do you want to hang out today?" he blurted out just as Seungcheol's mom answered the door. 

He blinked blinked at Jeonghan. It was like he couldn't believe what Jeonghan was saying. 

"Seungcheol! There you are, thank goodness you're-oh!" 

Seungcheol's mom stopped when she saw Jeonghan, and he gave her a polite bow, wanting to make a good impression. 

"MOM I"M HANGING OUT WITH JEONGHAN TODAY."

Jeonghan couldn't stop the smile spreading across his face. 

"I'll look after him Miss." he said as he ran a hand nervously through his hair. 

"Well... Okay. Seungcheol call me if you need me." 

And then she left and Seungcheol turned to face him.

"SORRY ABOUT MY MOM. SHE ISN'T USED TO ME HAVING FRIENDS." said his computer as he rolled his eyes. 

"I'm your friend?" Jeonghan said, smirking at him.

"MAYBE. I HAVEN'T DECIDED."

And then he took the handles of his wheelchair and they started walking out of the driveway. 

"WHERE ARE WE GOING?"

"To my place. I want to show you something."

**Seungcheol**

He couldn't believe it. Jeonghan wanted to hang out with _him_ for the whole day. Plus, he seemed pretty genuine about it. Jeonghan even brought him to his place to show him something. He was definitely glad he took the record store shop job now. 

Jeonghan had placed him beside the couch and was rummaging in the drawer for something. 

"I keep my collection in a box... it should be here somewhere... aha!" he pulled out a big box that was overflowing with CDs. 

"This, my friend, is the best CD collection you will ever come across in your entire life." he said as he sat down on the floor in front of him, plonking the CD box on his lap. 

"Look through these while I go get a CD player." he said as he handed him a couple and scampered off. 

He stared at the covers of the albums. 

Aaliyah, Mary J. Blige, Usher... he had never listened to these artist before. 

"Sorry, I couldn't find it for a sec... Mingyu tends to hide all my stuff... he thinks it's funny." Jeonghan sat beside him and smiled at him. 

"So, which album do you want to listen to first?" 

He held up a Mariah Carey one. It looked interesting, mostly because of the pretty butterflies surrounding Mariah in on the cover. 

"Good choice." said Jeonghan. He took it from Seungcheol and slipped it into the CD player. The first song started playing and Seungcheol bopped his head, dancing along to 'Honey.' 

\----------------------------------

**Seungcheol**

"I can't believe you've never listened to Mariah." 

"JEONGHAN, IT'S NOT A CRIME."

"On the contrary Mister I've-Never-Listened-To-Living-Legend-Mariah-Carey, you were singing to _We Belong Together_ earlier today." 

"BUT EVERYONE KNOWS THAT SONG." 

"Wait! Whoa, whoa, whoa! So you listened to that song without even knowing the artist? Choi Seungcheol, have you no shame?"

Seungcheol laughed as Jeonghan pretended to faint on the ground. They were still on the floor, bonding over skittles, popcorn and the type of music they listened to in high school. They were arguing over how Seungcheol's music taste sucked and how Jeonghan's music taste wasn't much better. 

"THERE'S NOTHING WRONG ABOUT LIKING CLASSICAL MUSIC AND CHART MUSIC." he typed as he raised an eyebrow at Jeonghan. 

Jeonghan rolled his eyes. 

"How is it possible for you to like Mariah and Mozart? Face it sweetie, your music taste is fucking weird." Jeonghan teased. 

"YOU DID NOT JUST CALL ME SWEETIE." 

"You did not just you like classical music _and_ chart music."

"I DON'T SEE THE PROBLEM." 

He sat back in his wheelchair, arms folded, a smirk n his face. 

Then without a warning, Jeonghan scooped up the bowl of skittles and dumped them over Seungcheol's head. 

"YOON JEONGHAN DON-" but he never got to finish typing, because Jeonghan dumped the popcorn over him too. 

Jeonghan was laughing, and Seungcheol was too, his stomach was filling with butterflies and a feeling he couldn't quite explain. Then suddenly, the doorbell rang and Jeonghan snapped his head up curiously. 

"I should probably answer that shouldn't I?" he mumbled as he stood up, brushing off his jeans. Seungcheol nodded slowly, his anxiety starting to build up. 

Jeonghan looked at him worriedly. 

"Hey, it's alright. It's probably just-"

"HANNIEEEEEE! IT'S YOUR LOVELY HUSBAND WITH COMPANY!" yelled a voice from the hall. 

Seungcheol nearly chocked on the skittle he was eating, and Jeonghan shot him a nervous look. 

"He's not really my husband." he said awkwardly, and Seungcheol laughed. 

He was about to answer, but then a tall, handsome man walked in, followed by an equally handsome guy with a black mullet and pretty eyes. 

"Minghao?" Jeonghan squeaked as he stared, wide-eyed at the boy. The boy with the mullet winked at him and then Jeonghan was sprinting over to him, tackling him with kisses. The whole scene made Seungcheol wish he was invisible, or better, not even here. 

"Well that's awkward." sighed the tall, handsome man as he looked over at Seungcheol. 

"You must be the famous ' _Seungcheol in a wheelchair'_ Jeonghan won't shut up about." he said as he walked over to Seungcheol. Seungcheol felt his palms get sweat and his heart beat pick up.

"I'm Mingyu, by the way. Partier by day, stripper by night."

Seungcheol didn't know if he was joking or being serious. Mingyu sounded dead serious to him. 

He couldn't even type a reply to Mingyu because he was too preoccupied with the fact that Jeonghan and his boyfriend were currently having a make-out session against the wall. He couldn't help but feel a stabbing pain in his heart. 

Of course Jeonghan had a boyfriend. How stupid had he been to even imaging having a chance with Jeonghan? Why would he go out with someone who couldn't even go up the stairs without help. It made sense that he had a boyfriend because of how painfully attractive he was. 

"I heard you don't talk much, but that's alright."

He jumped as Mingyu's voice brought him out of his daze. He typed a quick reply. 

"I HAVE SPEECH PROBLEMS, SO I USE THIS COMPUTER THINGY THAT SOONYOUNG SET UP FOR ME." 

To his surprise, Mingyu nodded understandingly. 

"It's cool. Jeonghan said you were awesome anyway."

He blushed. 

"So... you can still hook up with me right?"

He smiled and was about to reply, but then he heard Jeonghan and Minghao pull apart (which sounded like a plunger being pulled out of a toilet) and then Jeonghan yelled "No flirting with Seungcheol, Mingyu!"

Mingyu pouted at him. 

"Well if you're getting it on tonight, why shouldn't I?"

"He's out of bounds Kim Mingyu." said Jeonghan sternly and then went back to kissing Minghao. 

Mingyu rolled his eyes and gave Seungcheol the best smile he had ever seen. 

"He's such a little fucker sometimes, isn't he. 

Seungcheol laughed and nodded, which made Mingyu laugh too, and it was then that Seungcheol knew that he and MIngyu were going to be good friends, even if he did have the mind of a dirty twelve year old.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hiiiii  
> its short and this is kind of a filler chapter, i think, but it's really cute, i think. haha.  
> it's going slow rn butttt.... we'll get to the fun + drama parts soon  
> i hope u enjoy :D 
> 
> also... thank u for 100 reads whoop whoop!

**Chapter Song: You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift**

**\- Track 13 on "Songs Not To Show Jeonghan" (made by Seungcheol)**

  
**Seungcheol**

His day went from being really good to really shitty in the space of an hour. It was like Jeonghan had completely forgotten that Seungcheol was there, which meant that he was stuck talking to Mingyu, who was obsessed with talking about puppies. But it wasn't that Seungcheol didn't like Mingyu, or his company, it was just hard to concentrate when the people opposite of you are ready to get it on. 

Finally, he couldn't take it anymore. 

"IT'S GETTING LATE. I BETTER HEAD HOME." he typed as he started to wheel towards the hall. 

"But you can't leave! Please don't leave me alone with these two!" Mingyu whined as he chased after him. 

"MY MOM WORRIES IF I'M NOT HOME EARLY."

Mingyu sighed and then threw on a jacket. 

"Well, I'm walking you home then. The sexual tension in this room is making me feel awkward." he huffed. 

"Jeonghan! I'm dropping Seungcheol home!" he yelled over his shoulder. 

No one replied, there was only a sight moan which made Seungcheol want to throw up, and by the looks of it, Mingyu did too. 

"Come on, let's go before they start taking off their clothes." Mingyu grumbled as he took the wheelchair handles in his hand and he started to push. 

They made small talk on the way home, and when they got to Seungcheol's house, Mingyu gave him a small smile. 

"You know, Jeonghan was right about you. You're pretty damn cool to hang out with." he said, as he leaned against the porch. 

He blushed, not sure what to say. 

"If you're bored, well, call me. I'm always around." Mingyu said quietly, then he walked off just as Seungcheol's mom answered the door. 

As he wheeled into the house, his head was spinning like crazy. He even wheeled into the coffee table and knocked over the lamp. 

  
**Jeonghan**

When he woke up, Minghao was gone, which would explain why the other side of the bed was cold and empty.

He glanced over his alarm clock and smiled. It was ten. That meant the record shop was open. He jumped out of bed and grabbed his keys, and started to head outside. 

Seungcheol's name swirled in his head, making him feel excited. He made another CD for him after Minghao fell asleep. It was a Mariah Carey one this time, due to the fact that Seungcheol only knew like three songs. 

He started to unlock his car and was about to get in when a lady walking by screamed and dropped her groceries. 

"Uhmm.. Sir!" she squeaked as she stared at him wide-eyed. 

"What? What's up?" he asked, confused. 

"Sir... y-you're not wearing any pants!" 

He dropped his head to his legs and saw that he was still in his briefs. 

"Crap." he mumbled, color filling his cheeks. 

"Uhmm... thanks for reminding me." he said awkwardly as he nodded at the lady. 

She stared at him like he should be put into a mental home. 

He dashed back into his house, then five minutes later he was in his car, driving towards the record store. 

With pants. 

  
**Seuncheol**

"So, are you going to tell me what's going on between you and Jeonghan?" asked Soonyoung as he dropped a box of CD's on Seungcheol's lap. 

He rolled his eyes. 

"NOTHING IS GOING ON BETWEEN ME AND JEONGHAN. WE JUST HANG OUT, THAT'S ALL."

He shoved a couple of _Abbey Road_ 's into the shelf, trying to ignore Soonyoung's sighs. 

"Come on Soonyoung! Stop pretending that you don't get butterflies when that douche bag is around." said Soonyoung, sending him a smirk. 

"HE'S NOT A DOUCH BAG."

"See? You just had to defend him there."

"Leave him alone Soonyoung. If he says he doesn't like Jeonghan, he doesn't." said Jihoon, coming to the rescue. 

Seungcheol sent him a thankful smile, and Jihoon gave him a wink. 

"Oh come on, not _you_ too Jihoon!" Soonyoung laughed. 

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" Seungcheol typed, confused. 

"First Jeonghan, now Mingyu, now Jihoon. Seungcheol you're such a dude magnet." Soonyoung laughed, and Jihoon scowled at him. 

"What makes you think that-" 

"Oh look! He's here! And what do ya know, Mingyu is with him too." 

Seungcheol sent Soonyoung a dark look, but he ignored him and skipped off towards the two of them, smiling like the cheshire cat. 

"What a lovely surprise gentlemen!" he said as he wiggled his eyebrows at them, and Seungcheol and JIhoon started to laugh as Jeonghan looked nervously at Soonyoung.

"Hey is Seung-" started Jeonghan, but Soonyoung cut him off. 

"Say no more! Your prince is over there, stacking The Beatles." he said as he curtseyed in Seungcheol's direction. 

"SOONYOUNG SHUT THE HELL UP OR I'LL SHOVE THESE CD'S UP YOUR-"

"Don't make me take that laptop off you!" 

Seuncheol laughed and tried to stay cool as Jeonghan started walking over to him. He was still kinda mad at Jeonghan for completely ditching him the other day, but the minute he approached him, his anger disappeared. 

Jeonghan held up a CD and smiled triumphantly at him. 

"I figured that you'd want to listen to a collection of Mariah Carey's best songs, carefully picked and burned onto a disk by me." he said as he handed Seungcheol the CD. 

"AND WHAT WOULD GIVE YOU THAT IDEA?" he typed.

'I'm telepathic." Jeonghan said as he leaned against a shelf. 

"RIGHT. WHATEVER YOU SAY."

He went back to staking the CD's, but then Jeonghan was standing in front of him, blocking him. 

"ANY REASON WHY YOU'RE BEING PARTICULARLY ANNOYING TODAY, YOON JEONGHAN?"

"Damn, your computer voice is hot." he teased. 

"DON'T LET YOUR BOYFRIEND HEAR YOU SAY THAT."

"Are you mad at me?"

"AND WHY ON EARTH WOULD I BE MAD AT YOU?"

"You know... because I sort of ditched you the other night."

"YOU KNOW, YOU'RE SMARTER THAN YOU LOOK. I GUESS THERE'S MORE TO YOU THAN JUST A PRETTY FACE." 

"Does that mean you're forgiving me?"

"I CAN'T STAY MAD AT YOU JEONGHAN." 

Jeonghan smiled at him, satisfied. 

"So does that mean you'll listen to the CD?" he asked, his eyes hopeful. 

Seungcheol rolled his eyes as he stacked the last CD. 

"I WAS GOING TO LISTEN TO IT ANYWAY."

Jeonghan smiled at him and then suddenly, the shelf he was leaning on fell over, Jeonghan going down with it. 

CRASH!

"SMOOTH JEONGHAN. VERY SMOOTH."

"Shut up you." he grumbled, his face red. 

Seungcheol looked over at Soonyoung and Jihoon. 

They were all laughing so hard that they were nearly crying. 

  
**Jeonghan**

He walked him home that evening, even though he told him he was fine, but Jeonghan insisted. Mostly because he didn't want to say goodbye. 

"I NEARLY FORGOT TO GIVE YOU THIS."

Jeonghan watched as he clicked his laptop and a CD popped out of the CD rom. 

"SINCE YOU INSIST ON GIVING ME CD'S FULL OF YOUR R&B MUSIC, I HAVE DECIDED THAT I WOULD MAKE A PLAYLIST OF AMAZING SONGS." he handed Jeonghan a CD with ' _Seungcheol's Tunes_ ' written on it. 

He smiled down at it. 

"So is there any One Direction on this?" He teased, knowing that he listened to One Direction secretly (thanks to Soonyoung.)

"I'M NOT SAYING ANYTHING." 

They reached the house too soon. Jeonghan wheeled him all the way to the front door and rang the doorbell. 

"I'll come see you tomorrow. Maybe I came convince Minghao to come along to the record store," he said, sounding a little too eager.

Seungcheol's face fell a little, which confused him. Suddenly the air felt colder and the warmth in the conversation disappeared, for reasons that Jeonghan didn't know. 

"Hey... what's up?" he asked as he gave Seungcheol a worried look, but he shrugged him off. Then his mom opened the door and Seungcheol disappeared inside before Jeonghan could even say goodbye. 


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiii  
> another chapter hehe  
> i still haven't replied to all of the comments,,, i will!! but i'm just so excited!!! don't be shy,,, leave some comments ;D  
> somi had a comeback today!! whoop whoop idk if i like it yet, but the melody is stuck in my head so i guess that's good lol  
> also,,, i'm so dumb!! i thought i had uploaded chapter 2 on tuesday but i hadn't *smacks forehead* ugh that was annoying, but whatever i guess lol  
> last thing,,,, ik this is moving slow but pls don't leave me!! im trying to make it cool, interesting and REALISTIC!!! even though this won't ever happen...  
> whatever... enjoy!!!

**Chapter Song: Everything Has Changed by Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran**

**-Track 1 on 'Songs for Jeonghan' (made by Seungcheol)**

**Jeonghan**

Seungcheol had been avoiding him since Monday and now it was Saturday, which meant that he had his speech therapy, so Jeonghan was sitting outside the speech doctor's building, waiting for him to wheel out. 

He was going to talk to Seungcheol. They had barely spoken a word to each other all week (even though Seungcheol couldn't talk, but he hadn't typed anything to him in days.) He was definitely going to ask Seungcheol why he was avoiding him as much as possible. Was it something he had said? He didn't know. 

And then Seungcheol was wheeling out of the building, nearly wheeling over Jeonghan's toes, but Seungcheol stopped as soon as he saw him, then quickly started to try and wheel away from him. 

"Wait! Seungcheol -please!" he jumped in front of the wheelchair, making him stop. 

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" he typed, looking slightly pissed at him. 

"I... I wanted to talk." he stammered. 

Seungcheol looked up at him and something like pain flashed in his eyes, but it disappeared before Jeonghan could be sure. 

"WELL, I'M LISTENING."

Jeonghan swallowed, his throat dry. 

"You've been avoiding me." he said quietly. 

Seungcheol didn't look at him, his big brown eyes stayed looking at his keyboard. 

"I mean if it's something that I said... or did... I'm sorry." he sighed and stared miserably at the ground.

"Look, if you're not going to talk to me, then I guess I'll go home then." he grumbled, getting a little annoyed. 

He turned around and started to walk away from Seungcheol, a sinking feeling in his stomach.

**Seungcheol**

He was walking away. _God, he had to do something!_ He couldn't lose the only friend he had ever really known. Plus, he had a CD for him and all. 

He started to wheel after Jeonghan as fast as he could. 

_Come on, come on, come on!_

He was a fast walker. By the time Seungcheol had caught up to Jeonghan, he was out of breath. 

At first they said nothing, but then, without a word, he started to push him.

"You're kind of out of breath." he said, the ghost of smile on his face. 

Seungcheol puffed out his cheeks and let his head rest on the back of his wheelchair. 

"Does this mean we can hang out today?"

He looked up at him. Jeonghan was smiling down at him. Seungcheol nodded slowly, and then, when Jeonghan thought he wasn't looking, he punched a victory fist in the air. Seungcheol had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from laughing out loud. 

\------

**Seungcheol**

"SOONYOUNG TOLD ME THAT YOU LIKE TO SLEEP AROUND A LOT."

Jeonghan raised an eyebrow at him, 

"And since when is everything Soonyoung says true?" he asked quizzically. 

Seungcheol shrugged, implying it was only a statement, and stuffed a handful of skittles into his mouth. 

They were in Jeonghan's place, the CD player out and Seungcheol's playlist for Jeonghan filling the room. Seungcheol was sitting in his wheelchair and Jeonghan was sitting on the floor, legs crossed, clutching the CD cover in his hand and reading it. 

"You know... I think I like the first song." he said after a while, looking up and giving her a crooked smile. Seungcheol smiled down at his feet. 

"Yeah... _Everything Has Changed_ by Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran..." Jeonghan trailed off and started to hum the tune. 

God, if only he _knew._ Sure, the playlist was a mix of some of Seungcheol's favorite songs, but the songs had a much deeper meaning. Sort of like a message Seungcheol was trying to tell Jeonghan, but he had to decode it through lyrics. 

For example, track one, ' _Everything Has Changed'_ was about Seungcheol's first feelings when he met Jeonghan and how he started to look at his world a little differently, and then you had track seven, ' _Patient Love' by Passenger_ that discreetly implied that Seungcheol was willing to wait for Jeonghan, even though he was called for. 

But the question was, _would he ever figure it out?_ Jeonghan's songs were random, completely picked merrily because they were his favorite, whereas Seungcheol wanted to tell Jeonghan how he felt about him through music and lyrics, since he couldn't say it himself. 

But as he looked at him now, so happy and content listening to ' _Give Me Love'_ by Ed Sheeran, maybe it was best that Jeonghan didn't know about the meaning of each song. 

Maybe it was best to let him figure it our eventually, or never at all. 

"Are you okay? You're staring into space and your face is all worried looking." Jeonghan's concerned voice shook him out of his thoughts. He smiled feebly at him. 

"YEAH. I'M FINE. JUST THINKING." he typed. 

Jeonghan nodded and stared down at his hands, his eyebrows furrowed like he was debating something in his head. 

"Are you doing anything tonight?" he blurted out suddenly, making Seungcheol jump. 

He laughed softly and shook his head. 

'Uhmmm... Mingyu's having a party tonight and... it would be really awesome if you could come..." he trailed off, his eyes waiting for Seungcheol's reaction. 

Seungcheol didn't know what to say, he had never been to a party in his whole life. People always made excuses as to why he couldn't go to their party. 

" _Oh yeah! Seungcheol I'd love to invite you to my party... but it's a pool party and well... you know because of your legs..."_

_"Sorry! You can't come to our party because we don't think you'd be able to handle it!"_

Memories of rejection flooded his mind, he felt like he was going to be sick. His anxiety was starting to kick in and as he thought of all the things that could go wrong at the party. Jeonghan seemed to notice his unenthusiastic expression and took his hand in his. 

"Please come... I promise I'll drive you home if you don't like it." he said, his eyes pleading. 

Seungcheol fidgeted with his bracelets nervously. 

"SO WHAT TIME DOES THIS PARTY START AT?" he typed slowly. 

**Jeonghan**

Jeonghan was a pretty confident guy most of the time, but why shouldn't he be? Every guy had either heard of or slept with Yoon Jeonghan, he was kind of like the dream boat of the town. This only boosted his confidence, and sometimes made him a little arrogant and cocky, but Minghao didn't really mind most of the time.

But for some reason that _Yoon Jeonghan_ confidence wasn't quite working at the moment, and his palms were sweating as Seungcheol's mom answered the door for him. 

"Ahh... Mister Yoon." the woman said as she smiled warmly at him. She had a slight accent, and Jeonghan wondered what made them move to Seoul. 

"Uhhh...hi." he said, his voice an octave higher than usual. 

"Seungcheol's just in the kitchen talking with your friend Soonyoung. Come in." she waved him inside and he shuffled inside awkwardly. 

The house was nice, creme paint on the walls, framed pictures of Seungcheol and his family in various different places, it made him smile at how much his family cared about him. 

He stepped into the kitchen and saw Seungcheol, his face buried in a sketch pad and Soonyoung sitting across from him. 

"Ooooh look it's Yoon Jeonghan, Seoul's biggest man whore." teased Soonyoung as he winked at Seungcheol. 

Seungcheol snapped his head up at the mention of his name and he smiled as Jeonghan winked at him. 

"Looking good Seungcheol." he said cheekily, but yelped as something hit him over the head. 

"No flirting with my son while I'm around." said Seungcheol's mom as she gave him a serious look. He felt mortified and Soonyoung was laughing hysterically while Seungcheol looked uncomfortable. 

"Alright, we're ready to go." said Soonyoung as he smiled at Seungcheol.

"You look handsome." Soonyoung added and Seungcheol turned even more red. 

"I'll wheel you out." said Jeonghan smoothly, and Seungcheol sent him an anxious look. 

For a second, Jeonghan forgot about Minghao and stared at Seungcheol in a way he wasn't supposed to. _You guys are just friends. He's disabled. It wouldn't work._ Said his subconscious in the back of his mind. But for the first time ever, Jeonghan really looked at Seungcheol properly. 

He had really long eyelashes, his glasses hid his eyes the tinniest bit, but there was no mistaking the gorgeous brown color of his eyes and the million of stars that were shining in his eyes. And his smile, that had to be Jeonghan's favorite thing about Seungcheol. He had a smile brighter than the sun. 

The thing was, Seungcheol wasn't sexy. He wasn't someone who he would see on the dance floor and would want to have sex right then and there. 

But there was something about Seungcheol that made him... feel _different_. 

He just wasn't sure what it was about Seungcheol. 

For example, the other night while they were listening to one of his old mixtapes on his old cassette player, he had some sort of urge to lean in and kiss him.

And the thought didn't pass all night.

"YO JEONGHAN! ARE YOU GONNA WHEEL ME OUT TO YOUR CAR, OR DO I HAVE DO IT MYSELF?" his computer voice snapped him out of his thoughts, and his mind switched back to reality. His mind switched back to being friends with Seungcheol and the moment of seeing him as someone who he'd like to kiss passed. 

He smiled at Seungcheol. 

"Don't push it." he said an to his surprise he laughed. 

That was the second time he had made him laugh since he met him. 

Jeonghan made a mental note to try and get him to laugh more. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wehh  
> it literally hurt writing that my baby cheol wasn't... /sexy/ EHHH  
> he's literally the most attractive person in the world ughh


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiii!! a few things:  
> \- i went back and read the previous chapters, and omg i'm literally cringing... there were so many mistakes. ew. well, i fixed them now so that's cool i guess  
> \- as i was reading, i kept thinking "omg, i rlly want to change mingyu to my baby jun." like, that's all i was thinking about. what do you guys think? should i keep mingyu as mingyu or change him to jun? it's not rlly important [the name], lol  
> \- i had a hard time choosing the chapter song (which by the way, are sometimes chosen at random, and sometimes they actually mean something lol it just depends on the playlist name and what goes on in the chapter.) but i chose little mix's version of word up cause it was more upbeat than cameo's lol  
> \- not important, but i started writing this chapter listening to 90s-early 2000s r&b, then 90s- early 2000s pop, and then suddenly im listening to FOB, BVB and SWS, and currently, as im typing this im listening to Danzon No.2 by Arturo Marquez (if you haven't heard it, pls do! it's one of my favorite pieces !) lol i just found that funny 
> 
> ok im done.. ill update again tomorrow, maybe.  
> enjoy!

**Chapter Song: Word Up by Little Mix**

**\- Track 6 on "My Guilty Pleasure Songs" (made by Jeonghan)**

**Seungcheol**

Seungcheol had heard of these wild house party things at High School a long time ago, but he had never actually _been_ to one before. He had seen what they could be like in those stupid movies that always end up with the girl going to a party and getting pregnant in the end, but he had always thought these were just glorified versions. 

That was, until he saw Mingyu's house. 

It was a mansion. Literally. Lights were shooting out of the house like beams of the freaking sun, people were everywhere, in the front garden, hanging out of windows, _on the roof._

 _"_ Mingyu sure knows how to throw a killer party." whistled Soonyoung as he stared at the house, his eyes wide. 

"He's the king of partying." said Jeonghan simply, but Soonyoung raised an eyebrow at him. 

"And you're not?" Soonyoung sounded skeptical, but Seungcheol never really thought of Jeonghan as the partying type. He seemed like one of those guys who stayed in at the weekends and listened to old records while playing with his dogs. 

Jeonghan shifted uncomfortably while Seungcheol stared at him quizzically. 

He was about to type something, but the he froze when he saw Minghao walking over coolly in an all black outfit. 

"Jeonghan!" Minghao exclaimed as he grabbed Jeonghan and shoved his tongue down his throat. Seungcheol wrinkled his nose at the smell of alcohol off him. But to his disappointment, Jeonghan reacted by kissing him back and wrapping his arms around Minghao's tiny waist. 

Seungcheol tried to cover up his disappointment quickly, but Soonyoung saw his face and slowly wheeled him away from the pair as people started to cheer around them and yell about how "Jeonghan is getting laid tonight!"

"Look Seungcheol... there's something you need to understand about Jeonghan." he said softly, but his eyes were sad. 

Seungcheol blinked, confused. 

Soonyoung sighed.

"The Yoon Jeonghan you know.. he's different to the Jeonghan you're going to see tonight.." he trailed off. 

Seungcheol frowned. 

"Jeonghan has a reputation, Seungcheol. For some reason though, that reputation disappears when he's around you. Like I said before, he likes to sleep around a lot and I just... I just don't want to see you hurt." said Soonyoung. 

Seungcheol felt himself get defensive. 

"WHO SAID I LIKE JEONGHAN?"

Soonyoung rolled his eyes. 

"You've got to be crazy not to like Jeonghan. Trust me, I was once like you and he fucked me, then left." he looked angry, maybe even a little regretful. 

"But he never treated me like he treats you. For some reason... you're different, and it's just not the fact that you're in a wheelchair." 

Seungcheol's eyes glaced back at Jeonghan, who now had his hands tangled in Minghao's hair. He shuddered and looked away. 

"I'm sorry he's not the guy you thought he was, but I'll tell you this, he promised to take you home if you didn't like the party right?" asked Soonyoung kindly.

Seungcheol nodded. 

"Well, Jeonghan... _sometimes_ keeps his promises. He doesn't make a lot of promises, and the fact that he made one to you well... he must have really wanted you to come here." said Soonyoung. 

"He's just such an asshole. It's such a shame." Soonyoung said bitterly, his eyes drifting over to Jeonghan and Minghao. 

"I WANT TO STAY." Seungcheol typed angrily. He didn't need Jeonghan to have a good time. He was about to show him that he could have a good time on his own. 

Soonyoung looked shocked, but smiled. 

"Well, that's good, because I don't really want you to go and leave me to fight off horny people by myself."

They went into the house, and not once did Seungcheol look back. 

He didn't need Jeonghan or his lying ass to have a good time. 

**Jeonghan**

He was drunk. There's always that moment when you're drunk that your mind tells you that you should really stop drinking, but Jeonghan had become a pro when it came to ignoring it. 

He staggered around with Minghao in his arms, searching for a room that wasn't being occupied. He groaned as Minghao kissed his neck. 

"Hurry up and find a room." he whispered in his ear. 

"I'm trying Hao... I'm..." he trailed off as he saw a boy in a wheelchair laughing hysterically with a guy. 

_Seungcheol and Jihoon._

He dropped Minghao on the floor and ignored his shouts of complaint as he starting making his way over to the pair, his head spinning. He was pissed off. Pissed off that Jihoon had made Seungcheol laugh harder than _he_ ever had, pissed off that Seungcheol was having fun without him. 

_Was it jealousy?_

No. 

Yoon Jeonghan did not get jealous. 

He stumbled as he approached them and plastered a smirk on his face. 

"Hithereseungcheol." he slurred. _That didn't sound right._

Seungcheol frowned at him and sent Jihoon a nervous look. 

Why was he looking nervously at him? Was it something that Jihoon had told Seungcheol about him. 

"It's meeee... your Sexy Hannie." he laughed. 

Seungcheol backed away from him slightly, which made Jeonghan feel sad. 

"What's wrong? It's only-" 

"I think it's time you should leave." said Jihoon suddenly, cutting him off. 

Jeonghan laughed coldly. 

"Ooooh! The freak's got some balls!" the joke sounded better in his head. 

"Fuck off Jeonghan leave us alone. I think you've done enough damage tonight." growled Jihoon. 

Jeonghan narrowed his eyes. 

"Make me." he hissed. 

Suddenly, the room fell silent and he turned around to see all eyes on him, Jihoon, and Seungcheol.

" _Let them watch."_ his drunken conscience whispered to him. 

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Minghao making out with another guy. 

"Looks like even your boyfriend doesn't want you either." said Jihoon and that's when Jeonghan punched him.

He swore he heard Seungcheol yell something, and for a second he sobered up and looked at him worriedly. He was slightly rocking back and forth in his wheelchair and crying softly. 

"Seungcheol I-" he reached out for him but was immediately knocked over by Jihoon body slamming him to the ground. 

"Don't touch him." Jihoon hissed and Jeonghan felt his temper rise. 

He flipped Jihoon off and jumped up. People were starting to circle them. 

"Kick his ass Jeonghan!"

"Who the fuck brought the disabled dude anyway?"

"Wazzgoing on?" Mingyu stumbled out of nowhere, a tall, black haired guy wrapped around his waist.

"Get out of the way Mingyu." he hissed as he started to crack his knuckles. 

Mingyu sent him a nervous look. 

"No fighting." he said weakly, but Jeonghan shoved him aside and pounced at Jihoon, fists clenched and ready to fight. 

He thought about Minghao making out with a guy that wasn't him.

He thought about Jihoon calling him out. 

But most importantly, the thought of Seungcheol crying, and what hurt Jeonghan the most was that Seungcheol was crying because he was scared of _him_. 

His mind clouded over, and the he started beating the shit out of Jihoon. It took five people to pull him off Jihoon, and then after that, everything spun out of control as police sirens wailed in the distance. 

The last thing he remembered seeing was Seungcheol being wheeled away by Soonyoung..

Then all Hell broke loose. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol  
> it's so funny to imagine jeonghan and woozi fighting hahahahah  
> tell me what you guys think about this chapter, and what you think is going to happen in the comments!!


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, weh.. but i'll update tomorrow morning I promise.   
> and i read your comments about keeping mingyu as mingyu. ok. i will :D   
> thank you for almost 300 reads ily
> 
> ++ sorry for spelling mistakes it's literally 3:37 am kill me

**Chapter Song: Meet Me In The Hallway by Harry Styles**

**\- Track 3 on 'Songs for Jeonghan When I'm Not Talking To Him' (made by Seungcheol)**

**Jeonghan**

"Is Seungcheol in?"

It had been two days since Mingyu's party and Seungcheol had made no contact to Jeonghan. Jeonghan had called him, texted him, he had even _emailed_ him, but Seungcheol hadn't replied to anything.

Soonyoung stared at him, his face was unamused as he drummed his fingers on the counter.

"No. He called in sick."

Jeonghan slammed his fist against the counter, irritated and upset.

He had screwed up big time, and all he wanted to do was apologize to Seungcheol. He never wanted Seungcheol to see the other side of Yoon Jeonghan. He wanted him to genuinely like him for being him. 

And after listening to Seungcheol's playlist called ' _Songs for Jeonghan'_ he just had to see him.

He didn't like his life without him. 

Soonyoung sighed as he plonked a box of CD's on the counter. 

"You know, you could always call to his house." he said, his eyes shooting daggers at Jeonghan. 

He swallowed. 

"I don't think his mom is going to be too happy to see me." he mumbled, remembering the fact that she had smacked him for saying her son " _Looked good."_

Soonyoung tutted impatiently.

"Grow some balls and call to his house. The worst thing he can do is tell you he never wants to see you again."

Jeonghan groaned. 

"But that's exactly what I _don't,_ want to happen."

"Well, maybe you should have considered that before you went and fucked everything up." sighed Soonyoung. He hopped over the counter and started to stack CD's, Jeonghan on his heels. 

"But what am I supposed to say?" he grumbled. 

"How about, Hey Seungcheol! I'm so sorry that you had to see me basically suck off my boyfriend and beat the shit out of Jihoon!" 

He let his face fall into his hands.

"Please tell me he didn't see that."

"Look Jeonghan, it's time to stop acting like everything isn't your fault, because _it is._ All i'm saying is, you hurt some people a lot more than Jihoon two nights ago, and i'm not just talking about Minghao." he gave Jeonghan a knowing look. 

But he wasn't finished. 

"I know how you work Jeonghan, I've been played by you before. But I am warning you, if you are planning to play Seungcheol just like you play every one else, they you can get the fuck out. Seungcheol is different, and he doesn't need _you_ to ruin his life." 

"But what am I supposed to do?" 

"I think it's time to change you ways. Ask him out, bring him to see Spider-Man or something, but if this is going to work, you'll have to actually put _effort_ into it. You should really take a leaf out of Jihoon's book."

He took his head out of his hands and tilted his head slightly. 

"Does Jihoon like Seungcheol?" he asked, trying to sound casual. Soonyoung raised an eyebrow at him. 

"What do you mean like, have a crush on him?"

He shrugged and to his annoyance, Soonyoung laughed. 

"Don't tell me you're _jealous."_ he teased, poking Jeonghan's stomach, making Jeonghan scowl at him. 

"No! It's just that I don't think Jihoon's a good guy for him. I mean, he always has his head buried in his stupid comics-" 

"I'll have you know that those _stupid comics_ that he reads are Seungcheo's favorites." said Soonyoung, tapping the side of his nose.

Jeonghan scowled. 

"Like I'd care." he mumble, but he managed to steal one of Jihoon's comics before he left the shop and headed to Seungcheol's. 

Just in case. 

\-------------

**Jeonghan**

The way Jeonghan saw it, there were two types of nerves in the world. 

A) Good Nerves. 

B) Bad Nerves. 

For example, the last time he stood outside of Seungcheol's house, he had experienced good nerves. It was like the feeling of driving a sports car down an empty street, knowing you were breaking the speed limit, but you were so high on your good nerves, it made you giddy. He kind of felt this way when Seungcheol would laugh at his bad jokes. 

But now he was experiencing the bad nerves, the ones you feel when you know you did something wrong and you were about to be busted big for it. He was pretty sure Seungcheol's mom was not going to be impressed. 

He rang the doorbell and shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot as he waited for someone to answer. His mom answered the door (to his disappointment) and she smiled at him as she had two days ago, except this time, her eyes held a different look. The last time he had seen them, they had been bright and full of high hopes. 

Today, they looked at Jeonghan with nothing but sheer disappointment.

"Jeonghan." she said, her voice emotionless. 

"Hi Miss Choi." he said awkwardly, trying to sound polite. 

"Is Seungcheol in?" he added quickly.

His mom sighed. 

"Yes, he's in. Whether he'll be up to talking to you well..." she trailed off as she looked down the hall at a white door. 

"Come in anyway." she waved him and he stepped slowly into the hall, his palms starting to sweat.

"Wait here, alright?" Mrs.Choi said, and he nodded. She disappeared into Seungcheol's room without another word and Jeonghan couldn't help but smile at the sound of _"No Scrubs"_ blaring from his room. It was track number ten on his latest playlist he had given to him. 

He leaned against the coffee table and studied the pictures on the wall. He smiled as he saw younger Seungcheol in various different situations, but in the pictures, _he had no wheelchair._ It was a little odd, he had to admit, to see him standing, and he started to wonder how the hell he'd landed himself in a wheelchair in the first place. 

He slowly walked over to one of the pictures and examined it more closely. 

There were four people in it, he recognized Seungcheol and his mom, but there was a man in the picture with the same eyes as Seungcheol. It had to be his dad, but Jeonghan didn't recall seeing a man in this house before. 

The fourth person in the picture was a little girl, she looked a bit older than Seungcheol and she had the mom's eyes , but she had the same cute little nose that Seungcheol had. He leaned in a little closer and let his fingers touch the cool glass of the frame. 

He had definitely never heard Seungcheol talk about a sister before, or a dad, as a matter of fact. 

"It's rude to snoop you know." 

He whipped around and found Mrs.Choi giving him one of those mom smile, the ones that mom usually give you when you're eating cookies out of a jar without permission. 

"I-I'm sorry I was just-"

"I know you're curious, who wouldn't be? Seungcheol is a very interesting character sometimes."

She walked over and stood beside him, his eyes staring wistfully at the picture.

"It was a car crash, typical I know, but there were other cars on the road that day, and all the time I wonder why it had to be us." she paused, and Jeonghan nodded, indicating that he was listening. 

"The road, it was icy... there was a truck..." she trailed off inhaling sharply like the memory still haunted her. 

Jeonghan suddenly felt a sudden rush of sympathy towards the woman. He understood now. The accident had taken her husband, one of her children and left her son paralyzed from the waist down. 

She looked at him, and a subtle understanding passed between them both.

"He doesn't want to see you at the moment, but I think you were kind of guessing that." 

He nodded mutely. 

"But he did want me to give you this." she said with a small smile and Jeonghan snapped his head up like a dog after being told it's 'walk time.'

In her hand was a CD.

He swallowed and took it, his eyes reading the title.

'SONGS 4 JEONGHAN WHEN I'M NOT TALKING TO HIM.'

Despite it all, he laughed, glad that Seungcheol hadn't lost his humor because of him. 

"He'll come around eventually."

He looked up at Mrs.Choi, surprised. 

'Just give him time."

And with that, she laughed softly. 

"You know, I've never heard him talk about someone the way he talks about you."

**Seungcheol**

The minute he heard the front door slam, he let out a sigh of relief. He wasn't ready to face Jeonghan yet. Every time he thought about him, he either felt: 

A) Embarrassed 

B) Awkward 

C) He should punch the (very attractive) loser in the balls. 

He sighed as his mom knocked softly on the door before she entered. 

"He's gone." she said as she walked in and sat down on his bed. 

Seungcheol nodded and went back to reading _Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone._

"He said thank you for the new playlist." 

He didn't reply.

"He really wanted to see you."

Seungcheol huffed, put down his book and grabbed his laptop. 

"MOM. WE WENT THOROUGH THIS. I DONT WANT TO TALK _TO_ HIM OR _ABOUT_ HIM RIGHT NOW." he typed, moodily. 

"Seungcheol sweetie, I think it's time you put the past behind you and keep moving forward." his mom said softly. 

'HOW CAN I MOVE FORWARD WHEN THE PAST IS HAUNTING ME?"

"Well, look at me. A widow with a paralyzed son, working two jobs and still trying to escape the past. But I keep moving forward."

Seungcheol looked up at his mom and gave her a sad smile. 

"I KNOW. I'M SORRY FOR BEING SNAPPY."

His mom shrugged. 

"It's okay, you're just hurt. I know how it feels when someone who you think you can trust lets you down."

Seungcheol fidgeted with his sleeve. The more he thought about it, the more he felt like he wanted to talk to him. Maybe his mom was right. 

"You know, it's never too late to send him a text saying that you'll meet him in the record shop in ten minutes." his mom said slowly, holding Seungcheol's phone in her hand, a smirk on her face. 

That woman sure had high hopes sometimes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cheol + his mom <33   
> i think writing the next chapter is going to be so fun :D


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short-ish chapter... sorry :(  
> also, sorry for not uploading in the morning like I said! my sisters came to visit so i couldn't lol  
> i'll try to update again tomorrow,,, maybe. but not promises!  
> leave a comment! i love reading ur comments :D

**Chapter Song: Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne**

**\- Track 1 on 'Songs 4 Cheolie' (made by Jeonghan)**

**Jeonghan**

He had nearly killed three people on his way to the record store, two of them being old ladies who shouted profanities at him as he sped past. He didn't really care though. The only thing that mattered was getting to the record store where a boy in a wheelchair was waiting for him. 

He had Seungcheol's latest playlist (Songs 4 Jeonghan When I'm Not Talking to Him) on full blast. It was an odd set of songs, most of them about being mad at each other- which didn't really surprise him. 

He sighed as he pulled up outside the store, ' _The Best Thing (That Never Happened)_ by _We Are The In Crowd_ just finished it's last chorus. He wasn't sure what to think about it, he felt like the lyrics were directing themselves at him. 

He jumped out of his car, pressing the lock button lazily before heading into the store.

The bell tingled as he walked in, and Soonyoung was the first to notice him. He nodded his head towards the back. 

"He's back there. I think he's stacking some band called ' _Pierce the Sirens'_ or something like that." he grumbled. Jeonghan nodded and jogged to the back.

And then he saw him. 

His back was facing him and he was struggling to put a CD up on the top shelf. Chuckling to himself, he strolled over, plucked the CD out of his hand and stacked it for him. 

Seungcheol froze at his touch, but then typed slowly.

"THANKS.:

Jeonghan shrugged. 

"You looked like you needed a hand."

Seungcheol sighed.

"AND A PAIR OF LEGS THAT WORK, IF YOU HAVE ANY SPARE."

Jeonghan laughed, and then Seungcheol laughed too, the mood lightening instantly. 

He coughed nervously. 

"Listen... about the other night-"

"LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT IT."

Seungcheol's statement threw him off. He had been practicing his speech about how he was ' _sorry'_ the whole journey to the store.

"Uhm... so you don't want an apology?" he asked, just making sure. 

Seungcheol move his hair from his eyes. It made Jeonghan want to reach out and touch it. His hair looked really fluffy, like feathers or something. 

"I HAVE COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT IF WE TALKED ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED AT THE PARTY, WE WOULD BOTH JUST GET EMBARRASSED." his computer said. 

Jeonghan really loved his computer voice. 

"SO LET'S JUST PRETEND THAT IT NEVER HAPPENED." 

Jeonghan breathed a sigh of relief. So he was over it. It was kind of weird the way he got over it so quickly. Usually when he screwed up with Minghao, he would have to leave him alone for at least a week to let him to cool down. 

"I was uhmm... I was wondering if you're free tonight?" he stammered, breaking the small silence. 

Seungcheol shoved a couple of albums on to the bottom shelf and raised an eyebrow at him. 

"I WOULD LOVE TO, BUT JIHOON INVITED ME TO SEE THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN TWO TONIGHT." he typed apologetically. 

Jeonghan internally cursed the black haired idiot for ruining his night plans for him and Seungcheol. There was something about Jihoon that made him want to punch a wall, and the fact that he had a thing for Seungcheol... it just (for some unknown reason) didn't sit well with Jeonghan. 

It wasn't that he was _jealous,_ he had Minghao, didn't he? But why did the vision of Seungcheol kissing Jihoon make him more mad than the image of Minghao kissing that douche bag at the party the other night? 

He didn't want Seungcheol to kiss Jihoon. 

The thoughts of it made him want to throw up, or even worse, listen to _One Direction._

"I'M REALLY SORRY JEONGHAN." his computer voice snapped him out of his thoughts. 

He shrugged, trying to not show how much his rejection affected him. 

"It's cool. Maybe another night?" he asked. 

Seungcheol smiled at him and Jeonghan couldn't help but think about how nice Seungcheol looked when he smiled. 

"I'D REALLY LIKE THAT."

He mentally punched himself for not asking him out before Jihoon. 

Fuck it. 

**Seungcheol**

He was nervous by the time six o'clock rolled around. He was wearing black skinny jeans, a white shirt and his favorite necklace. It was simple, but he thought he looked good. 

He felt more like a fourteen year old going on his first date more than a twenty-four year old going on a night out with a really attractive guy. He was still trying to get over the fact that Jihoon had asked him out on a date. He had no idea the he had feelings for him. 

But some part of him wished that he would of asked him out tomorrow because he was missing a night of hanging out with Jeonghan. 

The thing was, he had been thrilled when Jihoon had asked him out, he was a great looking guy with floppy black hair and an eyebrow piercing , but when Jeonghan had asked him to hang out at his place... butterflies erupted in his stomach. 

He didn't even know why. Jeonghan had a boyfriend and was a big douche bag, but underneath it all, Seungcheol saw a really sweet guy with a love for R&B music. Plus, he liked skittles and popcorn. 

"Seungcheol! Jihoon is here!" his mom yelled as she banged on his bedroom door. 

Seungcheol took a deep breath. 

He really hoped his breath didn't smell like garlic. 

He had eaten garlic bread for lunch. 

**Jeonghan**

"Surprise!" he cheered as Minghao opened the door of his house. He was holding a dozen roses and a box of chocolates in his hands.

"What's this?" asked Minghao, his eyes wide and shinning. 

Alex winked at him. 

"I'm taking you out on a date to the movies to see the best movie of all time... _The Amazing Spider Man Two!"_ he said in the most cheesiest way possible.

He prayed that the neighbors wouldn't hear him. 

Minghao smiled. 

"I'd love to go! You're so sweet Jeonghan!" he cooed as he kissed Jeonghan. 

"Let me just grab my phone." he said and disappeared into his house. 

Jeonghan's fake smile disappeared and he smacked himself with the roses. 

He wondered if this was really worth it. Maybe Jihoon wouldn't try anything on Seungcheol. Maybe Jeonghan was just wasting his time. He couldn't imagine the boy in the wheelchair kissing an idiot like Jihoon, but then he thought about the party, and Seungcheol laughing hysterically at Jihoon, and Jihoon who had his hand so close to Seungcheol's...

No. 

He was definitely going to that movie theater. 

It wasn't spying. 

It was just keeping an eye on them. 

**Seungcheol**

"Do you want popcorn?" asked Jihoon kindly as he pushed Seungcheol into the movie theater.

He nodded shyly, and Jihoon smiled at him. 

"I was hoping you'd say yes. I love movie theater popcorn as too." he laughed. 

Seungcheol laughed too and they started to queue up together. 

So far, everything was going great. Jihoon had arrived on time, he had no problem with wheeling him around, he didn't even mind that they would have to sit near the front because of his disabilities. PLus, he had said that he look ' _handsome.'_

He really liked that. 

"So, are you excited? I'm secretly fangirling inside." he said, making small talk. 

Seungcheol shrugged. 

"YEAH. I'M EXCITED. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE EMMA STONE AS GWEN STACEY." he typed. 

He heard a child snigger behind him.

"Mommy, why does that boy sound like a robot?" the child giggled. 

"Jiwoo! Stop being so rude!" hissed the mom, but Seungcheol stared down at his shoes, eyes sad. 

"Hey... it's alright." whispered Jihoon softly. Seungcheol looked up and saw Jihoon smiling at him.

"Ignore it. She doesn't understand how cool you are." he said lightly. Seungcheol laughed and Jihoon winked at him.

"Oh, would you look at that! It's Seungcheol and Jihoon!" 

Seungcheol froze in his wheelchair at the sound of a very familiar voice that came from behind him. 

"Hey! Guys! Quick! Let's join the line with them..." 

"Great. Just who I wanted to see tonight." muttered Jihoon bitterly as Jeonghan came into view, his hand clutching Minghao's.

Seungcheol shifted uncomfortably in his wheelchair. 

This was bound to end badly. He felt anxiety start to build. 

"Whoa! Fancy seeing you guys here!" yelled Jeonghan as he slipped into the line beside them. 

Seungcheol felt the room temperature drop about a million degrees. 

"Seungcheol, wow, you look... amazing." Jeonghan said, looking Seugcheol up and down.

"What are you doing here Jeonghan?" snapped Jihoon, and Jeonghan raised his hands as if to surrender. 

"I'm just here to see Spiderman in action with my little ray of sunshine." he said cheerfully.

Seungcheol nearly threw up at the image of Jeonghan cupping Minghao's cheek and kissing it lightly. 

"He arrived to my house with a dozen roses and chocolates inviting me on a date. He's so cute." Minghao smiled and kissed Jeonghan's cheek. 

"More like a douche bag." said Jihoon sourly, and Seungcheol slapped his arm and sent him a warning look. 

His eyes softened as he saw Seungcheol's expression, and he sighed. 

"Sorry Jeonghan, you're not douche bag." he said, and Seungcheol squeezed his hand, which made Jihoon smile at him.

Seungcheol noticed Jeonghan staring at their interlocked fingers and he didn't look too impressed.

"It's no problem Jihoon." he said, his voice dangerously polite. He grabbed Minghao's hand in his and Minghao started to kiss his neck. 

Seungcheol looked away.

He was not about to let Yoon Jeonghan ruin his night _again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let's pretend that The Amazing spiderman 2 was released this year lol.  
> comment what you thought of this chapter, and what you think is going to happen :D


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> update!!  
> I didn't reply to any comments on the last chapter, because I didn't want to spoil anything alkdjfh
> 
> ++ i love one direction omfg i didnt mean to make them sound bad in the last chapter lol

**Seungcheol**

Unfortunately Jeonghan had insisted that they all sit together, which was fine by him, but not so much for Jihoon. Seungcheol was doing everything to make sure Jihoon enjoyed their date as much as they had planned to, but the fact that Jeonghan was gate-crashing well... it wasn't helping. 

Seungcheol sat on the outside row, Jihoon beside him, Minghao beside him and Jeonghan beside him. Seungcheol was munching happily on his popcorn when suddenly, a packet of skittles flew out of nowhere, hit him in the face, and landed in his bucket of popcorn.

"Jeonghan." growled Jihoon as he sent Jeonghan a death glare, but Seungcheol couldn't help but laugh at the skittles in his bucket. 

Of course he would remember his love for skittles and popcorn. 

It was the thing they had bonded over. 

He ripped open the packet and poured them into the popcorn bucket. 

"You eat popcorn and skittles, _together?"_ whispered Jihoon, his nose wrinkled, unimpressed. 

Seungcheol shrugged and he shuddered. 

"There's a line for savory and sweet you know. They shouldn't mix." Jihoon grumbled and he laughed quietly. 

They didn't say anything more on the topic though, because the lights went out, and the movie began to play. 

For some reason Seungcheol felt uneasy. 

**Jeonghan**

It really annoyed Jeonghan that he was so far away from Seungcheol. How was he supposed to keep an eye on him now? Jihoon's head was like the size of a watermelon, so it blocked him from his view. 

He couldn't concentrate on the movie. Not even Minghao (who was kissing his neck) could distract him. He narrowed his eyes as he saw Jihoon shift closer to Seungcheol. He was doing the lamest move in the book! What an idiot. 

But then he heard Seungcheol giggle, and he clenched his fists. 

He was using every muscle in his body to not punch that eyebrow piercing wearing, marvel loving douche. 

"Jeonghan... how about after this we... have a little fun in your apartment?" whispered Minghao sexily into his ear. As tempting as it sounded, for some reason Jeonghan wasn't in the mood. 

"Uhmmm.... we'll see." he said and Minghao frowned at him. He had never really denied Minghao sex. 

Suddenly, Seungcheol let out another small giggle, and Jeonghan knew it definitely wasn't the movie that was making him giggle like that. 

"I need to uhmm... I need to pee." he mumbled quickly to Minghao.

"Okay." Minghao said as Jeonghan started to stumble his way through the row, his popcorn bucked in his hand. 

It was unfortunate that he was going to have to _accidentally_ trip and spill a bucket of perfectly good popcorn all over a loser like Jihoon. 

"Whoops!" he yelled as he ' _tripped'_ and spilled his popcorn all over the dark haired man. 

"You idiot!" Jihoon hissed as he stared down at the greasy mess all over him.

"What are you? Disabled?" he yelled, and suddenly things got very silent. 

Jeonghan's eyes flickered over to Seungcheol, who was staring at Jihoon, his face shocked.

Suddenly, Jihoon seemed to realize the mistake he had just made. 

Kind of like a criminal who had just realized that stealing was a crime.

"Oh shit... Seungcheol... I didn't-"

"What did you just say?" growled Jeonghan, grabbing Jihoon's t-shirt and scrunching it up in his hands. 

"I-"

"HOW DARE YOU!" he roared. A little kid started to cry somewhere in the back rows of the theater. 

"Sir! Would you please calm down?" asked a middle-aged woman two rows behind. 

"Make me!" he snarled back, and the woman fell silent. 

He turned his attention back to Jihoon. 

"You're a worthless piece of shit , Jihoon." he said, his every word trembling with anger. 

"I didn't mean it!" yelled Jihoon. 

Jeonghan lifted him up a little higher. 

"Apologize to Seungcheol!" he yelled.

Someone in the back row cheered. 

"But I didn't mean it! S-Seungcheol understands! Right Seung-"

"APOLOGIZE OR I'LL KICK YOUR ASS!"

Jihoon swallowed and turned his head to Seungcheol, who was sitting very still in his wheelchair, his eyes wide. 

"I'm sorry Seungcheol." he chocked out, and Jeonghan nodded, satisfied. He threw Jihoon back into his sweat and strolled over to Seungcheol.

"Do you want me to walk you home?" he asked quietly.

Seungcheol nodded and Jeonghan took his wheelchair in his hands and started to push.

"WHAT ABOUT MINGHAO?" his computer voice made Jeonghan smile.

"He'll be alright." 

They didn't say another word, and on the way out, a little kid stopped him and asked if he was a real angel. 

**Seungcheol**

Seungcheol was in a state of shock as Jeonghan wheeled him out of the movie theater and started heading towards his house. He was still trying to process what had just happened. First of all, Jihoon had insulted him, second of all, Jeonghan had caused a scene in the movie theater, third of all, he was pretty sure Jihoon was never going to ask him out again, (not that he really wanted him to though.)

The air was cold, he was shivering, and it wasn't long before Jeonghan noticed.

"Crap, I forgot you're only in a t-shirt." he mumbled as he stopped and started to take off his jacket. He placed it on Seungcheol's lap without another word and began to push him again.

"WHAT ABOUT YOU? WON'T YOU BE COLD?" he typed, feeling the warmth of his jacket seep into his body. 

"I'm just hot stuff, so the cold doesn't really bother me." he said, and Seungcheol snorted. 

"YOU SOUND LIKE AN IDIOT." 

"Shut up. I'm great. I could tell you at least fifty random facts about Space." 

"GO AHEAD." 

"Is that a challenge?"

"YEP."

"Well, firstly, did you know that Mars is the biggest planet in Space?"

"I THOUGHT JUPITER WAS?"

"Fuck."

Seungcheol laughed as they turned the corner into his estate. As they approached his house, Seungcheol typed a question that had been on his mind ever since they left the movie theater. 

"WHY DID YOU ATTACK JIHOON LIKE THAT?" he typed slowly.

He heard Jeonghan let out a sigh. 

"I did it because he hurt you."

Seungcheol frowned. 

"BUT WHY DID YOU HURT HIM BECAUSE HE HURT ME? WHY DIDN'T YOU LET IT PASS?"

They rolled up to his front door, and Jeonghan leaned lazily against the porch. He looked really attractive tonight, more attractive than usual. Seungcheol liked the fact that he always wore those light-washed jeans with holes in the knees. 

"I care about you." he said quietly, and before Seungcheol could reply, his mom opened the door, and Jeonghan nodded silently, then disappeared down his front garden. 

And then Seungcheol was left with the feeling of relief that Jeonghan had gate-crashed his date with Jihoon. 

_Thank God._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, it's so funny to imagine jeonghan fighting woozi lol  
> tell what you thought of this chapter!! did your feeling change towards woozi? yes, no, maybe,so???  
> tell me in the comments lol i rlly do love reading your comments <3


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dont know if anyone is going to read this but...   
> I'm back!! sorry for being gone I needed a little time off, kinda.   
> but i'm back now and back with a short ass chapter. sorry 
> 
> ++my twitter is @vernonsteeth if you want to follow me   
> ill be giving updates on there

**Chapter song: Kiss Me by Ed Sheeran**

**\- Track 15 on 'Songs That Make Me Think Of You'**

**(made by Seungcheol)**

**Seungcheol**

On Saturday, Jeonghan texted him to ask if he was doing anything. He had typed back a quick _no_ and about ten minutes later he was sitting in Jeonghan's apartment, Usher blaring, and Mingyu driving Jeonghan insane by bouncing around like a little kid. 

"Mingyu! Would you ever just sit still?" groaned Jeonghan as Mingyu hopped by on an old pogo stick. 

"Only if yo can catch me!" he yelled, and Seungcheol laughed at the sight of the tall, handsome man bouncing around on a pogo stick. 

"And this is why I don't invite you around to my house." grumbled Jeonghan as he jumped up and started to chase after the bouncing giant. 

"You'll never catch me babe!" he yelled, and Jeonghan groaned again. 

"Why are you so annoying?"

They started to chase each other, Jeonghan eventually pouncing on Mingyu, making them both crash to the ground. 

"Take that, you giant fucker!" cheered Jeonghan as he punched his hand triumphantly into the air. 

"TEN POINTS TO SLYTHERIN." Seungcheol typed, and Jeonghan winked at him. 

"I'd slyther in-" started Mingyu, but Jeonghan flicked his head. 

"Ya! No dirty talking in this apartment!" he scolded. 

"But there's plenty of it when Minghao's over-" 

"Shut up!" yelled Jeonghan as his cheeks turned bright pink. 

Seungcheol didn't really know what to say, so he remained silent and went back to work on a new playlist he was making for Jeonghan. 

He really like making playlists for Jeonghan, mainly because every time he made one for him, Jeonghan's face would light up, and also, he _actually_ listened to them. Sometimes, he'd complain about the lack of _R &B _songs on his playlists, but then Seungcheol would retaliate by complaining about the lack of pop songs on his. 

But still, the'd both listen to each others playlists a numerous amount of times, no matter how many songs were put on them. 

Jeonghan still hadn't figured out that Seungcheol's playlists had double meanings, thought he didn't really expect him to, but there was a tiny part of him that hoped he would. 

He sighed as he added _'Kiss Me'_ by Ed Sheeran to the playlist. Maybe he'd take the hint from this song. 

"What you working on there?"

He yelped and nearly dropped his laptop on to the floor, which made Jeonghan laugh and Seungcheol fold his arms, unimpressed that he had managed to scare him. 

"Oh, you're working on a new playlist!" he said excitedly, resting his chin on Seungcheol's shoulder and watching the screen. 

Seungcheol snapped it shut and he groaned. 

"That's not fair!" he complained and Seungcheol rolled his eyes at him. 

"YOU WON'T BE SURPRISED IF I SHOW YOU THE PLAYLIST NOW." 

"Sure I will. I'll just pretend." Jeonghan said, looking at the laptop with a smile. 

"GET LOST YOON JEONGHAN." 

"Your computer voice is still sexy, even when you're telling me to get lost." he said and Seungcheol gave him the middle finger. 

"Well that's not very nice!" he huffed. 

He was smirking though, so Seungcheol didn't think he took it very personally. 

**Jeonghan**

Mingyu left around eleven, leaving him alone with Seungcheol, which was _definitely_ fine by him. He had sort of wanted a little down time with the boy in the wheelchair. It had seemed like ages since they had spent time with each other, _alone._

He was sitting on the couch, Seungcheol was sitting in his wheelchair near the couch, Batman was playing.

Everything felt good. 

Seungcheol seemed to really like the movie (thank God), so Jeonghan took it as another opportunity to stare at Seungcheol.

He was wearing loose jeans tonight and a baggy shirt. His black hair laid prettily on his head, and his large circle eyeglasses were sitting on the tiny bridge of his nose. He smelled really good. Mint and cologne. He wondered what his lips tasted like... 

He mentally kicked himself in the ass. _What was he doing?_ For the hundredth time since he met Seungcheol, he had to remind himself that he had a _boyfriend._ But hanging out with Seungcheol usually made him forget about Minghao. 

He suddenly got an idea. 

"Uhmmm.. hey Seungcheol.." he asked slowly.

"Mmmm?" Seungcheol mumbled, not taking his eyes away from Batman. 

_God, that was so cute how into he got._

"Do you... do you want to uhmm... sit on the couch with me?" he asked awkwardly.

That got his attention. Seungcheol turned to look at Jeonghan, his eyebrow raised as if to say _you're not serious, are you?_

But Jeonghan was dead serious, and when Seungcheol realized that he _was_ being serious, he bit his lip and started to fidget with his hands. 

"You...you don't have to... I mean.. only if .. gahhh..." he trailed off, his gift for using the right words seeming to fail him at the moment. Only Seungcheol could do this to him. 

But then he surprised Jeonghan, he nodded slowly, his eyes shining. 

Jeonghan scrambled off the couch almost immediately and started to work on lifting him out of his wheelchair. 

"Okay so uhm.. do you want me to lift you by the waist or under your arms?" he mumbled. His face felt hot. 

Seungcheol laughed and pointed at his waist, and Jeonghan nodded. 

He wrapped his arms around his waist and slowly lifted him up, careful not to hurt him too much. Jeonghan had expected him to be slightly heavy due to the fact that he could never do any exercise, but on the contrary, he was surprising light. 

Not as light as a feather, mind you, he still had a bit of weight to carry, but Jeonghan really didn't mind at all. 

They fell back on to the couch, both of them slightly tangled in each other. Jeonghan placed Seungcheol on his lap, and Seungcheol curled his upper body into him as Jeonghan lifted his legs on to the couch for him.

"Well that was hard." he breathed as he brushed Seungcheol's hair away from his eyes. 

Seungcheol laughed and rested his head back into the crook of Jeonghan's neck, averting his eyes back to Batman. 

Seungcheol was warm, he smelled good, he was in his lap, and his head felt dizzy from the amount of Seungcheol he was experiencing right now. Jeonghan could feel Seungcheol's hot breath on his neck. 

He wanted to kiss him so bad. 

**Seungcheol**

He was sitting in his lap. 

_He was sitting in his lap._

He was high on giddiness and skittles. Jeonghan's skin was really soft. He hooped Jeonghan didn't min him breathing on his neck. 

_His neck._

He had a really nice tattoo on his neck, an outline of a rose. Seungcheol wondered if Jeonghan would be creeped out if he started to trace it with his fingers.

He wanted to kiss him so bad. 

**Jeonghan**

He had started to trace his rose tattoo on his neck. Jeonghan wanted Seungcheol to trace every part of him right now. 

His touch was soft, unlike Minghao's, which was always rough. 

The credits to Batman had started to roll on the screen, but neither of them moved (not that Seungcheol really could, which was fine by Jeonghan.)

"Seungcheol..." he whispered quietly,

Seungcheol looked up at him, his fingers freezing on his neck.

"I... uhmmmm..." he was lost for words. He would probably ruin this moment if he said anything now. 

Seungcheol tilted his head at him and smiled, then he dug his hand into the pocket of his jeans. He pulled out his cellphone with a pair of earphones stick into it. 

They didn't have to say anything.

The music would do it for them. 

**Seungcheol**

He was so tired, but he didn't want to sleep. He was enjoying Jeonghan's company too much.

He felt his eyes his eyes close slowly, as Ed Sheeran's ' _Kiss Me'_ came on.

He was so tired, and he couldn't help but fall asleep. 

**Jeonghan**

He was so tired. Seungcheol had fallen asleep in his arms.

Some song by Ed Sheeran was playing. 

_And your heart's against my chest._

_Your lips pressed to my neck._

_I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet._

_And this feeling i'll forget._

_I'm in love now._


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry.

**Chapter Song: From The Dining Table**

**\- Track 3 on 'Harry Styles' (made by Jeonghan)**

**Seungcheol**

"You slept with Jeonghan?!" 

"YES. NO. MAYBE. WE DIDN'T HAVE SEX."

"Hold up, pause, rewind. You guys slept with each other?"

"NOT REALLY. IT'S MORE LIKE I SLEPT _ON_ HIM."

"Wait what?"

"CAN WE NOT TALK ABOUT THIS NOW SOONYOUNG?"

"Sorry. I'm just fascinated over the fact that Yoon Jeonghan slept with somebody, but didn't have sex first."

Seungcheol rolled his eyes and wheeled himself over to the ' _Nirvana'_ section. He had to admit, he was excited to see Jeonghan today after the other night's events. He wondered if Jeonghan would play it cool or would he come in and lift him out of his wheelchair and spin him him around? 

His mind flashed back to the feeling of his arms wrapped around his waist. 

_He felt like a horny teenager._

_Jesus._

Suddenly, the door of the store swung open and Seungcheol wheeled around, his heart pounding and butterflies fluttering in his stomach. 

But they disappeared as soon as they came, and Seungcheol felt his good mood evaporate as he saw the person step into the shop. 

It wasn't Jeonghan. 

It was a tall and skinny looking man with a fierce look in his eyes and a full black suit on. 

"Oh fuck." Soonyoung mumbled as he dropped his box of CD's, his eyes full of panic. 

Seungcheol looked at his white-haired friend worriedly. Soonyoung never freaked out. 

Something bad was about to happen. 

"The inspector... the Boss usually _warns_ me a week in advance before he comes... the fucker is probably unconscious in the back room from all the weed he's been smoking...shit..." suddenly Soonyoung turned to face Seungcheol. 

"He's going to ask about you. Fuck! I can't afford to have you fired... he'll see your disabilities..." 

Seungcheol had never seen Soonyoung in such a mess. It looked like he was a bout to cry. He didn't even know how he was going to be able to help. 

"Kwon Soonyoung, how pleasant it is to see you again." said a voice that made Seungcheol at how low and cold it sounded. 

Soonyoung winced. 

"Mr. Jeon... how nice to uhm... see you again." said Soonyoung, his voice nervous.

The man narrowed his eyes at him. 

"Still got a nose ring I see. Tut, tut, didn't I tell you that nose rings are against the uniform code the last time I came her?" he asked. 

Soonyoung nodded mutely and the man sighed. 

"And how about Jihoon, eh? Is he still around?" he asked, and Soonyoung shrugged. 

"He hasn't showed up to work in days." he said, and Seungcheol swallowed.

Jihoon hadn't shown up to work ever since their little ' _date incident.'_

"Hmmm... I'll have to look into that..." the man trailed off, his brown eyes landing on Seungcheol. 

"And who's this? A new employee?" Mr. Jeon inquired, his voice sour. 

Suddenly, Soonyoung stepped in front of Seungcheol, as if to shield him from the man's stare. 

"Is Jinseok hiring disabled people now? This place has been so... _disappointing_ ever since I've stepped in." Mr. Jeon sighed and gave Seungcheol the beady eyes. 

Seungcheol felt his blood start to boil. 

How dare that man call him out like that. Seungcheol knew what he was, but the fact that the man thought he he was stupid...well... he had a couple of things to say to him. 

He started to type angrily into his laptop, but Soonyoung snapped it shut and gave him a warning look. Seungcheol felt outraged. He was not about to let some dude in a black suit tell him what he was.

"Seungcheol, let it go." whispered Soonyoung as Mr. Jeon disappeared into the back room.

Seungcheol huffed and opened up his laptop. 

"THAT SON OF A-"

"Seungcheol... I think this place is about to get shut down." 

He stared at Soonyoung blankly. 

_No._

The shop _couldn't_ get shut down. He couldn't imagine his life without the old record shop in it. The fact that he wouldn't be stacking CD's ever again was too much for him to handle. 

"Seungcheol.. you need to go and get Jeonghan."

\--

**Seungcheol**

He wheeled as fast as he could to Jeonghan's apartment block. The usual twenty minute stroll (or wheel) had taken him only fifteen minutes, most of the journey being downhill, thank god.

He tapped the arm rest of his wheelchair impatiently as he waited for the elevator. His anxiety was starting to build up. 

But Jeonghan would fix everything. He always did. 

The elevator door pinged open and he wheeled in, quickly pressed the level three times and slipped up to the floor in no time. 

When it stopped, he wheeled out and wheeled quickly to the outside of room seventeen. He knocked three times and sat back in his wheelchair. 

There was no reply after about four minutes and Seungcheol started to get anxious.

_Was he out?_

_Maybe Mingyu was just being an ass again and was stopping Jeonghan from opening the door..._

He was about to knock again, but the door swung open and in the doorway stood a shirtless Jeonghan with hickeys all over his chest. 

"What do you want?" he snapped, his voice rude. Seungcheol swallowed up his shock and started to typed. 

"JEONGHAN YOU NEED TO COME TO THE RECORD STORE QUICK. IT'S AN EMERGENCY." he typed quickly.

Jeonghan rolled his eyes at him.

"Look, I'm kind of busy. Can you just call back later?" he grumbled. 

Seungcheol felt his blood start to boil. _Why was he being so rude?_ Could he not see that this was important. 

"DID YOU NOT HEAR ME? I SAID THERE'S AN EMERGENCY." he typed angrily.

"Look, first of all, you didn't _say_ anything, you can't talk, remember? Secondly, as I said before, I'm busy, so I'd appreciate it if you please go away." he snapped, then he slammed the door in his face. 

It was then that Seungcheol started to cry for the second time because of Jeonghan. His bitter words had really taken his toll on him this time.

Then he wheeled away as fast as he could away from the door. 

First the record shop, now Jeonghan. 

He was going to lose everything he had grown to love, all in one day. 


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Chapter Song: Apologize by One Republic**

**\- Track 7 on 'Songs 4 Jeonghan When I'm Not Talking To Him'**

**(made by Seungcheol)**

**Seungcheol**

By the time he had wheeled back to the record store, it was all over. 

Soonyoung was standing outside, tears streaming down his face, clutching a piece of paper saying that the record store was officially unsafe to work in and was therefore to be shut down. 

They cried together. 

\---

**Jeonghan**

He was on his way to the record store, whistling to ' _All The Small Things'_ and clutching a new playlist for Seungcheol in his hand. He felt bad about the way he had treated him the other day at his apartment door. He had just been a little preoccupied at the time, and the fact that he had showed up had sort of thrown him off. 

He was still confused about what had happened between them the other night. But after spending the day with Minghao, he knew he was ready to tell Seungcheol that the other night had been a mistake, and then he'd be totally cool with it as he always was with these things. 

He smiled as he reached the entrance of the store, but then his smile disappeared as he looked at the store properly. 

It was boarded up, a notice was pinned on the front of it. 

**This store has been shut down due to health issues**

He stared at the sign, his mind not wanting to believe what the writing was telling him.

"You're a little late." 

He whipped around and saw Soonyoung, a cigar hanging from his mouth. He was leaning against the far side of the boarded up store. 

"What happened?" he demanded. 

The white-haired boy narrowed his eyes at him. 

"What happened?" Jeonghan repeated, holding his stare. 

Soonyoung laughed bitterly. 

"What happened? What happened was _you_ weren't here when we needed you most." he scoffed. He puffed on his cigar as Jeonghan stared blankly at him.

"I don't understand." Jeonghan said, sounding incredibly stupid. 

That's when Soonyoung lost it. He marched over to Jeonghan and stood in front of him, both of them now face to face, his eyes blazing.

"You are a little fucker Yoon Jeonghan, you know that? How dare you.. how _dare you._ You just had to pick yesterday to be the douche bad Jeonghan that everyone knows, that everyone is used to! Did you even consider what you were saying to Seungcheol when he came knocking on your doorbell yesterday?" he yelled, anger trembling in every syllable of his words. 

"That fucking inspector came into the shop yesterday, and you didn't bother your ass to help out! And in the process you smashed Seungcheol into a million pieces! Jesus Jeonghan, this is all your fault!" 

Jeonghan stared down at his shoes. Yes, he has said some nasty words to the boy in a wheelchair yesterday, and he had been _preoccupied._

"You see? You didn't! All you could think about was fucking your boyfriend who was in your bedroom with all of his clothes off. But is anything new? I mean... I was once like Minghao." he said through gritted teeth. 

Soonyoung took a deep breath.

"You can mess with me, Yoon Jeonghan, you can mess with Minghao, but you are _not_ allowed to mess with Choi Seungcheol, because he deserves so much more than you could _ever_ give him." he said, his voice cool and collected. 

He the stub of his cigar on the ground and stamped it out, the ashes spreading all over his tan shoes. He started to walk away, leaving Jeonghan alone, but before he could disappear around the corner, he stopped and turned around. 

"And this time, I don't suggest you call up to his house and beg him for an apology. You should just keep you and your tiny dick away from Seungcheol for good." he growled. Then he turned on his heels and disappeared. 

Jeonghan let himself fall against the abandoned and broken record store. He punched it angrily with his fist. 

"Fuck it anyway!" he yelled, pain filling his chest, his world starting to fall apart like a house in a hurricane. He pressed his head against the window, hot angry tears swelling up in his eyes. 

_Don't cry._

_Don't cry._

_Don't cry._

But it was too late. 

For the first time in nearly sixteen years, he was crying. 

And it was all because of a boy in a wheelchair. 

**Seungcheol**

"Cheol, baby, Jeonghan is here." 

He straightened his back up against his wheelchair, earphones falling out of his ears as he stared at his mom in disbelief. 

"He says he wants to talk to you." his mom sighed. 

He shook his head.

No. 

He didn't want to see that wretched man ever again, even if he did have a perfect face, and hair, and a great music taste, and bad joke that made him laugh. 

But his word were still haunting him, and seeing his face just wasn't enough to beat out the angry words he had said to her. 

"He said he has a new playlist for you." his mom said slowly. 

He shook his head again. He didn't want his playlist anymore. All they did was make him think of Jeonghan, and then he'd start crying because he missed him and then he wouldn't stop crying because he still didn't understand why Jeonghan had been such an asshole to him, and then he would cry all night because he would end up listening to his playlist all over again. 

"Do you want me to give him your playlist?" asked his mom quietly, her eyes sad. 

Seungcheol's eyes drifted over to the small stack of playlists that were piled on his desk, just waiting to be listened to, but he just couldn't bring himself to let his mom give them to him. The songs were too deep, too much, and they were all for a man who just didn't understand. 

"It wouldn't hurt you know. It uhmmm... it looks like he's been crying."

That shocked Seungcheol. _Jeonghan? Crying?_ The whole image of him curling up in a ball and crying his sweet, innocent brown eyes was enough to make him want to cry too. 

"You better hurry up with your answer, Cheolie. Jihoon's due to come over any minute to take you out to the park, and I don't think he'll be too impressed if he sees Jeonghan at the door." his mom said quickly interrupting his trail of thoughts. 

Slowly, Seungcheol wheeled over to his desk and grabbed the pile of playlists. 

His mom took them silently, but before she disappeared out the door, she said "I think he was crying over you Cheol." 

"I think he's hoping that you'll give him one more chance." 

Seungcheol couldn't quite meet her gaze. He started to fidget with his fingers. 

"I'll tell him that you don't want to see him right now. That he should give you space." she sighed, and then she left. 

Then Seungcheol started to cry again. He plugged in his earphones just as _I Miss You_ by Blink-182 came on.

Track number seven on ' _Sad Songs For A Bad Day'_ that he gave him only a week ago. 


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Chapter Song: No Control by One Direction**

**\- Track 14 on 'Song You Love And I Hate, But I Listen To Them Anyway Because It Makes You Happy' (made by Jeonghan)**

**Jeonghan**

He was definitely at an all time low as he walked down the street on his was home from the pizza place, two large boxes full of pepperoni pizza in his arms. He had called Minghao and had asked if he wanted to have a pizza night, but he said he was busy, so he ended up asking Mingyu instead. 

He sighed as he walked down the street, the only thing around being the street lights that were flickering on and off. The air was cold, and he had wished he had brought his jacket, then he remembered that Seungcheol still had his jacket, which made him sad again. 

He had ended up calling to his house earlier on, but his mom had said that he ' _didn't want to see him right now.'_

But on the bright side, Seungcheol's mom had given him at least four CD's full of songs carefully picked and burned on a disk by Seungcheol himself. It surprised him that Seungcheol was still making playlists for him, but the fact that he still _was_ made his insides flutter, which was a weird and abnormal feeling for him.

But only Seungcheol could have this effect on him. 

_Seungcheol._

Seungcheol's name was enough to bring back the memories of his hot breath on Jeonghan's neck, and how nice it was to hold him in his arms. He was all curves, unlike Minghao who was more bony, and Minghao's skin was sort of rough, whereas Seungcheol's skin was smooth like chocolate. 

You could never go wrong with chocolate. 

He sighed and pinched his eyes shut, trying to compose himself. He had no idea why the boy in a wheelchair was making him feel this way. 

It didn't matter anyway, but by the looks of it, Seungcheol was never going to talk to him again. The thought of never seeing him again made him wonder if his life was worth living anymore. 

A life without Seungcheol would be a life that's black and white, a life that would be empty. 

He turned the corner, deep in thought, when suddenly he spotted two people standing outside the park, one of them kinda short and buff with jet black hair, the other person in a wheelchair. 

He froze. 

_Seungcheol and Jihoon._

And by the looks of it, Jihoon was yelling at him. 

Jeonghan dropped the pizza boxes and started to sprint towards the couple, his heart pounding in his chest. 

"Look what you did, you idiot! These are my new jeans and all! I have a gig to go after this!" yelled Jihoon angrily. 

Jeonghan saw Seungcheol shrink back into his chair. 

"I know you're disabled, but why are you acting so fucking retarded?" he yelled. Suddenly, he bent down and smacked Seungcheol hard on the face. He screamed out, and that's when Jeonghan pounced. 

**WHAM!**

Jihoon didn't even see it coming. He fell to the ground like a sack of potatoes and he cursed when he saw Jeonghan's face. 

Jeonghan threw a punch at his jaw. 

"HOW. FUCKING. DARE. YOU!" he roared, punching the black haired man in face repeatedly 

"HOW DARE YOU SLAP, OR EVEN _TOUCH_ SEUNGCHEOL." 

**WHACK!**

Another punch in the face for Jihoon. 

He jumped up, grabbing Jihoon roughly and slamming him against the fence of the park. He leaned in, nose to nose with the little fucker, his whole body shaking in anger. 

"Don't you ever go near him again." he hissed. Jihoon winced as he touched his nose. It was bleeding. 

"You ruined everything." snarled Jihoon, and Jeonghan slammed him against the fence again. 

"Did I fucking ask you to speak?" he growled , and JIhoon fell silent. 

"If you ever make an attempt to see or even _think_ about Seungcheol ever again, it'll be more that a bloody nose you'll be getting. Are we clear?" he threatened, venom in his voice. 

Jihoon nodded weakly and Jeonghan flung him on to the ground. He scrambled away and disappeared into the blackness of the night.

Jeonghan exhaled loudly, the whole episode had drained out a lot out of him. He was exhausted. 

It was then that he heard the whimpering. 

_Seungcheol._

Shit. 

He turned around and quickly saw him, pale and slightly shaking, his face hidden behind his hands. 

"Seungcheol. he said softly, kneeling down in front of him. He reached out and touched his fingers that were shielding his face, but he jerked away at his touch. 

Jeonghan sighed. 

"Seungcheol, it's okay now. It's only me." he said smoothly, reaching out again in an attempt to pride his fingers off of his face. 

As his fingers brushed off his, he froze, but Jeonghan didn't stop. Slowly, he started to remove his fingers from his face to reveal the boy with the big brown eyes and the large circle glasses. 

When he finally got his hands away from his face, he realized Seungcheol's eyes were pinched shut. 

"Seungcheol, it's okay now. Jihoon is never going to go near you ever again." he whispered, and it was then that he heard him speak for the very first time. 

"H-H-How d-do I-I k-know- t-that y-y-you w-won't h-h-hurt m-me." he stammered, his words a jumbled, his stutter extremely bad. 

But Jeonghan didn't care. 

His voice was like music to his ears. His voice was deep, and different from what he thought it would sound like, but he still thought about how amazing it sounded. 

Seungcheol had never spoken to him.

Jeonghan leaned into him and pressed his forehead against his. 

"I promise that I will never hurt you." he said quietly. 

Little did he know that would be the seconds broken promise he would make to him. 

\---

**Jeonghan**

"Oh my god Seungcheol, what happened to you?" gasped Mrs. Choi as she opened the door to them.

Jeonghan felt a wave of anger wash over him as he looked at the red mark that Jihoon had left on Seungcheol's face. The fucker should have went to jail for what he did. 

"Mrs. Choi, you son is safe now, I assure you." he said quickly. She shot him a curious look. 

"Jeonghan?" she asked, only seeming to realize that he was with Seungcheol, and not Jihoon. 

"It's uhmmm.... it's not my story to tell." he mumbled awkwardly, shoving his hands into the pockets of his pants. He watched as Seungcheol wheeled into his house and into his bedroom, leaving him and his mom alone. 

Suddenly, Mrs. Choi reached out and hugged him, and Jeonghan flt himself stiffen up. _Just when it couldn't have gotten anymore awkward._

"Thank you. I don't know what the heck you did, but somehow you managed to save my son from that piece of crap." she said. Jeonghan laughed nervously and patted the woman's back. 

She pulled away and Jeonghan swore he saw he saw tear in her eyes. 

"He really likes you a lot you know. Ever since you guys had that argument, all he;s been doing is locking himself up in his room and listening to the music that are on your playlists while crying." she sniffled. 

He nodded, not quite sure what to say, then he muttered a quick 'goodnight' before turning away and heading back into his apartment. 

It only struck him later that he had been doing the exact same thing with Seungcheol's playlists in his apartment ever since they argued, and the sad thing was;

He was sure he had cried himself to sleep while listening to more than Seungcheol had. 


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gave jeonghan a dog :D

**Chapter Song: Absolutely Smitten by Dodie**

**\- Track 7 on 'Songs Not To Show Seungcheol' (made by Jeonghan)**

**Seungcheol**

He knew that after the ' _Jihoon Incident'_ that Jeonghan was sure to call around before the week was out, but it turned out out that Jeonghan could only keep himself away for _three days._ So when Seungcheol found himself in Jeonghan's apartment, he wasn't quite sure what to feel. It was like someone had placed an invisible barrier between them. 

"Do you... uhh.. do you want a skittle?" Jeonghan asked, breaking the silence that they had been currently sitting in. 

He shook his head, and Jeonghan sighed, placing the bowl on his battered coffee table. The clatter of the bowl hitting the table made Buzz (Jeonghan's dog) look up from where he was napping. He shot his owner an alarmed look. 

"Look, I know you probably don't want to talk about... about what _happened,_ and I completely understand that. But is there a reason why you're acting so...so... _blehhh?"_ he asked, one of his perfect eyebrows raised. 

Seungcheol wondered for a brief moment if Jeonghan shaped his eyebrows himself. 

" _Seungcheol."_ Jeonghan said, realizing that Seungcheol was spacing out on him. 

He started to type into his laptop. 

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M ACTING SO _BLEHHH_?" 

Jeonghan ran his hand through his hair, which was _incredibly_ hot and distracting for Seungcheol. 

_Damn it._

"Can't we just go back to being the normal Seungcheol and Jeonghan?" he asked, and Seungcheol laughed. 

"THE NORMAL SEUNGCHEOL AND JEONGHAN?" he typed quizzically. 

Jeonghan groaned. 

"You know what I mean... I just want you to stop acting like you're mad at me." 

Seungcheol frowned. 

"BUT I _AM_ MAD AT YOU." 

"Well then, what will made you stop being mad?" 

He furrowed his eyebrows in thought. Truthfully, he wasn't _that_ mad at him. He never really _could_ stay mad at him, but this was an opportunity to mess with Jeonghan and make him do anything he wanted him to. 

"FINE." he typed mischievously. 

"I WANT YOU TO LISTEN TO ALL FIVE OF THE ONE DIRECTION ALBUMS WITH ME." 

Jeonghan groaned. 

"No! Please! Have mercy!" he begged, falling to his knees in front of Seungcheol. Buzz let out a small bark of concern. 

"I'd rather listen to Metro Station! Please!" 

Seungcheol laughed at the sight of Jeonghan on his knees begging him for mercy. He started to shake his head and Jeonghan puffed out his cheeks like a little kid. 

"At least let me get more popcorn and skittles." he said sulkily, but Seungcheol was pretty sure he was pleased that he was making him happy.

Slowly, he started to feel the barrier disappear, and the old Seungcheol and Jeonghan returning. He was glad.

He had missed _them_ as much he had. 

-

**Seungcheol**

Five One Direction albums later, they were both on the couch, Jeonghan lying with his head rested on a pillow, Seungcheol sitting comfortably beside him, playing with little tufts of his hair on his fingers. Jeonghan had really pretty eyelashes,. You didn't really notice them much when you were far away, but up close, they were hard to miss. 

"Choi Seungcheol, you are an awesome guy." Jeonghan said suddenly, smiling up Seungcheol.

He rolled his eyes at him, indicating that he was unimpressed. 

Jeonghan had opened a bottle of wine and was currently half way through it, and it was only ten minutes to midnight. 

He continued his speech though. 

"No seriously. I don't know where to start or where to finish with you..." he trailed off and Seungcheol raised an eyebrow at him, his eyes asking for him to go on. 

Jeonghan took a deep breath.

"Most people will look at you and see you as the boy in the wheelchair, which is true, but there is so much more to you than that. I mean, I look at you and see Seungcheol, the ordinary guy, that manages to be extraordinary. Like, does anybody ever properly look at you? When I look at you, I don't want to stop looking at you. Your big, beautiful brown eyes, your circle glasses, your soft black hair, your cute nose, your cute smile." he pause, seeming to sober from his drunken words for a second. 

"I know that I have a boyfriend and I know that Soonyoung warned you about all the bullshit that can come out of my mouth, but Choi Seungcheol you have made me feel like a man that has been caught in the rain. You have made me feel less cynical towards everything, and I just..." he trailed off and sighed. 

_Go on._

_Please go on._

Seungcheol looked down at him, and Jeonghan looked up at him and then there was silence between them again, but the idiot wouldn't stop staring at him, and Seungcheol couldn't stop staring at him.

**Jeonghan**

When Seungcheol was nervous, his eyes would grow a little wider, and he's start fidgeting with something to try to distract himself. 

**Seungcheol**

When Jeonghan smiled he always showed his cute teeth. 

**Jeonghan**

The feeling was back. The feeling he had felt when Seungcheol was in his lap a couple of nights ago. Slowly, he felt himself sit up and lean in closer to him. He pushed his bangs away from his eyes. 

"I know I have a boyfriend, and I know that I really like my boyfriend, but I want you to forget about all that right now." he whispered. 

Seungcheol blinked at him, and he went on.

"You're not even cute." he breathed, leaning in closer. 

"You're handsome. So damn handsome."

Jeonghan was so close that he could probably count all his pretty eyelashes. He had pretty eyelashes. He felt his eyes flutter shut as he leaned in and pressed his lips to Seungcheol's. 

**Seungcheol**

The thing about kissing was that you actually had to _move_ your lips when they touched some else's (this was news to him. He was pretty sure when Rose kissed Jack in Titanic, he didn't kiss back at first, although, the dude had _froze_ to death, come to think of it.)

Kissing was hard work. Maybe it would have helped if he had experienced first when he was fourteen rather than twenty-five. 

But Jeonghan seemed to know what to do, and he was doing his best to help Seungcheol out (or at least he thought he was.)

He tasted nice. 

He tasted like Christmas.

If that was even a thing. 

**Jeonghan**

Kissing Seungcheol was a lot more awkward than he had expected. Not that it was a bad thing though. Seungcheol's lips were really soft on his, but he thought that Seungcheol would have had a bit more experience, being twenty-five and all. It took a few minutes for him to actually kiss back, and when he did, it made Jeonghan laugh into the kiss. 

Kissing Seungcheol was a lot more different than kissing Minghao. 

When he kissed Minghao, it was all mouth -- not that he particularly minded, but that was back before he had kissed Seungcheol. 

Kissing Seungcheol was just one of those wonderful miracles that he just couldn't even begin to describe or explain. 

It made him feel like he had nothing to lose. 

He tasted nice. 

He tasted like vanilla and strawberries. 

He wondered if Seungcheol would mind if he ran his fingers through his hair. 

**Seungcheol**

When he started to run his fingers thought his hair, he lost track of time. 

**Jeonghan**

When Seungcheol started to use his tongue to make out with him, he felt like the world was spinning at a hundred miles an hour.

**Seungcheol**

He had to stop after a while. He was too tired, and his lips were slightly swollen. Jeonghan asked him if he wanted to stay the night, but he shook his head. 

_Damn his mom for asking him to be home by twelve._

**Jeonghan**

When Seungcheol pulled away from him, Jeonghan wanted to pull him right back in. He was blushing, which was incredibly cute, and his lips were swollen. He had asked Seungcheol to spend the night, but he shook his head in a ' _no'_ sort of way. 

_Damn it._

Maybe when he dropped him to his home, he'd sneak in through Seungcheol's bedroom window and spent the night with him. 

_Maybe._


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!   
> Cute chapter bc i haven't updated in 30 million years.   
> Sorry.   
> Here you go, i'll try to update more frequently. :D

**Chapter Song: As If It's Your Last by Blackpink**

**\- Track 11 on 'Songs That I Dance To In My Boxers' (made by Jeonghan)**

**Seungcheol**

They didn't say anything on the way to his house. Seungcheol was pretty sure you could still see him blush in the moonlight. It made him feel stupid. 

Jeonghan had dropped him to his home and as he wheeled into his restroom, his whole body felt like it was on Cloud Nine. He was still tires, but he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep. The inner teenage girl in him was still giddy from the kiss, so instead of going to sleep, he popped Jeonghan's latest playlist ' _Soppy Songs For Sentimental Saps'_ on.

Jeonghan had put _One Direction_ on it. 

Just for him. 

**Jeonghan**

It took him a while to figure out how to get over Seungcheol's big ass fence, and when he _finally_ devised some sort of strategy to get over it, he knew that the whole episode was not going to end well. 

He started to climb the vines that wrapped around the fence, cursing to himself quietly for wearing his favorite black jeans today. But he really like those damn jeans, no matter how much Mingyu told him that he looked like a ' _douche bag'_ in them. 

Only one problem though.

 _How the fuck was he supposed to get back down?_ The fence was at least ten feet off the ground. He felt like such a coward. _Just jump you idiot. There's grass down there and all._

He flickered his eyes over to Seungcheol's bedroom window. The curtains were drawn, but the lights were still on. The thoughts of Seungcheol inside and the warmth of him was enough to make up his mind.

He jumped off the fence without a second thought, and tumbled onto the grass, unfortunately scraping his arm off a thorn bush on the way down. Muttering profanities under his breath, he brushed himself off and started to job over to the wheelchair boy's window. 

He laughed as he heard the unmistakable sound of ' _So Sick'_ by Ne-Yo floating through his window. He tapped on the window and almost immediately the music stopped. 

**Seungcheol**

He paused Ne-yo, just to be sure. 

_Yes, there was someone tapping on his window._

He grabbed the fork off the plate that his late night noodles had been on, then cautiously wheeled towards his window. 

He probably looked stupid. 

Of course he did. 

He always looked stupid. 

_Maybe I'll open them on the count of three._

He took a deep breath. 

_One._

_Two._

_Three._

**Swish!**

He drew back the curtain and raised his fork, but it wasn't a mass murderer standing outside his window.

It was Jeonghan. 

Jeonghan waved at him, and motioned for him to open the window. His arm had a small cut on it and it was bleeding, his jeans were a little torn at the knees, and his hair was sticking up everywhere, like he had walked through a bush backwards. 

He looked a bit like a hobo. 

A very attractive hobo though. 

He opened his window and Jeonghan tumbled into the room. 

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" he typed, his eyebrow raised. 

Jeonghan gave him a teeth-y smile, his brown eyes somewhat more bright in the dim light of his room. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor. Seungcheol wished that he had taken down his stupid Harry Potter posters before he had showed up.

"I just wanted to see you." he said, his eyes shining. 

"Is that a fork?" he added, laughing slightly. 

Seungcheol rolled his eyes at him. 

"YOU SAW ME, ONLY TEN MINUTES AGO."

"Is that a Harry Potter poster?" he asked, completely going off the topic. 

"YES. THAT IS A HARRY POTTER POSTER." 

"You never told me that you liked that."

"WELL, IT IS ONE OF MY NERDY LITTLE SECRETS."

Jeonghan threw back his head and laughed like a little kid. Seungcheol really liked when he laughed like that. It made him feel warm and awesome because he had made Jeonghan laugh like that.

"You see, this is why I love hanging out with you." he said, and Seungcheol snorted. 

"WHY?"

"Because... because you use stupid words like _nerdy little secrets."_ he teased. 

"And you like _Harry Potter_ and I see you fanboy every time you get a copy of _The Justice Leauge_ comic and how excited you get when _One Direction_ are on my playlists for you." he added, which made Seungcheol blush. 

"All the more reasons for why I am right here in your bedroom, in the middle of the night." he laughed. 

Seungcheol smiled, and wheeled over to his CD player and pressed play. _So Sick_ started to play again, and Jeonghan jumped up, only to flop back down on Seungcheol's bed. 

"I've never actually really read Harry Potter you know." he said in a thoughtful voice, as he rested his head on the pillow and stared up at the ceiling. 

"I've seen one or two of the movies though." 

Seungcheol scowled at him and flung _The Philosopher's Stone_ at him. It smacked his face and landed in his lap. Jeonghan pouted at him. 

"Hey! What was that for?" he yelled, unimpressed. 

"NEVER, EVER SEE THE MOVIE WITHOUT READING THE BOOK FIRST. HONESTLY, YOU MISS SO MUCH. TH MOVIE DOESN'T EVEN MENTION HALF OF THE THINGS THAT HAPPEN IN THE BOOK." he typed, semi-pissed off at him. 

"I don't read. Reading is for boring people." he grumbled. 

Seungcheol flung _The Chamber of Secrets_ at Jeonghan's head. 

"Ouch! Alright, alright! I'm sorry!" he yelped as Seungcheol aimed _The Prisoner of Azkaban_ at him. 

He narrowed his eyes and gave Jeonghan a look.

"What? You want me to read it now?" he asked, his eyes wide. He opened the book and started to flick through the pages. 

"Seungcheol, there's gotta be like freaking two hundred or three hundred words on each page!" he complained. 

Seungcheol held his gaze, and when Jeonghan look back at him, he sighed and shook his head. 

"Fine. I'll read it." he huffed.

"But you're sitting up here with me." 

The song changed to _Cherry_ by _Harry Styles._

"OKAY." he typed.

**Jeonghan**

Seungcheol wanted him to read it out loud. Jeonghan had always hated reading out loud, even when he was a kid. Back when he was in High School, he had always said no to his teachers when they asked him to read his essays out in class.

But he could never say no to Seungcheol.

Seungcheol was sitting in his lap again, his head rested on Jeonghan's chest. The book was in front of his head. God, he was such a nerd. He looked up at him, and he took it as a sign to start. 

He took a deep breath. 

" _Mr and Mrs. Dursley, of a number four Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, than you very much...."_

**Seungcheol**

Jeonghan's voice was _hot._

But it was even _hotter_ when he was reading _Harry Potter._

**Jeonghan**

_"Hogwarts Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty Hogwarts, Teach us_ something-hey." he paused as he looked down at Seungcheol. His glassed were hanging off his face and his eyes were closed. 

"Do you want me to stop." he asked, brushing his hair from his face. 

He shook his head without opening his eyes. 

They were two and a half pages away from finishing chapter six. 

Jeonghan took Seungcheol's glasses off his face and placed them on the desk. Then he started to read again. 

**Seungcheol**

All he could think about were Jeonghan's lips. They tasted so good. Maybe even better than strawberry milk. 

Well, maybe not _that_ good, but it was a close second. 

He was reading the Hogwarts school song to him.

This was definitely the best night of his life. 

**Jeonghan**

The last thing he remembered before falling asleep was that the name _Hermione_ was pronounced 'Her-my-oh-nee.'

Not 'Her-me-own.'

**Seungcheol**

Jeonghan pronounced _Hermione_ as 'Her-me-own.'

It made him wish that he had corrected him the first time. 

But seriously. 

_Her-me-own?_


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surprise!   
> i wrote this during the hurricane lol the rain sounded rlly pretty, strangely. maybe bc i love.   
> also caratland was yesterday and i cant stop thinking about hug rock version. ugh it was amazing. except for when pledis blocked the us for lie an hour on the official stream ugh.   
> anyways i cant stop listening to together and also, i hate this chapter but i wanted to update so sorry its so bad :/

**Chapter Song: Dynamite by BTS**

**-Track 24 on 'Songs You Should Dance To Because I Can't' (made by Seungcheol)**

**Jeonghan**

He woke up to the smell of bacon, which was pretty awesome because he usually woke up to the smell of _Jack Daniels_ or _Jameson._ There was a brief moment when he realized that he wasn't in his own bed, which made him nervous . The usual thoughts flashed through his brain. 

_Did he sleep with someone?_

_Was it a guy or a girl?_

_If it was a girl, did he get the girl pregnant?_

_What would he tell Minghao?_

_Wait, a minute he didn't even like girls._

But then he heard the sound of someone snoring, and all his worries disappeared. 

_Seungcheol._

He was snoring beside him, his head rested on his shoulder, and with no glasses. There was bit of drool coming out of his mouth. 

Jeonghan laughed at the sight of Seungcheol in the morning. His hair was wild, giving off the illusion that he might have been electrocuted by someone. 

He was clutching his arm like it was a teddy bear. 

Laughing again, he blew on Seungcheol's face to try and wake him up. If it wasn't for the smell of bacon and the grumbling in his stomach, he would have stared at him sleeping all day.

"Seungcheol." he said quietly, poking his cheek.

"Seungcheol." 

"Mmmmm...." he hummed, still not opening his eyes. 

"I think your mom is cooking bacon." he said, giving him a pleading look.

Seungcheol's eyes flicker open and Jeonghan laughed. 

"Can we go and check?" Jeonghan asked, giving him 

Seungcheol shrugged and shut his eyes again, smiling. 

"Cheolieee." he groaned. 

Seungcheol laughed again and opened his eyes. Then he nodded his head towards his wheelchair, which was at the bottom of his bed. 

"Why do I always have to do the hard work?" he grumbled as he untangled himself from Seungcheol and jumped off the bed. 

Seungcheol laughed for probably the sixth time since they woke up. 

He didn't mind.

He liked his laugh. 

He liked it a lot. 

**Seungcheol**

"Well, well, well, Mister Jeonghan, what a lovely surprise." his mom said as she slid a plate of her famous breakfast into the center of the table. 

"Hi Mrs. Choi." he replied, his cheeks looking slightly pink. 

"You know, it's funny, I don't remember you coming over earlier." she said, sending him a smirk.

"MOM. PLEASE." typed Seungcheol quickly. He was not about to let his mom embarrass him this morning. 

"Would you like a cup of ocha?" his mom asked, as she headed over towards the kettle.

"Ocha?" 

"SHE MEANS TEA."

Seungcheol sent his mom a warning look, but his mom simply sent him a wink.

_Jesus._

"So, what time did you come around this morning?" his mom asked loudly over the noise of the boiling kettle.

"Uhmm... well..I..." he was stumbling over his words.

Seungcheol mouthed ' _sorry'_ to him. Jeonghan gave him a thumbs up, maybe trying to assure him that he was alright with the questions, but Seungcheol knew better. 

"MOM. JEONGHAN STAYED THE NIGHT."

His computer voice seemed to hang in the air. 

His mom turned around and gave both of them a smirk.

"Well that's nice." she said, and Seungcheol groaned. He looked back at Jeonghan, who was eyeing the bacon, his eyes wide and his tongue licking his lips. 

"YOU CAN HELP YOURSELF YOU KNOW." he typed.

Jeonghan nodded and used his fork to pick up three pieces of bacon. 

"It's the best bacon you'll ever taste!" his mom said as she walked over the table, a tea pot in her hand. 

Jeonghan smiled and started to shovel the bacon into his mouth. He shit his eyes and sighed. 

"Thisisamazing!" he moaned through a mouthful of bacon.

"See? I told you!" his mom laughed and Seungcheol actually let his face fall against the keyboard.

"I have your eggs here, Cheolie." his mom trilled as she placed two boiled eggs in a _Winnie the Pooh_ bowl. 

"MOM." Seungcheol typed, thinking his morning couldn't get any more embarrassing.

"Seungcheol! Stop being so embarrassed! I'm sure Jeonghan doesn't care!" scolded his mom. 

"Not at all Mrs. Choi." Jeonghan said, but he looked like he was about to burst out laughing. 

Seungcheol scowled at him and began to eat the boiled eggs from his Winnie the Pooh bowl. 

He really liked his boiled eggs. 

**Jeonghan**

He left Seungcheol's house around two, bit that he particularly wanted to, but he had discovered five missing calls from Minghao on his phone, so he decided to visit him. 

It had been a while since he had seen Minghao. 

He guessed it was the funny thing about him and Minghao. They never really hung out. Minghao was always busy or not in the mood, and he was always at the old record shop.

_The record shop._

No, he'd deal with that loss later. He was not about to let his high from Seungcheol disappear because of the record shop.

As he turned the corner and started walking towards Minghao's house, he began to wonder why he had called him so many times last night. _Maybe he wanted to go out with him? What if he had been in trouble?_ His mind started to cloud over as he rang the doorbell. 

Footsteps.

Minghao's footsteps were heavy, and when he opened the door, Jeonghan winced. 

He looked mad. 

"You're such an asshole." Minghao said calmly. He looked annoyed, and like he'd been... crying? 

"You forgot didn't you? You forgot all about my art exhibition."

_Fuck._

_"_ Oh shit! Minghao-"

"Fuck you Jeonghan." he said, voice trembling. 

He was crying.

Jeonghan hated seeing people cry. It made him feel weird. 

He pulled Minghao into his chest, and he cried silently. 

He was sure in for it now.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey.  
> sorry for being gone (again)  
> i was kind of unmotivated but im back hehe

**Chapter Song: Little Lion Man by Mumford and Sons**

**\- Track 3 on 'Songs For When You Screw Up' (made by Jeonghan)**

**Seungcheol**

When Jeonghan didn't call around the next day, he didn't freak out. Seungcheol knew that he was probably busy, but he had grown so used to his company. When Jeonghan wasn't around he couldn't help but feel a little lonely. 

But when Jeonghan didn't call around for a full week, Seungcheol knew something was up. 

He figured that's how he found himself in Soonyoung's swanky apartment, listening to music and venting to him.

"Wait, so he slept with you twice? What a man whore." huffed Soonyoung as he let out a puff of smoke. 

"WE DIDN'T HAVE SEX." Seungcheol typed. 

"Obviously." Soonyoung grumbled, his eyes flickering down to Seungcheol's legs. 

"BUT I DON'T KNOW WHY HE HASN'T BEEN AROUND."

Soonyoung sighed and started to look at Seungcheol, a strange expression on his face.

"I was hoping that I wasn't going to have to do this. I was hoping that Jeonghan might have taken his head out of his ass..." he trailed off and flicked his stub out the window.

Seungcheol didn't type anything. He wasn't sure how to respond. 

"Okay, well.... I guess here goes nothing." grumbled Soonyoung as he walked over to Seungcheol and plonked himself own on the ground in front of him.

"Yoon Jeonghan is an asshole. Always has been, always will be. But for some reason, he changed because of you." 

"YOU ALREADY TOLD ME THIS."

"Just.. be quiet for a sec? Alright?"

Seungcheol sighed and nodded.

"Right, so Jeonghan. He's... he's a player, but he really likes this Minghao dude. He's great looking, great at sex, great at being a..." the white-haired boy trailed off, sounding bitter. 

"Jeonghan cheated on me with Minghao a long time ago. I got over it, as one should do when the person they _think_ they love cheats on them. But Jeonghan... I just didn't want to believe it. You can never trust that man. All he does is fuck you, then leaves you behind with empty and broken promises." 

Seungcheol started fidgeting with his sleeve.

But Jeonghan had promised him that he would never hurt him.

Surely he would keep that promise, _right?_

"Seungcheol, listen, I know it's hard to believe. Yes, Jeonghan is a fucking awesome guy when he cares, but the problem is he rarely ever cares at all. It's sad, actually, when you think about it. But truthfully? I think the man is just scared he's going to end up alone." huffed Soonyoung. 

"I just don't want to see you hurt. I don't want him to play you like he played me."

"SO THEN WHY IS HE AVOIDING ME?" the question was out of his head and into his laptop before he could stop it. 

Soonyoung gave him a sad smile. 

"He hasn't been avoiding you Seungcheol. He's just forgotten about you."

" _He's just forgotten about you."_

The words cut him like a blade. 

"I'm sorry that I let you get too close to him." Soonyoung said quietly. His brown eyes started to fill up with tears. This made Seungcheol's eyes start to fill up with tears.

So Jeonghan _had_ cared about him. 

But he had forgotten about him.

Just like he had forgotten about Soonyoung. 

Just as he had forgotten every other guy. 

Why should he have been any different?

They both started to cry together. It didn't help that _Paramore_ had started to play.

He wondered if Jeonghan had even liked his playlist. 

Maybe it had all been just a game.

**Jeonghan**

He had forgotten how great Minghao was in bed. He did everything right. He smiled as they both collapsed on to the bed, both of them out of breath.

"Well that was great." he breathed as Minghao rested his head on his chest. 

Minghao laughed. 

"Yeah. I know. You're so loud though." 

Jeonghan kissed him and shut his eyes. 

"I know. But I'm tired now." he sighed. 

"Alright. I have to go to the art studio now. I'll be back at ten, alright?" Minghao said as he got up, leaving Jeonghan tangled in the sheets.

"Don't go. I'll miss you." he groaned, and Minghao laughed.

"I'll only be gone a couple of hours. Why don't you read your _Harry Potter_ book?" Minghao asked, a smirk plastered across his face.

"Huh?" he asked, confused 

"Oh come _on_ Han, I know you're reading it. I found it in your jacket pocket the other night." he teased, and then he was dressed and gone. 

Minghao's words only seemed to mean something after the door slammed and he was alone. 

_Harry Potter and The Philosopher's Stone._

_Seungcheol._

Shit. Shit. Shit. 

He leapt out of bed, pulled on some pants, and started to tear his room apart, searching for his jacket.

He had forgotten all about the boy in the wheelchair. 

"Fuck!" he yelled, frustrated. He couldn't find his damned jacket anywhere. 

Fuck it anyway.

**Seungcheol**

He spent the whole night staring at Jeonghan's playlists. 

_Had Jeonghan even made them for him?  
_

**Jeonghan**

He found it eventually, and sure enough the book was there. A note pinned on it. He nearly knew it off by heart now. 

_Dear Jeonghan,_

_I thought you might have wanted to finish this. Oh, and if you give me this book back with any bent corners, I will cut off your fingers one by one and reattach them to your forehead :)_

_Love always,_

_Seungcheol x_

**Seungcheol**

Jeonghan had called him at 11:47 pm. 

Seungcheol had sent it straight to voice mail.

**Jeonghan**

When Seungcheol had sent him straight to voice mail, he knew that he was mad at him.

**Seungcheol**

Three days after Jeonghan had attempted to call him, Seungcheol turned off his phone. He had been texting like there was no tomorrow, all of his words a string of sad excuses. 

He spent most of his time with Soonyoung, and occasionally Mingyu. Both of them were great company, but none of them compared to Jeonghan.

_Shit._

That was the tenth time today he had thought about him. 

He was trying to forget about him like he had forgotten about him. Like writing out of his life for good. 

Unfortunately, it was really had to do this when Jeonghan was starting to 'care' about him again.

Seungcheol missed _his_ playlists. He missed giving Jeonghan his playlists.

But this feeling always passed when he remembered that he probably hadn't even cared about his playlists, although, he _had_ listened to them, hadn't he? One time he had even caught him singing Taylor Swift. 

"I wasn't singing _Taylor Swift_ because I like her. I was singing it because she's stuck in my fucking head." he used to say. A lame excise, but he was full of them anyway. 

He was wheeling out of his speech therapy. His speech was improving a lot. He could say a couple of big words now without even a stammer. It made him smile as he wheeled down the road by himself. 

**Jeonghan**

_Broken bottles in the hotel lobby,_

_Seems to me like i'm just scared of never feeling it again._

_I know it's crazy to believe in silly things,_

_But it's not that easy._

High Hopes by Kodaline. 

He had listened to it at least six or seven times. He sighed as he flicked another page of _The Philosopher's stone._

He didn't care about what Harry, Ron and Hermione got up to at Hogwarts.

He didn't care that Harry caught the snitch for Gryffindor in his mouth. 

He didn't care that Neville lost his stupid toad.

He didn't care about anything if Seungcheol wasn't around.

**Seungcheol**

Jeonghan still had his book. He was such an idiot. He had left his book in Jeonghan's stupid jacket for him, he had wanted Jeonghan to finish it. 

He wondered if Jeonghan had even noticed.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiii  
> update after like 10 million year :D i hope u guys are still interested :D  
> seventeen had a comeback about one wee ago and i'm so obsessed. "Light a Flame" and "Hey Buddy" are some of my favorite songs right now... i love all of the songs though!!  
> comment your favorite song from Semicolon !! im interested to hear what your fav songs are!!!  
> loona too!! im so obsessed with "Why Not" so many good October comebacks omg...  
> anyway enjoy!! sorry for the long wait!!

**SEUNGCHEOL**

Without the record store, Seungcheol felt like a lost wandering soul. He missed the place, the smell of dusty old records and weed. He missed the sound of the bell tinkling when a customer walked in. He missed stacking the CDs. 

It was hard to move on when you didn't really wan to. 

His mom was at him nearly all the time about Jeonghan, but this time Seungcheol wasn't giving in. He didn't know what to say to the man with the rose tattoo anymore. 

Well, that was a lie. He knew _exactly_ what he wanted to say to him, but he knew if he said it, he would fall for him all over again. Just as he had swept the pieces he had smashed... he knew Jeonghan would do it all over again. 

It was kind of like a sick cycle.

_The Jeonghan cycle._

He had been just another guy in his cycle. And the sad thing was that his life had been the happiest in his cycle. 

He hated Jeonghan for making him feel this way. 

Fuck him. 

Fuck him for doing this. 

Fuck him for screwing up _everything._

**JEONGHAN**

Without the record store, Jeonghan spent most of his time with Minghao. Minghao was always making him do chores around his house, whether it was washing windows, washing his clothes, or cooking his dinner (because he was too tired after work.) He couldn't take it anymore. He had to go out. 

So he told Minghao that he was going to _Holiday,_ the local bar. He would have rather call for Seungcheol, but he knew he was not in Seungcheol's good books at the moment, so he stayed away (not that he particularly wanted to.) 

He sighed as he stepped into the _Holiday._ It was one of his favorite bars around town and usually had a great atmosphere. He was know as a legend in the bar due to the fact that he held the record of the most shots taken in under a minute (thirty-two.)

He knew why he had come here. 

He was here to forget about him.

He was here to drown his sorrows. 

He smiled as he sat down on a high stool at the bar. Some guy named Jun was serving at the bar tonight. He ordered a bottle of Jameson. 

"Just a bottle? Nothing else? Won't that be a little strong?" the guy was bombarding him with questions he wasn't in the mood to answer. 

He shrugged.

"I'm here to forget about someone." he said as the dude handed him a bottle. 

"Drinking really isn't the answer." said the man, giving him a frown. 

Jeonghan just shook his head and slammed a couple of dollars on the counter. 

"No, you don't understand. Nobody does." he sighed as he opened the bottle.

"Cheers."

He took a huge swig of the whiskey, the liquid burning his throat all the way down. The feeling was greeting him like an old friend. It had been a while since he had drank alcohol.

"Was she pretty?" asked the man as he leaned against the counter. Jeonghan taught he looked like a model. 

"He." Jeonghan hiccoughed. 

"He was perfect." 

**SEUNGCHEOL**

When Soonyoung called at his house at half-four in the morning, Seungcheol knew there was something seriously wrong because: 

A) He knew for a fact that Soonyoung didn't get up until one o'clock in the middle of the day. 

B) Nobocy called to someone's house at two thirty in the morning unless it was an emergency.

C) Soonyoung looked as anxious as he had the day the record store got shut down. 

His mom had answered the door, and Seungcheol had wheeled out into the hall when he had seen the white hair. 

"Soonyoung?" his mom yawned as she rubbed her eyes. 

"What's-"

"I need you guys to come to the hospital right now." he said quickly, his voice grim.

Soonyoung's eyes fell on Seungcheol. 

"It's Jeonghan... he... he was drinking..." he trailed off. 

In seconds Seungcheol had thrown on a jacket and his mom had the car keys in hand.

"Come on. We have no time to lose." his mom said, suddenly wide awake. Seungcheol nodded, his heart starting to beat at a hundred miles an hour. 

"He's not dead." said Soonyoung as Seungcheol wheeled out into the bitter November air. The sky was clear tonight, a million constellations were shining in the sky.

They reminded him of Jeonghan's eyes.

He checked his jacket pocket for the playlists. 

Yeah, the new one for him were there.

All of them for each day he hadn't talked to him.

\-----------

**SEUNGCHEOL**

As he wheeled into the hospital, a million panicked thoughts flooded into his head. _Was he dead?_ No, Soonyoung had said he wasn't. But that had been minutes ago. What if he was? What if their story had ended on a bad chapter? What if their song had ended on a bad note? 

He gripped his hands tightly on the handles of his wheelchair. Soonyoung had started to push him.

When they arrived into the hospital, Seungcheol wrinkled his nose. He had always hated the smell of hospitals. Bleach and hand sanitizer. 

_Ew._

They were greeted by three people at the reception, on of them being Mingyu, one of them being Minghao, and one of them being a guy that Seungcheol didn't know. He was wearing all black and a name tag with the name ' _Jun'_ on it.

His mom sent Seungcheol an odd look. 

"Is that tall guy, the one waving at you, is he wearing a t-shirt that says _t_ _hey hate us cause they anus_ on it?" his mom whispered worriedly to him. 

Despite the situation, Seungcheol laughed weakly and nodded. Of course he had to wear that stupid t-shirt when he met his mom.

_Just his luck._

"Seungcheol! Soonyoung!" Mingyu said in a relieved voice. He gave his mom and awkward nod of the head. 

"Misses Choi." he mumbled. 

His mom laughed.

"Please tell me your mother doesn't see you in that shirt." 

"No m'am." he mumbled.

Seungcheol sent his mom a look to say, 

" _Mom! Jeonghan!"_

His mom sent him a sad look.

"Right I'll check with reception if he's allowed to see visitors." she said and walked over to the counter, leaving the five of them alone. 

Seungcheol took the time to study everyone.

Soonyoung was itching at his jean pocket, his fingers playing with the outline of the packet of cigarettes he ha in them. He always smoked when he was nervous.

Mingyu was staring at his shoes, his usually bubbly self failing to make an appearance at the moment.

Minghao was silently crying (Seungcheol tried to ignore the pang of jealousy that shot through him) and the stranger, Jun, was scratching his head and trying to keep himself distracted from everybody. 

Seungcheol had started to fidget with his sleeve. 

All of them were trying to fidget with each other.

All of them were trying hard not to think about Jeonghan.

It felt like ages had passes before his mom returned, but when she did return, she looked grim.

"Only one person's allowed to visit him tonight." she said slowly.

Before anybody could say anything, Minghao had stepped forward. 

"I'll go. I'm his boyfriend." he simply said, his pretty eyes flashing dangerously at everybody.

"No way. Not you." growled Soonyoung, stepping out to block Minghao's path.

"Mingyu should go. He's the best friend." said Jun slowly. Mingyu beamed at him.

"Yeah!" he said, although he didn't sound too sure.

"You're all idiots, you know that? If anyone should go in, it should be Seungcheol." Soonyoung said, his eyes blazing.

Everyone fell silent.

Seungcheol stopped fidgeting with his sleeve and looked up.

All eyes were on him.

"No." said Minghao quietly.

"No way. He doesn't even know him-" 

"Shut your pie hole Minghao. Seungcheol knows that bastard better than all of us put together."

" _Soonyoung_." his mom's warning tone made the white-haired boy fall silent. 

"Seungcheol should go." said Mingyu quietly, nodding his head in agreement.

"He would want Seungcheol to see him first."

Minghao cleared his throat. He send Seungcheol a dark look before turning to face everyone else. 

"I think we could all agree that the _boyfriend_ of Jeonghan should see him first. Why would he want to see some dude in a wheelchair-"

"Watch your mouth Minghao." Soonyoung said through gritted teeth and Minghao swallowed. 

"Uhmm... I uhmm.." Minghao started to stumble over his words, his face turning red.

"Someome took a leaf out of Jihoon's book-"

" _Mingyu."_

"Sorry."

"Fine! Let Seungcheol go!" Minghao snapped suddenly, sending them all into silence.

Seungcheol blinked, shocked. 

_Him?_

_See Jeonghan first?_

He was supposed to be _mad_ at him.

Without another word, Seungcheol started to wheel up to the reception. A nurse was waiting for him there. 

"You must be Seungcheol." said the nurse with a smile.

He raised an eyebrow at her. 

The nurse's smile grew wider.

"I knew it would be you who got to see him in the end." the nurse said as she started to wheel Seungcheol down the corridor.

"Mister Yoon won't stop mumbling your name in his sleep."

\------

**SEUNGCHEOL**

He didn't really know what to expect when he wheeled into Jeonghan's hospital room. Apparently he had been moved into a private room because his mumbling in his sleep was annoying the other patients.

When he saw him, he started to cry.

His eyes were closed, his arm attached to some sort of drip, his skin a pale sort of yellow color. He looked awful.

Seungcheol inhaled deeply as he wheeled over to the side of his bed.

The tears were falling fast now, they rolled off his cheeks and splashed on to his lap. He didn't care though. Not right now.

"W-what h-have you d-done." he sobbed, his stammer out of control. He let him head fall onto his chest like he had done nearly a hundred times before.

Jeonghan didn't wrap his arms around him like he usually did though.

He didn't even stir.

"I-I b-b-bought you n-new p-p-playlists." he sniffled, digging his hand into his pocket and taking out seven playlist. 

"T-There's M-M-Mariah C-Carey on o-one of t-them. I-I know h-how m-m-much y-you l-love h-her."

He placed the disks onto his little bed side table. 

I-I'm s-sorry I w-was m-mad at y-you." he cried, a new wave of tears washing over him.

"I-I was j-just u-upset." 

He didn't move. 

He looked so weak.

He looked like he was going to die.

Seungcheol nuzzled his head into Jeonghan's chest. He still smelled great. He wondered if he still tasted like Christmas.

"D-Don't l-leave m-me." he sniffled.

"Y-you're a-all I h-have."

He didn't know how long he cried into his chest after that.

The nurse had to call his mom to calm him down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is this a bit corny... or cliche...? maybe but enjoy lolololol


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyy,  
> i forgot to say this last update, but,,,,  
> 1200 READS THAT IS INSANE!!!! thank you so much, really  
> i want to cry  
> i didn't even think anyone was going to read this  
> or even like it  
> so,,, i want to thank you, if you've been here since the beginning, or if you just found this today  
> thank you so much.

**Chapter Song: Lego House by Ed Sheeran**

**Track 18 on 'Songs for Jeonghan' (made by Seungcheol)**

**Jeonghan**

Jeonghan had heard him.

He had smelled him. 

He had even felt him crying into his chest. 

His stupid body just wouldn't wake up.

**Seungcheol**

He stated over night in the hospital's waiting room. Everyone else had decided to head home, even Minghao.

But Seungcheol was not going home until Jeonghan woke up.

His mom understood, she had even stated with him in the waiting room, flicking through her glossy magazines until he fell asleep.

The next day, Soonyoung brought Seungcheol his laptop and a handful of blank CD disks. Seungcheol had nearly cried with happiness. 

"You're so weird, you know that right? I love you for it." Soonyoung had laughed when he saw Seungcheol's reaction.

Jeonghan's nurse (who's name was Nina) brought him and his mom coffee every hour or so. His mom called Nina a " _sweetheart_." 

It was five o'clock when Nina came sprinting down the hall for him. She looked excited, her eyes wide and her usual neat bun on her head was falling out. 

"Jeonghan... he's... awake." she panted as she beamed at Seungcheol. 

It took him approximately one minute and thirty seconds to wheel down that long ass corridor. 

**Jeonghan**

"Have you ever had any alcohol problems Mister Yoon?"

He rolled his eyes. 

"No. I'm telling you doctor, for probably the twentieth time, I have _never_ had alcohol problems."

"So can you explain why you had to get your stomach pumped?"

"It's none of your business!" 

"I just need to know what exactly happened Mister Yoon, because I don't want to ever see you here again." 

"Doctor, I..." he trailed off as Nina burst into the room. 

"Doctor Eunji.. uhmmm... there's an emergency in the waiting room! This tall guy is running around with his pants down!" Nina gasped. 

Doctor Eunji frowned and placed her clipboard down on the bedside table. 

"I'll be back." she huffed, her heels clicking off the cool white tiles of the hospital floor. 

"And when I do come back, you better have a good reason as to _why_ you ended up here." 

She walked out of the room and when she was gone, Nina breathed a sigh of relief. 

"Okay. She's gone. Seungcheol you can come in now." Nina laughed, wiping her forehead with her hand.

_Seungcheol._

Jeonghan sat up in his bed as a boy with soft brown hair, big brown and eyes and circle glasses wheeled into the room. 

Seungcheol gave him a big smile. 

"HI JEONGHAN." he typed shyly, hiding his face a little behind his laptop screen. 

_God,_ he had missed that computer voice. Although his actual voice was much nicer, stutter and all.

He wished Seungcheol would talk more in front of him.

"Seungcheol." he said, sending him a teethy smile. 

They didn't say anything more after that. 

They didn't really have to. 

All they needed was to look at each other. 

**Seungcheol**

Jeonghan had a really pretty face. 

Seungcheol felt like he could look at it for hours on end.

**Jeonghan**

Seungcheol's eyelashes were so long. 

They made his big brown eyes look even prettier. 

**Seungcheol**

Jeonghan was released from the hospital a couple hours after he had visited him. His skin had returned to it's original color, and he looked a thousand times better than last night. He was stretched out on Seungcheol's bed, his head buried into _The Philosopher's Stone,_ his eyes reading the words extremely fast. 

Seungcheol, on the other hand, was working extremely hard on a new playlist for Jeonghan. The room was silent, the only sound being the soft flick of a page, or the click of his keyboard. Both of them were lost in their own worlds. 

They hadn't really spoken since Jeonghan had been released. Maybe he wasn't sure what to him anymore. 

Maybe they were falling apart, brick by brick, piece by piece, like all people do. The only thing left to hang on to being the playlists. 

Seungcheol had never wanted this to happen.

But he had always been so easy to forget. 

**Jeonghan**

He sighed as he flipped on to chapter thirteen of _The Philosopher's Stone._ He couldn't concentrate, not with Seungcheol on the other side of the room. All he could think about was how the last time he sat on his bed, Seungcheol had let him touch him. 

_Jesus._

But Seungcheol was _nice_ to touch. His skin was always soft like silk, and his fingers always felt right when they were pressed lightly against his chest.

Seungcheol was sitting with his back facing him, his headphones around his neck, a stack of CDs beside him. He was wearing his black hoodie, the one with small cats on the sleeves. He wondered if Seungcheol had dated someone before. He wondered if Seungcheol had ever kissed someone that wasn't him before. 

He found himself praying that he was the only one who had ever kissed the boy in the wheelchair. 

He found himself praying that he would _always_ be the only one. 

_Jesus._

He was a selfish bastard sometimes. 

**Seungcheol**

What if they _were_ falling apart?

What if Jeonghan forgot him again?

What if he was the new chapter in his never ending story?

He was sure to tear him out of his book soon enough.

**Jeonghan**

Jeonghan wondered if he looked in the _Mirror of Erised,_ would Minghao appear? 

He wasn't so sure anymore. 

He shut his eyes.

**Seungcheol**

He really needed to pee, but Jeonghan had fallen asleep on his bed. he _so_ did not want to miss watching him while he slept. Jeonghan even looked attractive when he was in dreamland, his hair like a messy halo on his head, his eyes pinched shut, his pretty eyelashes more visible.

He didn't even snore when he slept. He kind of just breathed a little louder. He was a mouth breather, which for some reason made him laugh. 

He looked so cute. 

Before Seungcheol could stop himself, he wheeled over to him, careful not to smack into the bed and wake him up. Up close, he was just as attractive. He couldn't help himself. He reached out and stroked his hair. 

It felt like feathers.

He didn't wake up.

He didn't mind. 


	19. Chapter Nineteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hii  
> please read the note at the end if you'd like!
> 
> thank you for reading!!

**Chapter Song: These Four Walls by Little Mix**

**Track 7 on 'Songs To Fall Asleep To' (Made by Seungcheol)**

**Jeonghan**

He was in a good mood on the drive to Minghao's house. The sun was shining, his window was open, Seungcheol's playlist was blaring. He had never really been into _Little Mix_ before, but he just couldn't get enough of them at the moment. 

He had decided to give his boyfriend a surprise visit, due to the fact that Minghao recently told him that he wasn't a very _sentimental_ boyfriend. He hummed as he pulled up outside Minghao's house. There was a red sports car parked outside of it. 

_Hm._

_That's weird._

He certainly didn't remember Minghao having a red sports car.

_Maybe he had gotten a raise at work?_

He turned off the radio and jumped out of his car, his mind suddenly clouded. He marched up to the door and started to rummage around his jacket for his house key. It took him a good thirty seconds to find it, and when he did find the key, it was attached to a polaroid of him and Seungcheol. 

He was _not_ in the mood for this right now.

He unlocked the door and stepped inside, only to be met with the sound someone _moaning._

" _Mingyuuuu. Fuck."_

He knew that voice.

It was Minghao's. 

"Shhh. I got you."

There was no mistaking it.

That was _Mingyu's_ voice.

He stormed towards where the disgusting moans were coming from, his heart racing. _He wouldn't do it._ Not behind his back. Minghao loved him, didn't he? Minghao had said it before. _He_ had said it before. 

**SMACK!**

The door whacked against the wall as Jeonghan stepped into the living room. 

Disappointment. Hurt. Betrayal. Pain. 

A million ugly emotions spread through his body as he looked at his boyfriend and his best friend lying on the couch with half of their clothes off. 

Minghao reacted first by pushing Mingyu off him and jumping up, his eyes wide with disbelief. 

"J-Jeonghan." he stammered, his lips trembling. He had always admired Minghao's body, he was never one to turn away when he was half naked in front of him.

But at the moment, he couldn't look at him at all.

"Jeonghan, you-"

"SHUT UP!" he roared, his temper exploding, his pain becoming too much. 

The tall ma fell silent.

"What is this?" he demanded. He was so close to tears now. 

_No._

He wouldn't cry in front of them. 

"Why?" he asked coolly, his eyes finally flicking up to his boyfriend. Minghao sighed as he stepped away from Mingyu.

"Look, Jeonghan... don't take this the wrong way, alright? I...I never really loved you Jeonghan. I thought that all we were going to be was a one night stand, but when you didn't leave... well.. I didn't want to break it to you. The thing was, I was already into someone else..." he trailed off and looked up at Mingyu who gave him a peck on the lips. 

Jeonghan nearly threw up.

"So all this was a lie? All the times you said you loved me... all the times I kissed you... it was all a game?" he asked, his voice like ice.

Minghao shrugged.

"I did love you for a while Jeonghan, it just wasn't real."

_It just wasn't real._

His throat was dry, his hands were clenched into tight fists by his sides. His life was spiraling out of control. This wasn't supposed to happen to _him_.

This wasn't how it worked.

_Too deep._

He had fallen in too deep, his head had been fooled into thinking he had found the one. He had been played like a board game. He had been a pawn in Minghao's chess game.

He had loved someone who never loved him back.

He felt a cold feeling spread through his veins.

Minghao had broke him.

But never again.

Never again would he let anyone in. Never again will he let himself get too close to anyone. 

It hurt too much. It hurt because it had been real.

**Seungcheol**

When he wheeled out of his speech therapy and saw Jeonghan marching down the road, his heat skipped a beat, but then it started to slow down when he saw the expression on his face. He looked mad, his footsteps were heavy, like he was dragging his feet more so than lifting them, and his eyes were staring down at the ground. 

_Something was wrong._

He found himself wheeling towards him.

"Jeonghan!" he yelled, not a stutter to be heard in his voice (thanks to today's lesson lesson with Doctor Yang.)

"Jeonghan!" 

He looked up, his usually shining brown eyes look like two large black pools. 

Jeonghan froze when he saw Seungcheol and blinked straight ahead, staring at him like he was a stranger. He wheeled on and smiled at him.

"HI. ARE YOU ALRIGHT?" he typed cautiously. 

Jeonghan ignored him and walked on, leaving him alone. _What was up with him? Was Jeonghan ignoring him again? He had no reason though! He hadn't even done anything! He had never actually done anything wrong to him!_

It was time for him to take his head out of his ass.

Seungcheol wheeled quickly, and when he caught up with him, he wheeled in front of him, blocking his path and making him stop. 

This was it. He was tired of Jeonghan forgetting about him, ignoring him and using him. He was done with the boy with the playlists. He was about to tell him _exactly_ how he felt about him right now.

"JEONGHAN WHY-" 

"Look, Seungcheol, I can't deal with this right now, alright? I just found out that Minghao has been fucking my best friend behind my back for, _God knows how long?_ We'll talk later, I promise." he said tiredly, cutting him off, mid sentence. Jeonghan attempted to push past him, but he wheeled in front of him, anger boiling in the depths of his stomach. He then let his angry words spill onto his keyboard.

"PROMISE? HOW CAN YOU STILL EVEN USE THAT WORD?" he practically punched into his laptop.

Jeonghan sighed and stopped trying to push past him.

Seungcheol took this as an opportunity to go on.

"HOW MANY BROKEN PROMISES HAVE YOU MADE TO ALL YOUR EX-LOVERS JEONGHAN? HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU PROMISED SOMEONE THAT YOU WOULD STAY?"

"Shut up Seungcheol! Alright? I am not in the mood!" Jeonghan snapped at him, his voice dripping with venom.

Seungcheol blinked as he felt his glasses start to fog up. He had just told him to shut up. When had ever said that to him before? He had said that he _loved_ his god damned computer voice.

_Lies._

_Lies. Lies. Lies._

He swallowed back the lump in his throat and went on, channeling his pain into his words. 

"WELL, DIDN'T YOU KIND OF CHEAT ON HIM WITH ME? YOU _DID_ KISS ME YOU KNOW." he typed bitterly. 

"That was nothing." he said, his voice cold and clear.

Seungcheol took a sharp breath. 

"SO WHEN YOU KISSED ME, IT WAS NOTHING? JUST ANOTHER HOOK UP THEN?" Tears were stinging in his eyes. It felt like Jeonghan had just kicked him in the stomach.

He actually would have _preferred_ it if he had kicked him in the stomach.

The pain would be less.

"What, did the kiss mean _more_ to you Seungcheol?" he asked nastily.

"NO. IT WAS JUST A KISS." he lied, his fingers were starting to slip off the keyboard. They were trembling that much.

"SOMETIMES I WONDER WHY YOU DID IT THOUGH. WHY DID YOU KISS ME JEONGHAN? WAS IT BECAUSE YOU LIKED ME?"

To his surprise, Jeonghan laughed bitterly and gave him a dark look.

"You want to know _why_ I kissed you Seungcheol? Fine, but you asked for it. I kissed you because I felt _sorry_ for you. I wanted you to know what it felt like to kiss somebody because no one kissed boys in wheelchairs. It's just how it is. People pity you Seungcheol, and I know you don't like it when people do, but what you don't understand is that people have to pity you, because that's how the world fucking is." he paused, then went on.

"Today I realized that this world is a fucking let down, full of people ready to screw you over." 

Jeonghan looked at him sadly. 

"And maybe you were one of God's pawns, or whatever, coming to screw me over, just like Minghao. Maybe you were just another soul sent to break me.

Seungcheol felt tears drip down his face.

So he really had meant nothing to him after all.

He was just another pawn in his chest game.

Using the last of the anger that he could muster, he wiped away the tears with his sleeve and started to type.

"YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A SAD MAN WHO DROWNS HIS SORROWS WITH DRINKS WHEN HIS BOYFRIEND HAS HAD ENOUGH OF HIM. YOU'RE NOT A MAN, JEONGHAN, YOU'RE A MONSTER AND I WISH I HAD NEVER MET YOU." his words were the bitter truth laced with lies. He knew deep down he was glad he met Jeonghan, but the demons in his head were telling him that this is what he deserved.

And the sad thing was. 

Jeonghan's words were just as true as his.

But his words were making an impact on Jeonghan, Seungcheol saw the hurt register in his face. Then suddenly, Jeonghan narrowed his eyes at him, making Seungcheol shrink back into his wheelchair.

"You know what Seungcheol? At least I'm able to carry on with my life. At least I'm not afraid to accept the truth of reality. At least I'm able to stand for myself, unlike you, who can't even stand at all."

That was the last straw. He had played the last and cruelest card of them all. 

_The disabled card._

Jeonghan's words played through his head like a broken record, a scratched playlist. 

" _At least I'm able to stand for myself, unlike you, who can't even stand at all."_

**Jeonghan**

He was gone before he could even realize what he had just said.

Shit. 

Shit. Shit. Shit.

He had gone too far. 

He fad played the disabled card against him.

Shit. 

"Seungcheol wait!" he yelled, tearing down the street after him.

**Seungcheol**

"Seungcheol wait!" 

He was trying to call him back. No way was he going to stop and let that monster catch up to him.He knew if he let him catch up, he'd fall for his disguise again.

He couldn't afford to do that again.

"Seungcheol please!" 

His words only made him wheel faster and faster. People were jumping away out of his way, cursing after him, but he was beyond caring. All that mattered was getting away from Jeonghan.

"Seungcheol stop!"

His voice was fading. He would definitely lose him at the crosswalk.

"SEUNGCHEOL NO!" 

_Do it._

He was in the middle of the road, heck, he was nearly on the other side! Only a few more pushes and- 

_The sound of a speeding car._

_An incredible feeling of pain._

_And then nothing._

_Nothing._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wooo...  
> this chapter.. is.. something else lol  
> but i just wanted to say im kinda sad this story is close to ending :(( wehh  
> but.. i do have an idea for another story :D  
> idk which member to write it about though  
> if you have any ideas.. send them my way!  
> ill give u clues: its kinda based in the 80s and maybe war?? idk  
> also, it might be a het fic so let me know what you guys think about that!! 
> 
> -ps the mingyu and hao scene was awkward to write... lol i felt embarrassed


	20. Chapter Twenty [UPDATE]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW!! blood, gore (??) 
> 
> for the first part, i'm sorry it was necessary for the chapter. I will bold and put a star (⋆) the first word of where it's safe to read.  
> stay safe <3

**Chapter Song: All I Want by Kodaline**

**Track 1 on 'Sad Songs For Crying To' made by Seungcheol**

**Jeonghan**

He would like to say that he didn't see the car fly through the red traffic lights, that he didn't see Seungcheol wheel into the middle of the road, desperately trying to get away from him.

That he didn't see the car smack right into him.

That he didn't see him fly through the air and smash onto the ground like a comet shooting out of space and crash landing in the middle of the road.

That he didn't see his blood like scattered red teardrops on the road right now.

_It had all happened so fast._

In seconds he was beside Seungcheol, on his knees, leaning over his un-moving body tears falling down his face like a waterfall.

_All his fault._

_It was all his fault._

Sirens wailed in the background as people started to scream at the sight of Seungcheol. Blood was pouring from him everywhere.

But Jeonghan ignored the sirens, the screams, the cries of women who had no idea.

Nothing mattered more than him right now.

Nothing.

"Seungcheol...." he whispered, slowly reaching out to brush his soft hair out of of his face. It was sticking to his forehead because of the blood.

"C-come on. I know you're a-alright." he sniffed, using his sleeve to wipe away the blood dripping from Seungcheol's nose. 

**⋆ His** tears were splashing onto Seungcheol's face. He didn't know what to do. For once in his fucking messed up life, Jeonghan didn't know what to do.

The sirens were louder now, and when he heard the screeching of tires coming to halt, he knew that the ambulance had arrived.

"Cheol, listen to me. You are _not_ going to die on me. You are not going to leave me alone." he sobbed. Seungcheol didn't move. He didn't even open his eyes. His glasses were gone, probably lying somewhere on the road, smashed and broken. 

"Listen to me. Everything I said to you five minutes ago, it was all bullshit. I was just hurt..." he trailed off as a new wave of tears washed over him, making his vision blurred.

"When I kissed you, it was because I wanted to kiss you, not because I felt sorry for you. I wanted to kiss you Cheol. I _still_ want to kiss you."

Sad words from a broken soul, that's all that was coming out of him.

It's funny how little words mean where you're too late. 

That's when the string of promises started to pour out of him like they were never going to stop.

"I don't want you to leave me. I don't want a life without you in it. If you wake up, I promise I'll never complain about listening to _One Direction_ ever again. I promise that we can cosplay as Harry and Ginny like you wanted us to. I promise that we can eat skittles and popcorn all the time while you tell me about your nerdy habits...." 

He want on to promise him the world if he woke up, not that it was his to give, but if it meant that he would come back to him, he would do it. 

"Sir, we need you to let go of him now." huffed one of the paramedics as they approached him. He clutched Seungcheol's body tighter towards him. No way was he letting him go.

He was afraid if he let Seungcheol go, he'd never get him back.

"No." he growled. 

The paramedic sighed.

"Sir, he needs to be brought to the hospital. Please don't make this harder than it has to be.

Suddenly a swarm of men were surrounding him and Seungcheol, and they started to close in on them.

"No! Please! Leave us alone!" he begged, his voice sounding raw and broken.

"It's for the best." 

"Fuck off!"

"Sir, just let him go."

"DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH HIM" 

"Jeonghan! Let him go!"

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Soonyoung, his white hair as vibrant as ever, his eye makeup slightly smudged under his eyes. He looked like was about to cry, his bottom lip trembling.

"Jeonghan let him go." 

Something of his voice made him let Seungcheol go. Out of everyone, only Soonyoung's voice seemed to reach him through the hell he was currently living in. 

He let him go.

Then the paramedics started their work.

"I need an oxygen mask right now!" 

"I can't feel a pulse."

"Legs are damaged, head is bleeding... not sure if it's internal!"

"I need the stretcher now!"

"I can't stop the bleeding."

"He's not responding!"

"Everybody clear! This is a code read situation!"

Then they put him on a stretcher.

And then he was gone.

"Jeonghan? Jeonghan! Jeonghan, talk to me!"

Soonyoung was talking to him. He couldn't really hear him. It was like his world had suddenly gone underwater. 

_He had to let him go._

He wasn't sure if he was ever going to get him back.

As the ambulance pulled away and sped down the road once again, sirens blaring, only one thought seemed to be haunting his mind.

He shut his eyes and remembered a promise that he had made on a cold night outside the gates of a park.

_"I promise that I will never hurt you."_

He could make a list of all the broken promises he had made to the boy in the wheelchair.

\--------

**Jeonghan**

_if you loved me_   
_Why'd you leave me?_

_Take my body_   
_Take my body_   
_All I want is_   
_And all I need is_   
_To find somebody_   
_I'll find somebody_   
_Like you oh whoa oh...._

**SMASH!**

He threw his empty bottle of Jameson at the wall and watched it smash to a million little pieces. 

He was drunk of course. Seungcheol had been right all along. He _did_ drown his sorrows with drinks, but what else was supposed to make him forget about Seungcheol? He just wanted to forget.

But it was impossible to forget him.

Seungcheol was always haunting him in his memories, like _just_ when he thought he had forgotten about him, he remembered something small that would trigger the memories, like his laugh, or his eyes, or the fact that he smelt like mint and cologne all the time. All of them painful to remember, all of them always tearing down the walls he had built around himself to him block him out.

_Kodaline._

That's all he was listening to at the moment.

They had been Seungcheol's favorite, apart from _One Direction_ of course.

He still hated _One Direction._

But if liking them brought Seungcheol back to him, he would fucking marry Harry Styles.

He was in intensive care. That's what Soonyoung had texted him anyway. Actually, the text had went something like this:

**Received at 6:15pm**

**HOSHI: he's not dead. he's in the i.c.u. i'm here with his mom. nobody is allowed to see him. ill be over at eight to check on you.**

But then he had texted him again, and this text had made him open a new bottle of Jameson.

**Received at 7:34pm**

**HOSHI: he's in a coma on life support. something went wrong. im sorry**

Fuck, he was a mess. How could a boy have him string out like this? But then again,

Seungcheol had never been just a boy. 

_Kodaline._

All he could do was listen to _Kodaline_.

_You brought out the best of me_

_A part of me I've never seen._

_You took my soul,_

_You wiped it clean_

_Our love was made for movie screens....._

_\------------_

**Jeonghan**

At 8:09 Soonyoung came over. 

They cried together.

Soonyoung asked him if he wanted to stay over at the hospital until Seungcheol woke up.

He had said no.

He said no because sitting in the hospital would be too painful for him.

\-----------

**Jeonghan**

At 2:57 am, Soonyoung fell asleep on the floor. 

Instead of going to sleep, he listened to about five of Seungcheol's playlists.

He didn't cry.

He had nothing left to cry out.

Pinching his eyes shut, Jeonghan felt himself reminiscing once again. 

It seemed like the more he tried to forget, the more he wanted to remember.


	21. Chapter Twenty-One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please read notes at the end!!   
> thank you for reading!

**Chapter Song: I Won't Give Up by Jason Mraz**

**Track 5 on 'Sad Songs For A Bad Day' made by Jeonghan**

**Jeonghan**

The thing about time was that it always seemed to stop when something bad had just happened to you. Jeonghan had started to lose count of all the days since the accident. _Had it been three days? Four?_ He stopped counting after the first day.

Soonyoung had taken all his liquor away from him and had threatened to pour it all down the kitchen sink if he didn't stop. He had said no.

Soonyoung still poured it down the sink. 

_He wanted Seungcheol._

He wanted him so badly.

Only he could pull him out of the black hole he had created by himself. 

Mingyu had called around, but Jeonghan had thrown a bottle of Jameson at him and had screamed at him to get lost. Deep down, he knew he didn't want Mingyu to get lost. He knew that Mingyu was the only person around here that could keep him sane. He understood how much Seungcheol meant to Jeonghan. 

But no.

At the same time, Mingyu was partially the reason why Seungcheol was in a coma. If he hadn't of made Jeonghan so mad, Jeonghan wouldn't have lashed out at Seungcheol and made him wheel straight in front of a car.

The car. 

The screams. 

The blood.

His head in his lap.

His brown eyes closed, possibly never to open again.

If this was his punishment for hurting the boy in the wheelchair, then he would rather die.

\-----------

**Jeonghan**

"Jeonghan!"

He didn't open his eyes.

"Jeonghan I know you're awake you fucker."

He rolled over on his side so his back was facing Soonyoung. He was not in the mood. He just wished everything and everybody would go away and leave him alone....

"Jeonghan... Seungcheol woke up."

That got his attention. 

His eyes snapped open and in seconds he was up and heading for the door, his keys swinging in his hands.

"Jeonghan wait!"

He didn't stop.

"Jeonghan you idiot you don't have a shirt on!"

He cursed loudly.

Why did he always forget some article of clothing when he was in a rush to see Seungcheol?

\------------

**Jeonghan**

"Jeonghan slow down!" screeched Soonyoung as he broke yet another red light.

"You could have got us killed!"

"But I didn't!"

He slammed his foot down on the breaks as a big ass van pulled out in front of him.

**BEEEEEP!**

**"** Watch where you're pulling out you stupid--"

"Jeonghan that's enough!"

"This bitch pulled out in front of me! She could have killed us!"

"You would have seen her pull out if you were driving slower."

"We need to get to the hospital." 

"Jeonghan, just please calm down."

"Hold on!"

He slammed on the acceleration petal as the big ass car pulled away. Soonyoung yelled as he was flung back into his seat. 

"Yoon Jeonghan if your mother was here--"

He skidded around the corner, causing both of them to nearly fall out of Jeonghan's silver Hyundai. 

Soonyoung had started to breathe heavily, his eyes shooting daggers at Jeonghan.

He sighed and slammed the brakes again as they met another red light.

"How long has he been awake?" he asked softly, drumming his hands against the steering wheel.

Soonyoung sighed.

"A few hours. No one's allowed in to see him, only his mom."

Jeonghan swallowed.

_He had to get in there._

_He had to talk to him._

"Jeonghan... the reason he was in a coma... the reason he nearly _died_ during surgery... they tried some sort of new surgery on him."

"Soonyoung, lets not talk about that right now." he said calmly.

"Can we listen to one of his playlists for you? I always see him making them, but I've never actually listened to one." said Soonyoung suddenly.

He nodded silently.

They listened to _Songs You Should Dance To Because I Can't,_ and Soonyoung cranked up the volume to the highest as _Dance, Dance_ by _Fall Out Boy_ came on. Maybe he was trying to block out the current situation they were in. Maybe he was trying to block out his worried thoughts about Seungcheol.

That's what Jeonghan was trying to do anyway.

It was incredibly hard to not think of him when he listed to the playlists though.

_His playlists._

_There was something about his playlists that made him wonder..._

He allowed himself to shut his eyes in thought as he braked at a red traffic light.

Ever since Seungcheol had been in the hospital, Jeonghan had been listening to his playlists, back to back, always on repeat. But the more he listened to his songs on each playlists, the more he wondered whether Seungcheol's songs were actually trying to tell him something.

The idea had struck him after he had listened to _Patient Love_ by _Passenger_ and _Teardrops on my Guitar_ by _Taylor Swift._

_Was Seungcheol trying to tell him something?_

_Was Seungcheol in love with him?_

_"_ Jeonghan the light are green." Soonyoung's voice made him jump and his eyes snapped open.

"We're nearly at the hospital anyway. Look, it's straight ahead." he said as he nodded forward.

He sighed and slammed on the acceleration petal for the last time. 

And for the first time in his entire life, Yoon Jeonghan felt scared. 

He was scared because he didn't know what to expect when he arrived at the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter (I know) buttt....  
> im so excited yet so sad to continue writing this story (because i dont want it to end)  
> so i think for now, i will start to focus on my new fic  
> i've decided to write it about wonwoo, actually i've already started to write it, and im SO excited   
> i hope you guys will read and enjoy it well (even though it's a het fic heh)  
> thank you guys for supporting the au, it really means alot and i hope u guys will continue to support me :D


	22. Chapter Twenty-Two

**Chapter Song: Let Her Go by Passenger**

**Track 11 on 'I'm Sorry' made by Jeonghan**

**Jeonghan**

His heart was pounding in his chest when he walked into the hospital, the familiar scent of hand sanitizer and soap greeting him like an old friend. He started to walk briskly up to the reception desk, his palms starting to sweat. 

_Clump! Clump! Clump!_

The sound of his heavy boots against the tiles echoed around the whole hall. He felt like he was going to get sick. Beads of sweat had started to drip down his forehead, the room was spinning, and all he could thing about was _him._

_Is this how it felt like to be scared?_

If this was fear, then Jeonghan was feeling it right now.

_Clump! Clump! Clump!_

He was nearly at the desk.

_Clump! Clump! Clump!_

"I need to see Choi Seungcheol." 

The blink of confusion of the reception lady. 

The judgmental eyes as she took in his appearance.

"Choi Seungcheol, hm?" And who might you be to this person?" the woman sighed, picking up a pen and scanning through the list of patients.

"I-I'm...uhh..." 

_What was he to Seungcheol?_

Friends wasn't enough, but they weren't exactly _lovers,_ and there was no point in lying about being his brother because he was sure the snobby secretary was sure to catch him out and have him banned from the hospital altogether.

"I'm Yoon Jeonghan... I'm... I'm a close friend." he blurted.

The woman snorted.

"Well Mister Jeonghan, I'm afraid that your _close friend_ Choi Seungcheol, is not on the list."

Jeonghan felt his jaw drop to the floor.

"T-there has to be a mistake! He's in here! He just woke up from a coma!" he stammered, his voice sounding choked up.

The woman rolled her eyes.

"I'm sorry, but your hysterical state is making me consider calling security-"

"No! Don't you dare!" he hissed, making her smirk disappear.

"Sir... you are causing a scene."

"I'm not leaving until I see Choi Seungcheol." he said calmly, keeping his temper at bay.

"Jeonghan?"

He whirled around and saw Nina, the pretty nurse who had looked after him when he had gotten his stomach pumped.

_The nurse who had sneaked Seungcheol in to see him._

"Nina! You have to tell them to let me in to see Seungcheol now! Please I-"

"Jeonghan... Seungcheol ... he's not here anymore."

He froze, his heart plummeting to the very bottom of his stomach. It felt like someone had just pierced him with a blade made of ice.

"What?" he breathed, his eyes staring at the nurse.

"He woke up from his coma... and something was wrong... something to do with his speech and his legs... they were talking about sending him back home, back to Daegu because there's nothing left we can do for him here."

_So close._

_He had been so close._

But Seungcheol had been torn away from him, just like that.

It was like Satan himself had been taunting him with the idea of seeing Seungcheol again, but had snatched him away before Jeonghan could even get _close._

He let the tears fall. He didn't care that everyone was about to see him cry, even the snobby reception lady.

"I'm sorry Jeonghan." whispered Nina as she walked off, a tray of ice cream for a patient in his hands.

He was sorry too.

**Seungcheol**

He had never liked planed. The idea of flying through the air at God knows what speed with the risk of crashing and plummeting to the ground and exploding into flames? 

No thank you.

But there he was, on a flight back to Daegu, his body feeling numb.

The doctors had explained everything. Apparently, the car had done a lot of damage to his legs and head and that when he had arrived on the stretcher in the hospital, the chances of him surviving had been less than twenty percent.

But they took a risk. 

They took a risk on him.

They tried a new type of surgery on him and they were able to fix him.

And they did better than they should have.

According to Doctor Baek, they had inserted these new ' _stem cells'_ into his spine to help repair it, and it had worked. So he went on to explain that now that his spine was on the road to heeling up, 

_he was going to be able to walk again._

_He was going to be able to use his legs._

But it had gotten even better than that.

Apparently, in Daegu they were researching problems with speech, and they had contacted the Seoul hospital when they found out Seungcheol was in care and had asked them to send him to Daegu when they were finished.

So he was going to be able to speak properly as well. 

It was all too good to be true, but with every sweet piece of news, there was also something bitter to wash it down with, and unfortunately, he had been no exception to the cruel game of fate. 

He may have been moving back to Daegu, his real home, but he was leaving something, more like _someone_ , behind. 

_Jeonghan._

He had left him without even a goodbye. God, he wanted to scream at the pilot to turn around and take Jeonghan with him. He wasn't ready to leave him.

He still had one final playlist to give him, the one playlist that would tell him everything he had been feeling for him ever since they met.

All the songs that summed everything up, never to reach his ears at all.

_That is, if he never goes to get it._

He had promised himself that he wouldn't cry when he got on the plane.

_Whoops._

**Jeonghan**

**CRASH! CRANK!**

"Nope. Not it here."

**CRASH!  
**

"Fuck!"

Jeonghan cursed as he set aside yet another box of junk. He was pretty sure he wasn't going to find any passport in there. But he needed his passport to get to Daegu.

_Daegu._

He was going to go.

He didn't care that he was flat out broke with not a single penny to his name.

He was going to get him.

He had to.

**Seungcheol**

He didn't want to listen to Mariah Carey.

He didn't want to listen to Little Mix. 

He didn't want to listen to Blink-182.

He didn't want to listen to anything without Jeonghan.

**Jeonghan**

He laughed a bittersweet laugh as he pulled a box full of his old mixtapes. It had been so many years since he had looked through his beautiful collection of music, but as he reached to take one out, he felt his hand freeze at the corner of the box. 

He didn't want to listen to any of them without Seungcheol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D


	23. Chapter Twenty-Three

**Chapter Song: I Miss You by Blink-182**

**Track 19 on 'Songs I Listen To When I Miss You' made by Jeonghan**

**Seungcheol**

When he arrived to Daegu airport, his whole family had been there to greet him. His grandma, grandpa, Uncle, his Aunt, even his cousins from Busan had shown up.

But not Jeonghan.

And even though he felt a great rejoice after being reunited with his relatives after nearly fifteen years, he had never felt so alone and empty in his entire life.

**Jeonghan**

After a year and a half of searching for his passport without any luck, Jeonghan had given up. The landlord of his apartment had called him up to tell him that his rent was overdue and if he didn't pay it withing twenty four hours, he was going to be kicked out.

And the sad thing was, he ha no one to help him out.

He wasn't talking to Mingyu anymore, Minghao was definitely out of the picture too, and Soonyoung? Soonyoung would just tell him to fuck off. There was the option of calling his parents, but he would never live it down.

There _were_ a couple of people that he could call who would gladly let him crash in their place, but that would result in having sex with them, and Jeonghan didn't want that anymore. He knew that if he _did_ fuck someone, he would only feel guilty because of Seungcheol. 

So instead, Jeonghan found himself grabbing the keys to his car and in minutes he was on the road, driving towards a house that he knew was empty.

But he just wanted to see it.

One last time.

**Seungcheol**

"How was Seoul, Seungcheol? I heard they have really cool shops there!"

"Did you meet any friends?"

"Did you meet any boyfriends?"

"Where did you get your computer?"

"Are you _really_ going to be able to walk again?"

Seungcheol felt like his head was going to explode with all the questions his family was overlapping his brain with. His fingers were actually sore from typing quick replies to them.

It was a relief when his Grandma had sent them all out into the kitchen because she had made some _tteokbokki_ for everyone. 

Seungcheol had always loved his Grandma. He admired her a lot. Maybe it was because she had kept her strenght after her son (Seungcheol's dad) and her oldest granddaughter, Seungyeon (Seungcheol's sister) had died in a car crash many years ago, or maybe it was because Grandma _always_ knew when something was wrong. 

Just like she did right now.

It was just her and Seungcheol in the living room now, and when his Grandma sat down in her favorite brown armchair, Seungcheol knew that he was about the get grilled.

"Seungcheol, how was Seoul, hm? And I want the truth." she said and she gave Seungcheol a knowing look.

"IT WAS FINE." he typed back, choosing her words carefully.

It was the truth. Seoul hadn't been amazing, but it hadn't been awful either. 

His Grandma nodded in approval.

"Hmmmm... I thought so. There's something in your eyes that tell me you met someone."

Seungcheol couldn't help it. He felt his cheeks flush.

"Ha! I knew it! Grandpa would be so proud of me! Too bad he's inside scoffing down all the tteokbokki.' his grandma grumbled. 

"So, Seungcheol, are you going to tell me?"

Seungcheol felt himself hesitate. Was he going to tell her? He had sworn to himself on the plane that none of his relatives were to know about Jeonghan.

But this was his Grandma.

And with grandma, well, you never hole anything back.

So with that, Seungcheol found himself spilling the story of him and Jeonghan on to his keyboard and out of the tiny speaker of his laptop.

**Jeonghan**

He had to admit, Seungcheol's house looked a bit weird without the basket of flowers hanging from the porch, or the little gnome that he tripped over once when he had dropped Seungcheol home. 

It just didn't look right. 

He sighed as he pulled on to the curb and got out of his car, turning the radio off. The house already had a ' _For Sale'_ sign outside of it. He winced at the thought of some stranger buying Seungcheol's house.

He decided to retrace his steps up to the front door for the last time. He sounded like a psycho, but he just wanted to remember what it felt like, one last time. 

He started to take small steps towards the front gate, a gate that he had opened so many times before. He shut his eyes and remembered pushing Seungcheol through the front gate.

_One step._

His smile. He had such a cute gummy-smile. 

_Two steps._

His eyes. Brown, and they shinned bright. Kind of like stars.

_Three steps._

His hair. It was never too long, but never too short.

_Four steps._

His cute little nose with it's little bridge. 

_Five steps._

The feeling of his fingers pressed lightly against his chest.

_Six steps._

Mint and cologne. 

_Seven steps._

His glasses. They were always a little too big for his eyes. Not that he minded though.

_Eight steps._

His lips... if he even _thought_ about them, he knew he would lose it.

_Nine steps._

His laugh. Always so full of fun, always so beautiful to hear.

_Ten steps._

The last step, the last thing to remember.

His voice. 

He wished that it was on a CD so he could play it back over and over.

He opened his eyes, and sure enough he was there, right outside of his door.

Ten steps. 

That's all.

He took a deep breath as he let his fingers brush against the cold paint of the door.

 _Jesus,_ he probably looked like a psychopath....

Then he was crying again, his head falling against the door, his fists pounding at it angrily. 

_Why, why, why, why?_

"I fucking hate everything!" he screamed as he started to kick at the ground.

Then he started to scream profanities at the sky, so loud that he was pretty sure the whole neighborhood could hear him.

"A-Are you Jeonghan?" 

He whipped around, brushing his sleeve against his eyes to hastily wipe away the tears.

It was a little boy, he had to be only ten years old, maybe eleven. 

He felt himself get embarrassed. _Had he heard him curse like there was no tomorrow?_

"Are you Yoon Jeonghan?" the boy repeated, his voice a little more brave this time.

"Yes." he replied slowly. 

The boy nodded and proceeded to hand him a small box that was wrapped in blue wrapping paper. 

"Uhmm... there was a boy who used to live here. Seungcheol was his name, I think you know that anyway... but he.. he told me to give you this if you ever decided to come around again. I don't know why he didn't want me to send it to you. All he said was that you had to come get it yourself, but then I asked, _how were you going to collect a present that you didn't even know you were supposed to get?_ And he said that maybe you wouldn't come and get it. That maybe you'd forget something... but obviously you didn't because you're here and I'm glad you remembered whatever you were supposed to."

The little boy's words stunned him. He didn't know what to say, so instead he reached out and took the small box, his head spinning like a spinning top.

The boy nodded at him like a business man who had just completed his task. 

"It's great that you came. I thought I was going to have that parcel forever, and I'm only ten you know." he said as he smiled proudly at Jeonghan.

Jeonghan laughed.

"Thank you." he said finally, crouching down to ruffle up the boy's hair.

"It was no problem, really." he said, beaming at him.

"You're pretty cool for a ten year old, you know." he laughed.

He shrugged.

"I guess." 

He laughed again and started to make his way toward his car.

"Jeonghan?" 

He turned around and saw the little boy staring at him, his head tilted to the side.

"Was Seungcheol your boyfriend?"

He sighed and walked back over to him, crouching down again.

"I'm about to tell you something alright? And I want you to remember this for when you get older." he paused, waiting for his reaction.

"Okay." he said.

"When you get older, you might meet someone... _someone a little different._ And when you _do_ meet that someone different, that someone who makes your tummy feel funny when they're around, you hold on to them, alright? Don't let them slip out of your fingers like I let _him_ slip... don't forget about that person who _really_ means the most to you."

The boy nodded firmly an gave him a fierce look.

"I promise I will."

Jeonghan smiled at him.

"What's your name?" he asked as he stood up.

"Lee Chan." he said proudly. 

Jeonghan chuckled. 

"Well then, Lee Chan, I do hope we meet again someday." he said with a wink. 

He giggled.

"Me too. And I hope you get your Seungcheol back." 

Jeonghan gave him a sad smile and let his eyes flicker down to the small box in his hands.

"I hope I get him back too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello lovely people, i've returned :D  
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter it was really fun to write loll  
> also, i published my other story!! it's called "Run" and you can check it out in my profile if you'd like! its a wonhui au :DDD


	24. Chapter Twenty Four

**Chapter Song: Wake Me Up When September Ends by Green Day**

**Track 1 on 'Sad Songs For A Bad Day' (made by Jeonghan)**

**Jeonghan**

When he opened the box, he felt his heart sink, but his soul fly, all at the same time.

It wasn't a ticket to Daegu. 

It wasn't even an address to his house in Daegu.

There were three things in the box. 

A playlist, one hundred dollars, and a note with only two words on it:

_I'm sorry_

**Seungcheol**

He wondered if Jeonghan got the parcel he left for him, or had he already forgotten him like he did once before?

_Was he sleeping with someone new?_

_Was he sharing his playlist with someone else?_

He didn't want to know.

He just hoped he used the money wisely.

He just hoped he used it to pay his overdue rent.


	25. Chapter Twenty Five

**Chapter Song: All Too Well by Taylor Swift**

**\- Track 26 on 'I Miss You' (made by Seungcheol)**

**Jeonghan**

Six months.

It took him six months to get his life back on track.

But not _once_ did he forget about him.

He had got a job at Starbucks, and surprisingly, Jeonghan loved the cafe life. He loved the smile on people's faces when he remembered what coffee they liked. He loved waiting on people, singing to the music in the cafe as he wiped down the tables, everything about the industry made him smile. 

It had taken a long time, but he had finally mended the relationship between him Mingyu.

Soonyoung had started to talk to him again after he had paid his rent (with a little help of Seungcheol) and Soonyoung had even decided to work at Starbucks with him, which was pretty cool because although they were always making jokes of each other, they both loved each other's company.

But even though he was finally getting a new life while leaving his shitty old one behind, there as always something--no-- _someone_ pulling him back.

After six months of tips from old ladies and a little help from Soonyoung and Mingyu, he had finally done it.

He had saved up for a ticket to Daegu. 

And he was on the plane, right now. 

**Seungcheol**

The more he thought about it, the more he started to believe that only _six_ months had passed and not _twelve._

He was starting to forget about him like _he_ forgot about him once. 

Everyday he could feel himself forgetting little things about him, like the way he walked down the street, _was it with two hands in his pockets or one?_ Or the way he would look at him when he thought he wasnt noticing his eyes on him, but heck, he felt those brown on him nearly all the time when he was around. 

He was forgetting _him_ like he had forgot his dad and his sister. 

Slowly disappearing from his mind, but never quite leaving him altogether.

**Jeonghan**

"Welcome to Daegu!"

"Ehhhh... thanks."

Jeonghan couldn't feel anything but awkward since the plane had landed in Daegu. They were so friendly in this city, or maybe it was just the flight attendants trying to get his attentions.

He was praying it was the first theory.

He sighed as he grabbed his backpack from the belt, and started to make his way towards... _towards where?_ Why were all the sign post _english?_

He cursed as he tried to figure out what the sign in front of him meant.

He stared at it for a few seconds.

"You know there's Korean under it, right?" laughed a flight attendant as she strolled passed him, batting her eyelashes at him.

He flicked his eyes to under the sign.

_Exit._

"Thank you." he said as he nodded politely at the girl, careful not to make eye contact with her boobs.

"No problem. Hey, a couple of my friends are going to the club tonight..." she trailed off and gave him a bit _too_ friendly look. 

"Clearly you're not from around here, and I would love to show you around, you know?" she stepped closer to him.

"So what do you say, love? Want a ride off me or what?"

Jeonghan smiled and shook his head, trying to hold back his laughter.

"As much as I would love to..." he slowly started to walk backwards, leaving the blonde beauty in a state of shock.

"I'm already called for."

Then he turned on his heels and was off, with not a clue where to go or where he was. 

But that was the adventure of it all. 

\-----

**Jeonghan**

The minute he had stepped out of the airport, Jeonghan knew he should have stopped and thought about what his next move should be.

He had made it to Daegu--great, but how the fuck was he supposed to get to Seungcheol's house when he didn't even know where hewas?-- let alone where _he_ was. 

He sighed, frustrated, as he walked down some random street that the cab had kicked him out at. Yes, he had gotten kicked out of the cab, all because he had stupidly told the driver that he only had dollars and no no won.

Bad move.

And that was why he was currently walking down some unknown street, a backpack slung over his shoulders, with no clue where he was. If someone were to mug him right now, Jeonghan would probably be too confused to even notice.

Although he was lost and wandering like a tourist, he had to admit, the scenery was every bit as nice as Seungcheol had described it.

Green grass, tall tree, neat little roads, Daegu was a nice place.

He just wished he knew what part of Daegu he was _in._

He had stopped looking at the sign posts because they were all in English, and when he had tried asking people where he was, they all gave him a weird look and walked off without saying anything to him.

It was starting to get dark now, and grey clouds were starting to swirl in the sky above his head. As he stared up at the sky, he remembered the time when Seungcheol told him that it " _Rained a crapload,"_ in Daegu.

Fuck.

So now he was lost, with no money, no place to stay and it was about to rain like Hell.

The odds were definitely in his favor.

He _really_ should have thought this through before he stepped out of the airport.

He started to walk again, just as the street light started to flicker on, each of the little lights glowing and lighting up the street.

It made him smile.

He didn't even know why.

Maybe it was because they reminded him of home.

" _You!"_

Jeonghan stopped dead in his tracks as the sound of an elderly lady's voice filled the empty street/ He shrugged it off after about five seconds and kept on walking. It was probably someone calling someone else. 

"Wait! You in the black pants! Stop!"

Okay, that lady was _definitely_ calling him.

Slowly he turned around and saw--no surprise-- an old lady walking towards him, groceries clutched tightly in both of her hands.

As she approached him, Jeonghan took in her appearance.

She was a plump woman, short and stout and with wavy silvery hair. She had a small mouth and her eyes--

He felt a small shiver go through his body as he looked at her eyes. 

_Big and brown._

_The same big and brown eyes._

"You better have a good explanation as to what took you so long to get here!" the woman huffed as she approached him.

"W-What?" he stammered, a wave of confusion washing over him like a tsunami.

Then she was hitting him with her bag of groceries.

" _Ah!_ Ma'am! Please stop!" he yelped as she swung the groceries viciously at him.

"You jerk! Leaving my grandson with high hopes!"

He froze.

_Granson?_

"Is...is your grandson Choi Seungcheol by any chance?" he asked, his voice an octave higher than usual.

The woman stopped beating him up with her groceries and smiled up at him.

"Yes, yes he is. And you must be the famous Yoon Jeonghan from Seoul." 

He felt his heart soar. He didn't even bother questioning the woman on how she knew him. He was too overwhelmed by the relief of finding someone who must know where Seungcheol was.

A smile cracked on his face.

"He still remembers me?" the stupid question tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop him.

The old woman gave him a warm smile.

"Well, it would be hard to forget you, wouldn't it? With that handsome face, chelsea boots and your gorgeous hair." 

Jeonghan felt himself flush. 

She must have noticed his worried expression on his face, because she shook her head and started to laugh.

"Come with me son, I'll take you to where you need to go."

She started to walk off, leaving Jeonghan in a state of confusion. He started to laugh like an idiot.

"Well? Are you coming or not? I could use a little help with these groceries, or are you just going to stand there all night like a dummy?"

**Seungcheol**

After not being able to walk for fifteen years, Seungcheol was finding learning how to walk again extremely frustrating. The doctors had given him leg braces to help train them, but it still took him nearly ten minutes to get from the living room to the kitchen.

And that was a record.

He sighed and started to hum _Brand New Day_ by _Kodaline_ quietly as he struck on the kettle. Grandma was due to come home any minute now. 

Then, as if on cue, the doorbell rang. 

"Mom! Grandma's at the door!" he yelled over the noise of the kettle. 

His speech was perfect, not a stammer to be heard.

He only stammered when he was nervous now.

"Cheol, I just got out of the shower!"

Seungcheol groaned.

"Grandpa! Grandma's at the door!" he yelled.

"I'm playing internet bingo! You get it!"

Double groan. 

He placed down two mugs on the counter and started to make his way towards the front door, small steps all the way. By the time he reached the door, he was slightly out of breath.

Pushing his glasses up his nose, he unlocked the door and pulled it open.

He nearly screamed when he saw who was on the other side of the door. 

**Jeonghan**

_He was standing._

Seungcheol was standing, on his own, with some sort of brace thing on his legs.

 _God,_ he still looked perfect as ever, straight brown hair, big circle glasses, the smell of mint and cologne.

Seungcheol was staring at him, his big brown eyes wide and shocked.

Jeonghan was staring right back at him, a crooked smile plastered across his face.

They both stared at each other for what felt like ages.

Then Jeonghan felt something (more like someone) poke him in the back.

"Say something son." Seungcheol's Grandma hissed into his ear.

"I..uhmmmm....I.." he was stumbling over his words, his heart pounding in his chest.

"Jeonghan?" Seungcheol breathed, his eyes as wide as his mouth could be. 

And then he was lifting him up into his arms, Seungcheol laughing, Jeonghan holding him like he was never going to let him go. 

"You're here. You're actually here." he whispered into his ear, sending shivers down his spine.

"I'm sorry I took so long." he murmured into his neck. 

"And I'm sorry that I left without a goodbye."

_His voice._

_God,_ affect he had on him.

He took took his head out of the crook of his neck.

"I missed you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um.. bad chapter but hello another update!!  
> this story is almost done and im so sad :( i hope you guys are enjoying it and im sorry the chapters have been taking so long!! ill try to update more frequently lol Tell me what you think of this chapter!!   
> i missed you guys!!!


	26. Chapter Twenty Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas!!!!   
> My gift; not taking 1092857349 years to update lol   
> thank you all so much for the love on the previous chapter and for all the love on Cheol's grandma lol   
> shes loving all the love and support shes getting   
> have a nice day/night and thank you so much for continuing to support this story, it really means the world to me :')  
> also, i've never been korea so idk what the heck im talking about lol i just searched up a park name and created my own scenery lol

**Chapter Song: Photograph by Ed Sheeran**

**-Track 9 on 'Songs That Remind Me Of You' (made by Seungcheol)**

**Seungcheol**

"So, Jeonghan, how did you land yourself in Daegu anyway? And don't say by plane." 

"I...uhm.. I got a job at Starbucks. Saved up all of my tips for a ticket to get here."

"Hmm.. coffee guy, huh? I'm sure a lot of young and good looking waitresses work with you then--!"

"Grandma!"

Seungcheol sent Jeonghan an apologetic look.

They were sitting around the table eating bibimbap, which Jeonghan had been delighted about. Unfortunately, Grandma was grilling Jeonghan with questions like a chef grilled burger on the barbecue. 

"What are your intentions?" asked Grandma as she sent Jeonghan a weary look. 

"I..uh..wait..my intentions?" Jeonghan stammered.

"Yes! You aren't here just to pop in and have a cup of coffee, are you? You're here to see my Seungcheol!

"Grandma I think I'm going to take Jeonghan to Duryu Park." Seungcheol said quickly, saving Jeonghan from Grandma's beady eyes.

Jeonghan sent him a grateful look. 

"Duryu Park? Do you need a ride?" asked Grandpa as he peeped over the edge of his newspaper 

He shook his head.

"No, we'll just walk/" Seungcheol said as he stood up and started to fix his leg braces.

In seconds Jeonghan was by his side, helping him out. They started to make their way into the hall.

"Choi Seungcheol! You better bring your coat or else you'll catch your death cold!"

He rolled his eyes as Jeonghan stiffled a laugh.

"She's doing this on purpose. It's just because you're here." Seungcheol mumbled, his cheeks feeling hot.

"Do you want me to get your coat?" Jeonghan offered, and Seungcheol smiled with relief.

"Yeah that would be great. It's just under the stairs over there." 

_Thank God he didn't have to walk all the way over to the coat hanger_

_It would have taken him five hundred years..._

"Alright." he said, a smirk on his face.

"What are you smirking at Jeonghan?" he asked.

Jeonghan laughed an shook his head, still grinning like a fool.

"It's just... crazy hearing your voice."

He rolled his eyes.

"Why? Do you miss my sexy computer voice?" he asked, unamused.

Jeonghan laughed.

"I'll admit, I _do_ miss it a lot."

He took a step closer to him.

"But I do prefer your real voice _much_ better." he said softly, his face inches away from Seungcheol's.

"That's nice to know." Seungcheol whispered, his eyes locking with Jeonghan's"

"I missed you so much Cheol." 

Seungcheol sighed. 

"Guess the feeling goes both ways then, huh?"

He laughed again.

"Guess it does.

And just as he felt his eyes flutter close...

"Seungcheol! Your coat!"

He groaned and Jeonghan burst out laughing this time.

_Who knew Grandma was a cockblock?_

**Jeonghan**

It was cold in Duryu Park. it was the kind of col that would make you wish you wore two jackets instead of one, or the kind of cold that made you put on a scarf before you went out.

It was a cold different from the one in Seoul.

They were walking through Duryu Park-- which was _huge_ \-- and Jeonghan couldn't help but feel completely awestruck by it's beauty. 

He had never seen trees quite like these before, about twenty of them all in a row, all of them towering over his head like giants looking down from the sky.

He flicked his eyes over to Seungcheol, who was walking slowly, his brown eyes looking at nothing and everything at once. He didn't know what made him do it, but he found himself slipping his hand into Seungcheol's without a word.

Seungcheol froze at his touch, and weird expression passed over his face. Jeonghan wasn't quite sure what expression it was.

It kind of looked like sadness, happiness and pain all mixed together.

He didn't pull away though, and the clouded expression disappeared as they walked on.

"I never did say thank you for the present that you got your neighbor to give me." he said suddenly, breaking the silence.

Seungcheol laughed quietly, his breath coming out of his mouth in wisps of steam that looked like fog.

"Jeonghan, that was six months ago." he said.

Jeonghan shrugged.

"I know... but you saved my ass from being kicked out of my apartment... and I feel bad for not thanking you sooner. 

He stopped walking and stepped in front of him, his eyes landing on Seungcheol's. 

"So thank you." he said, giving him a smile.

Seungcheol squeezed his hand in response, making goosebumps appear all over his body.

"I wanted to say goodbye you know.... the only reason I left so quickly was because I knew that if I saw you before I left," he paused, inhaling sharply. 

"I wouldn't have been able to leave." he finished.

"It wasn't your fault the doctors screwed up during surgery---"

"But _was_ my fault for wheeling out into the middle of the street." 

Jeonghan inhaled sharply.

"Seungcheol it wasn't--"

"Don't start with this.. _bullshit_ Jeonghan! Nobody forced me to roll out on the road on _purpose-"_

"Wait, hold on,"

Jeonghan stopped again and turned to face him, his heart racing.

"On purpose?" he asked, his voice quiet.

Seungcheol's eyes flicked to look at the ground.

"What?"

**Seungcheol**

He had said too much.

Now he was going to find out. 

He was going to find out that he had seen the car speeding down the road.

That he had intended to get hit and die.

**Jeonghan**

"Seungcheol." 

He was refusing to look at him.

"Seungcheol ... why?"

"I did it because there was nothing left." he said suddenly, eyes still glued to the ground.

"I did it because I had just lost everything I cared about."

He wanted so badly to reach out and pull him close. He wanted _so_ badly to feel his hand in his again.

"I thought that if I.. if _I died_... things would be okay again." he said, finally looking up at him.

"I thought that _dying_ meant forgetting you."

"But when I woke up... alive... you were the fist thing that I remembered." he gave him a small smile. 

"When I woke up, the doctors asked me if I remembered anything... I think they just wanted to know if I still knew who I was. So when I said that I remembered Yoon Jeonghan they looked confused... and I started to cry because even after trying to kill myself... I _still_ remembered you."

And then he just couldn't hold himself back. Jeonghan needed him. God, he needed him like a plan needs a little rain. He needed him like a pen would need ink.

So he let himself hug him again.

And that was when he realized:

_He was in love._

_He was in love with Choi Seungcheol._

And it was a horrifically beautiful thing.


	27. Chapter Twenty Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> umh... hello :D   
> read the ending note for some info lol

**Chapter Song: Say Something by A Great Big World feat. Christina Aguilera**

**-Track 5 on 'Some Goodbyes Are Harder Than Others' (made by Seungcheol)**

**Seungcheol**

He decided to bring Jeonghan to the flower garden in the end. 

He would tell him there.

Grandma's words were echoing in his head. 

" _If you love someone let them go. If they come back, it's really meant to be. If they don't then it wasn't meant to be at all."_

He didn't want to let Jeonghan go.

_He had only got him back._

But he had to.

It was the only way.

**Jeonghan**

Seungcheol led him to what looked like a flower garden. It was a bit of a sad sight actually, probably because it was Winter, which meant that a lot of the flowers were snug in the ground, and only the ones brave enough to face the Winter storms were out.

It was a nice place though, and relatively empty at the moment. Only an old couple who were standing over some white roses were in the garden with them. 

"This must be a nice place in the Summer." he whistled as he kicked at a clump of moss on the ground.

Seungcheol nodded.

"Yeah. You wouldn't believe it. It's like _Wonderland."_

"I can't wait for you to show me sometime." he said, winking at him.

Then it was back.

The clouded expression passed over his face again.

But this time it didn't disappear.

"Jeonghan... I need to talk to you about something." he said, his voice quiet, nearly inaudible.

Seungcheol stopped walking and started to fidget with his sleeve. 

He _knew_ he was nervous now.

Seungcheol _only_ fidgeted with his sleeve when he was nervous.

"What's up?" he asked, trying to hide the anxiousness in his own voice. 

"Six months is a long time to think Jeonghan." he said, his voice soft.

"And it's a long time to _consider_ and _rethink_ things... naive thing like love..." he trailed off.

He knew what Seungcheol was getting at now. Seungcheol wasn't sure about his feeling, heck, he was still confused about _his._

They had created a disaster of themselves, full of lies, broken promises and playlists that spoke some unspoken emotions.

_They were hurricanes._

They were hurricanes that brought them a storm, and when it was all over, they were left with nothing but each other.

_They were a mess._

And they both knew it. 

But he held on.

But from his words, it seemed that Seungcheol wasn't sure if he wanted to hold on anymore.

So he didn't say anything, and then he took his silence as an indication to keep going with his speech.

"I _want_ to let myself love you Jeonghan. I _want_ to give you another chance... but every time I give you a chance, you rip it up and throw it away like it means nothing." he started to breath fasted and Jeonghan gave him a concerned look, but Seungcheol shrugged him off.

"Six months made me realize that maybe... maybe you're not in love with _me,_ Jeonghan. Maybe you're just in love with the _idea_ of me." 

"But that's ridiculous! How can I be in love with the _idea_ of you, Seungcheol?" he yelled finally, his temper rising. 

Seungcheol, on the other hand, remained calm, which pissed Jeonghan off because he was also acting _cynical_. 

"Look at yourself and Minghao. You didn't date him because you were in love with him, you were in love with the idea of him. He gave you sex when you wanted it, he helped you pay your rent, he put up with your drinking, but tell me Jeonghan, _do you even know what his favorite color is?"_ Seungcheol's eyes were blazing at him, making it difficult to hold his gaze.

Jeonghan wanted to scream at him that using Minghao as an example wasn't fair, but deep down, he knew Minghao was a perfect example to use.

No, he didn't know his favorite color, but was that really a problem?

Yes.

Of course it was.

And then he finally understood what Seungcheol was getting at. 

And he hated him for it.

But not as much as he hated himself.

"I'm still in love with you Jeonghan, and there was a brief time when I thought maybe you were in love with me too... but I'm not sure anymore, and I don't think you're quite sure either."

Jeonghan sighed.

Ten minutes ago, he was going to tell Seungcheol that he loved him, A slip of the tongue, a kiss, and they would be riding off into the sunset together, happily ever after. 

_Not anymore._

The boy in the wheelchair was slipping through his fingers like grains of sand once again, and he couldn't stop it. He wanted to yell at him that he _did_ love him, that he should just stop being so scared of love, but the truth was;

_he was scared too._

"I think we should go our separate ways. I mean, look at us Jeonghan, we're always going around in circles and I just want it to stop." he said loudly, making a couple of pigeons fly out of their nest.

And for the first time, Jeonghan saw the boy in the wheelchair look like he was about to cry. Unfortunately, he had seen this specific expression on his face too many times. His nails were digging into his palms, his eyes were concentrating so much on him, and he knew he was trying so hard not to lose it.

He was trying hard not to lose it too.

"I want to travel the world now that I can walk again. The doctors say that in a month or two, I'll be ready to walk without any help at all." his lip was wobbling a bit now. 

Jeonghan wanted to beg him to stop. Every word was like a knife in the back for him.

"And you have a life back in Seoul, Jeonghan. I know you love working in coffee shops. I can hear it when you talk about it." he said.

The cold breeze was starting to pick up a bit now. He wasn't sure which was colder. Him, or the breeze.

"I promise I won't forget about you. I promise I'll keep all the playlists." he said softly, taking a step closer to him, his leg braces squeaking.

"You're a great guy Jeonghan. I hope you find someone someday that you'll truly love." he whispered, taking another step towards him.

"But what if I don't find somebody else? What if all I ever wanted is standing right here in front of me?" he said finally, his voice cracking.

Seungcheol inhaled sharply, maybe a little shocked by his words, but then he cupped Jeonghan's cheek and gave him a small smile.

Then you'll know where to find me." he murmured.

"But you won't be here. You'll be off on your adventure." he sighed. 

"Well then, let fate bring you to me." 

"That's not a chance that I'm willing to bet on."

"But after you leave Jeonghan, you'll start to forget me like an adult who forgets their childhood. I won't be truly forgotten, but you won't quite remember what color my eyes were, or maybe you won't remember the color of my hair, but you won't forget me altogether.

He frowned.

"Why does that mean we have to do this?"

Seungcheol sighed.

"Because, the question is, do you actually love me? I mean, am I just going to be another forgotten memory of your scrapbook, or will you always remember me?"

He let his brown eyes meet Seungcheol's.

"Why are you closing the cover of an unfinished story?" he whispered. 

Then Seungcheol leaned in to kiss him, not too passionate or strong, just a quick brush of his lips against his.

"I'm not closing the cover of our story forever, I'm simply sliding a bookmark between the pages." Seungcheol whispered, his eyes fluttering open.

"We don't have to do this Seungcheol. We can build up what we had again." he felt his hand slide down Seungcheol's shoulders and reach for his hands. It was as cold as ice.

"Maybe _we_ don't have to do this, but _you_ do." he said, squeezing his hands before pulling away. 

Slowly, Seungcheol started to step away from him, leaving Jeonghan alone and empty, like a statue with no surrounding monuments. 

"Take this." he said slowly, taking out a flat, square package from his coat pocket.

Jeonghan took it and stared at it, a lump in his throat.

"Open it when you get out of the park. You might find some use in it." he said, staring at his shoes.

Jeonghan let himself look at him one last time.

Then he tried to memorize him like a poem.

_Big brown eyes, circle glasses, the cutest nose, pink lips, soft, brown hair, beautiful smile...._

_"_ Goodbye Jeonghan." he said finally, blinking furiously, his final attempt to hold back his tears on the verge of release.

Jeonghan wanted to hug him.

He wanted to kiss him again. 

He didn't want to leave it this way.

But Jeonghan knew that this time he alone was not going to fix the relationship between him and Seungcheol.

_Only time will fix them._

So instead of trying to fix something that was beyond repair, he simply shook his head and clutched the square package in his hand a little tighter. He took a deep breath and said, 

"This isn't goodbye." 

Then he turned his back on Choi Seungcheol for the last time, a lump on his throat and his boot dragging against the concrete of the flower garden.

He wasn't sure if this place would ever be beautiful to him at all.

**Seungcheol**

When Jeonghan was completely out of sight, he let himself fall to his knees and cry, his leg braces crunching.

_He had done it._

_He had actually done it._

But he didn't _want_ to let him go anymore.

He just wanted him to come back.

But it was too late.

His legs wouldn't allow him to catch him in time.

And his voice was caught in his throat.

So instead, he cried. 

_Six months._

Six months it had taken to build himself back up.

How incredibly sad it was, that it only took one day to make it fall apart all over again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first of all... sorry about the chapter. i kinda wanted to cry along with cheol on this one lol   
> second of all, for run, i kinda want to delete the story but idk. what do you guys think should i continue it or...???  
> and lastly, Playlist is almost over :(( i think around 3-4 more chapters are left. im so sad, i dont want to close cheol and jeonghan's story :( i feel like, this chapter was the complete opposite of what some people were expecting lol but nonetheless, i hope everyone enjoyed and i hope everyone is safe and healthy :D bye bye until next time!


	28. Chapter Twenty Eight

**Chapter Song: Vanishing by Mariah Carey**

**\- Track 18 on 'I'm Sorry' (made by Seungcheol)**

**Jeonghan**

He nearly broke down outside of the park when he opened the brown package. 

The last time he opened a package from Seungcheol, he had prayed for there to be a ticket to Daegu in it, but instead he had received one hundred dollars and a playlist in it.

This time he had gotten a playlist and a one way ticket to Seoul.

**Seungcheol**

When he tumbled into his house, tears streaming down his face like they were never going to stop, his Grandma was standing in the doorway, waiting for him.

"Is he gone?" Grandma asked, her voice low.

Seungcheol nodded and then felt a new round of tears start to fall. 

Except this time Grandma was there to comfort him. 

Not that he particularly noticed though.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter Song: The Answer by Kodaline**

**-Track 8 on 'Songs For New Beginnings' (made by Seungcheol)**

**Jeonghan**

One year after Jeonghan had stepped off his flight and into Seoul, he found himself walking to a place that he hadn't been to in a long time.

"Are you sure about this Jeonghan? It's a _lot_ of responsibility..."

"Soonyoung, will you calm down? I can handle this." he grumbled as he stopped outside the old record store, the key to it in his hand. 

"I can't believe you spent all of your hard earned money on _this_ piece of shit. Seriously Jeonghan, nobody has been here in about a year now." 

He ignored Soonyoung's nagging and slid the key into the lock. It clicked open and he stepped inside. 

He coughed as the dust of the old record shop filled his throat and nostrils.

"Yuck! It _still_ smells like weed in here!" Soonyoung snorted as he peeped over Jeonghan's shoulder. 

"We're going to need a lot of paint... and maybe if we get Mingyu to chip in we could build on an extension... hmm..." he studied the ruins of the shops.

"You're _crazy_ Jeonghan. You _do_ know the coffee shop business is a hard one to break into, right?" Soonyoung said, his voice stern.

Even after all this time, Soonyoung was still always weary of him screwing up.

He sighed and pulled an old Polaroid out of his jacket pocket. A boy with big brown eyes smiled back at him, and he felt himself smiling back at the photo too.

"He would have wanted me to do this Soonyoung." he said, sighing a little. 

He look up and saw Soonyoung giving him a sad smile.

"I know. I'm sorry for being snappy. I just want you to understand that you're taking a huge risk, gambling all your money on a cafe that might not take off." 

He laughed at Soonyoung's concern.

"It's a chance that I'm willing to bet on, Hoshi." he said, sending him a wink, which made Soonyoung roll his eyes.

"Douche bag." he grumbled.

Jeonghan laughed again and slipped the polaroid back into his jacket.

Yes, maybe he was a little crazy for trying to start his own coffee business when there was a Starbucks only two blocks down.

Yes, maybe he was a little crazy for spending his entire savings on a smelly shop that was probably over fifty years old.

But it was a new beginning for him.

And he was excited.

-

**Seungcheol**

One year after Seungcheol had broken down in the hall of his house, he found himself sitting on the rood and staring up at the stars.

He only knew one constellation, which was _Cassiopeia,_ and it was stretched above his head right now, like a cluster of dreams.

He wondered if _he_ was looking at _Cassiopeia_ too. 

He shut his eyes and tried to think about tomorrow.

This time tomorrow he would probably be in a bed and breakfast, eating some food that he had never tried before, or maybe she would be hitch hiking off some truckers.

Heck, he didn't know.

But that was adventure for you.

He was going to travel around Europe first. It had always interest him to go to the Colosseum in Rome, the Eiffel Tower in Paris, and the tulips in Amsterdam.

Then after Europe was Africa, then Australia, then Asia and then finally America (he skipped Antarctica because he hated the cold. It was cold enough in Korea anyway.)

The whole trip was going to take a year or two, maybe even more.

But he had finally gotten the all clear from his doctor.

He was able to use his legs that used to be just a pair of useless limbs.

Of course, he had tested his new legs by climbing up on to the roof and _thank God,_ they had actually worked.

He opened his eyes and laughed out loud to himself. 

It was a new beginning for him.

And he was excited.


	30. Epilogue

**Chapter Song: Vanishing by Mariah Carey**

**\- Track 1 on 'New Beginnings' (made by Jeonghan)**

**~ _Three Years Later ~_**

**_Seungcheol_ **

Seungcheol cursed as he brushed the snowflakes off his shoulder. Of course, just his luck, he had come back to Seoul in freaking Winter when it just _had_ to be cold and snowing. 

As he walked down the frost bitten street, all he really wanted was to sit down and have a warm cup of coffee, but the only café around was _Starbucks,_ and _Starbucks_ coffee sucked. 

So when he spotted a cute little café with fairy lights glowing from the windows, he felt like Christmas had come early.

He felt himself start to speed walk over to the glowing building, a weird feeling washing over him as he stepped inside of it. 

_The place felt so familiar._

_Like coming home._

But as he stepped inside and let the warmth seep into his bones, he brushed the odd feeling inside.

He felt his eyes scan over the café, searching for an empty seat. He groaned when he realized that the shop was full, literally, every table over-flowing with people. 

"Looking for a seat? There's one by the window, you know."

Seungcheol snapped out of his daze as a young boy's voice filled his head.

"Uhmm... pardon?" he asked, confusion coming over him.

"The window seat. I'll take you to it, if you want."

Seungcheol stared down at the boy, his eyes squinting.

The boy looked so _familiar._

 _"_ So, what's your name?" the boy asked, flipping open a notebook.

Seungcheol frowned.

"I thought that was a _Starbucks_ thing _?"_

The boy laughed. He had to be only thirteen years old.

"I guess, but we take your name so we can be like, more _friendly_ you know? Well, that's what Jeonghan said, but I think he's just searching for... _well..._ never mind. Come with me." 

Seungcheol felt himself miss a bit at the mention of a name that made him wonder... 

No.

He wouldn't be here.

He was probably on the other side of the world by now, maybe an echo of him left somewhere in Seoul for him to find. 

He stumbled after the boy, feeling a bit like a fool, gasping as he tripped over his own foot. 

The boy sent him a funny look from over his shoulder and Seungcheol tried to keep it casual by waving brightly.

"Well...errr... here's your table sir."

He nodded and sat down.

"So what would you like? Coffee? Mint ice-cream? Our baker, Jun, also makes these awesome cupcakes." the boy asked, once again pulling out his notebook.

"Uhmm.. just a coffee please." mumbled Seungcheol, maybe a little too awkwardly. 

Seungcheol sighed, his mind not really concentrating on anything going on, but on the name tag pinned on the boy's chest.

_Lee Chan._

_That name sounded familiar..._

"Soooo.... coffee! And your name! I need to give you a name tag!" the boy laughed, shaking his head.

"It's uhm.. it's Seungcheol." he mumbled quietly.

The boy froze and looked up at Seungcheol, his eyes as round as saucers.

"Did you just... _oh my god...."_ the boy looked up at Seungcheol as if he were from another planet.

"Choi Seungcheol. You _are_ Choi Seungcheol, right?" the boy demanded, his eyes blazing.

Seungcheol nodded, strangely scared of the boy's reaction.

"I-I am him. I mean... yeah I'm Seungcheol."

"You know what? I'll be _riiiiiight_ back _."_ the boy said, his voice high and his eyes as wide as his mouth could be.

He dashed off before Seungcheol could say another word.

 _Well that was odd._ Seungcheol thought to himself.

He started to drum his fingers against the table, his mind wandering off into his thoughts.

Travelling the world had been awesome. He had met some incredible people, done some incredible things, but after all these years he still felt an ache for _something_ or _someone_ who he had left behind Duryu Park a few years ago....

God, he was crazy for still thinking about him after all this time. For all he knew, _he_ could have moved on by now, living in some fancy house with a new guy.

That was probably _exactly_ what he was doing.

Seungcheol could nearly picture him, laughing over the dinner table, sipping wine and kissing another pair of lips between the sheets. 

He sighed and started to play with the sugar jars on the table.

Maybe that was what had drove him back to Seoul. Maybe that was why he was sitting alone in a random cafe that was packed with people.

He started to look around the cafe, his mind curious as to why it was so busy. People were practically lining up to get in.

There were pictures of numerous bands and famous figures on the wall, from _Kurt Cobain_ to _John Lennon,_ the place was filled with musical legends.

But not only were the musical legends on the walls, they were also _playing_ them out loud too. 

There was no mistaking the first few piano chords of _Butterfly_ by Mariah Carey that were playing softly in the background. 

He hadn't listened to Mariah Carey in ages.

Probably because it made him think of _him,_ and then he'd start to cry because he missed him so much and _he_ was gone because he let him go.

"One cup of coffee for a boy name Seungcheol." 

Seungcheol blinked, looked up and saw the boy with the cute eyes sliding a tray onto the table.

The boy started to walk away as Seungcheol started to frantically search for his wallet.

"Wait! How much do I owe you?" he yelled after the boy. The boy stopped in his tracks and whirled around, a smile plastered across his face.

"It's on the house." he said with a wink and then he walked off before Seungcheol could even argue.

After a few minutes of confusion, he shrugged and looked down at the tray, too occupied to give the boy's actions a second thought.

But the tray had more than a cup of coffee on it.

It had a steaming mug of coffee on it.

It had a bowl full of skittles and popcorn on it.

And it had a playlist on it.

He stared down at the playlist, his mouth open in utter bewilderment, because even after all this time, _he just couldn't believe it._

And then, just like pieces of a puzzle fitting into each other, like the world falling into place, like the sun coming out after the storm, Seungcheol felt everything in his life click.

And that was when he knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End. 
> 
> wowowowowow i cannot believe playlists is finally over. its time to cry y'all  
> actually, last chapter was the final chapter but i hated it so i wrote this one for yall lol  
> im gonna miss writing this story for you guys :( thank you for all the love and support, and the comments and kudos you all gave to me and the story. i appreciate all of them and am supper great full to anyone who even took a look at this story. ily and thanks for the last time lol


End file.
